Longing for Nothing....  

rm_creepnldy 41F
279 posts
4/11/2006 8:25 pm

Last Read:
5/7/2006 8:43 am

Longing for Nothing....

Why do I find myself longing for a more meaningful relationship when I don't think I could go through the pain of the relationship ending and don't really want to settle down with one person anyway?

I had another dream last night that I was indeed in a relationship, still with the nameless, faceless man I have dreamt about for years. Though I don't know what he looked like or anything about him, I know that he was my soulmate--physically, sexually, emotionally, mentally/intellectually, and in every other way. Yes, I do realize that this is just a dream and that my dream man doesn't actually exist. So, why do I find myself almost grieving for something I have never actually known and will never know? I think that deep down I do want to love someone completely--the kind of love that we always hear about but wonder if it could actually exist...the type of love where the two people spend their lives together and then literally cannot live without one another...the type of love in Kathy Mattea's song, "Where've You Been?" or in Nicholas Sparks' The Notebook.

Of course, I am not ready for a monogamous relationship yet but perhaps one day the right relationship could (possibility, not probability) morph into one. I have always preferred friends with benefits to one-night-stands or relationships, probably because I could have human interaction, get to know someone, and, sometimes, even love him wihout having to worry about having my heart broken. Maybe I am not really wanting a relationship at all, though if I do, it would have to be an open relationship, but maybe I am actually just grieving over friendships that I have lost that were just beginning to blossom.

_Safira 54F
11260 posts
4/11/2006 9:25 pm

We will definitely need to talk, Lady Black. (And thank you for your kind words regarding my blog. I look forward to your replies.) *gentle hugs* Safira

This is my blog - Comes With Warning Labels. There are many like it, but this one is mine.


rm_bIackcock 43M
1 post
4/11/2006 9:28 pm

You not alone, many people feel that way.,,,, You wrote almost how I felt word for word.

lexingtoncock 53M/51F

4/11/2006 9:30 pm

sounds to me that you are grieving for the loss of something intimate like someone to love you all the time, unconditionlly, are you from a broken home that maybe part of it. not wanting to get into a relationship is easy, but staying one is the hard part and like having kids you have to want it. If your not ready don't do it because it will cause you alot of heartache. and yes there are men out there like what you want it'll find you when you least expect it

insolentone2 38M

4/12/2006 7:28 am

Just fuck everyone you meet until you find the one you like the best.. then see if you can stand to be around him..

bigdaddie2955 63M

4/14/2006 12:20 pm

Well,,,,I have been married 2 times before I met my lover,and soulmate.We met online in a chat room,and then we chatted everyday for seems like ages.Then I decided to drive down for the first meeting.My lover was great,she has the qualities that would make all men jealous.We never fight or argue,and the sex!!!!!!! WOW the best sex I have ever experienced!But there is an age diffrence between us,I am 51 and she is 35,but this makes no diffrence as she makes me feel like I'm 30 again.We had sex last night,and it lasted for 8 hours straight.And we plan on another enterlude tonite,as every night is diffrent.Just keep looking,you will find your soul mate,and when you do,you will truly know it.

SirMounts 103M

4/23/2006 11:47 am

Hey, wuddayamean I don't exist??? *pinches self* Owch! ...See?
I knew I did. *winking*
Welcome to blogging, creepnldy. *smiling*

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