Why No Postings?  

rm_codismo1 51F
104 posts
11/3/2005 9:28 am

Last Read:
7/11/2009 8:49 am

Why No Postings?

OK.... I was recently asked why I hadn't posted in my blog for a while. Well, I must say it (a lot of us probably think it anyway)... I have to watch myelf with this site. It can become very addiciting! I enjoy MOST of the messages I receive. There realy are a lot of nice people out there that offer wonderful compliments. These compliments are so nice to read, so thank you all for those. The messages I do not like? The ones where I am offered sex up front. I mean, do I seriously appear to be a person that is going to jump into bed with just anyone? Come on! I am choosy, maybe too choosy. I can tell you right here and now, NO.... I am not the type of person to just jump into bed with some guy who thinks the picture of his cock is better then the next guys. There HAS to be a connection. Honestly, the connection is usually mental rather than physical - although physical is WONDERFUL. In all my months of being online and trying to meet guys this way, I have met 2 face-to-face (I won't mention from what site). I have received hundreds of messages and yet only 2 meetings in person (too picky hu?) lol - I have recently seen postings for local meetings and considered attending one. There is just this side of me that says "the lifestyle" is not right for me. We really don't have many choices though, the so called dating sites don't offer those of us with a strong interest in sex the opportunity to meet others who feel the same way or have the same drive. Those dating sites tend to be, well they tend to be "goody too shoes" (sp?). This "adult" site at least allows us to meet other adults that can be open about their desires. I know, now I sound hipacritical, I just do not like those straight forward messages that say how you (guys) think you can F*@& me till I can't take it anymore.... SORRY, I do not want to experience anything like that. I would much rather experience satisfying sex with a man that cums with me and then we melt together when we are satsified until we can begin again.

col975 50M
328 posts
11/3/2005 5:46 pm

Interesting subject on this blog. I would agree with you regarding the addictiveness of the site. I probalbly spend too much time on it when I could be doing other things.

I think your pickyness and your frustration is well documented, but I doubt there is an answer. My theroy is that why you get a bunch of cock shots is because how men and women approach this site.

First I have to say I am talking my opionion and not generalizing for the whole male species (got the disclamer out)

As you stated in your message, the site is defined as a adult site. Both parties know that the general end goal is sex (perhaps with a relationship) without the other scoring items (pets, religion, financial status). Now here comes the difference in how women and men approach sex

Women think of the feelings and the emotions with sex. It shows in your last sentence where you say "I would much rather experience satisfying sex with a man that cums with me and then we melt together when we are satsified until we can begin again." Not to be sterotypical but that is a females response. Generally a guy would never even say something like that (unless it was BS to get your guard down). Men talk about sex very general and not any details. Examples would be that I had sex with X person (now lets watch the football game). Sometimes we will expand it and say I want to have sex with X person (and her bisexual friend Y). Men would not go in the details of the act (just that we did it).

Now this gets to my cock shots. Since this site is an 'adult' site (defined above) a cock shot shows our manhood and how we might compete with others sexually. It is like a Peacock's feathers (they do the same thing). The picture you recieve of X cock is bigger than Y cock so men think you will automatically do X cock. And we also think that if you dont accept us, then we will go to another female and she might like the picture (and then sex will happen). Men dont genrally care for the emotional side of sex (just the physical side). If all the other stuff happens later, then more power.

The same can be said when a woman has a picture of her vagina posted. That is not going to make me say oh yea, I want to have her. Buy the time we are ready to go there, we have made a decision if you have the womanly charms or not.

I am not sure if this explained anything or I am just ranting along (but a interesting subject to respond to).

kencosprgs 62M

11/11/2005 6:56 pm

This is a rather alien world for me. I want to fit but I sometimes cringe at the "Dark SIde" of my soul. Guess I am here because of some inate loneliness. Sex is nice but one cannot bury those feeling with sex. Relationships are what life is about for me, strange from a two time divored man. I guess there is something in me that makes me continue to hope. I am a Romantic I still hope to find "True Love" like in the Princess Bride (Wesly and Buttercup). I guess I am immature in this regard or a dreamer but I have to dream. It is easy to hop into bed with someone one does not know but it is harder, for me anyway, not too. I guess it all comes down to what one wants in life. I am finding sex without a relationship is only an act. I have a diffacult time keeping "it" up when it is only sex. On the converse side with a relationship (even if only a friendship) makes it far more exciting and yes, meaningful. I enjoy your posts and blogs, Keep it up.

col975 50M
328 posts
11/12/2005 12:58 pm


I know I got a little crazy in providing my feedback (one of those evenings). I guess being on here a little while you start to notice the interactions. I know why I am on here have changed. Becuase I would have to admin at first I was looking for opportunities to engage in sex on here. But now I have become interested in the blogs. You get a insight into the person and have a way to interact with your mind. I have gone to M&G but I can be shy so I dont have the best time there. I am more of a one on one person and this is a way to get my thoughts out.

You have a great blog and keep up the good work. Nice pics also


michaelb22 59M

12/7/2005 3:10 pm

I know that for me personally I do not want sex without the emotional connection. That is what makes it fun and rewarding. They call it making love for a reason!! Thats what I enjoy, making love, making it a complete experience. Its all about the relationship, not just me or having a self based agenda. I do not want to ever look back and say, it was a bad deal, even if the relationship does not work.

thebossrules3 46M

1/13/2006 1:04 am

hey there. I don't live in CSprings but i visit here for work alot!

Interested in exchanging pics and/or chatting? I can be reached on AdultFriendFinder or since I am a standard member try me at AdultFriendFinder

BTW I'm in town right now (flying back 1/14). I'll most likely be at the Ritz or Southside Johnies Friday night.

fluffy966 39M
4 posts
1/27/2006 5:28 pm

Hey Codismo. I read your Blog about "real men in Colorado Springs." Quite Frankly, i'm a bit upset about it because I think you base your accusations and views from a single standpoint. Since i'm from Colorado Springs, I think I have the right to tell you that there are "REAL" men in the springs that you have yet to encounter. Try me if you still have doubts....you can leave a message on this site in my account or you can e me at AdultFriendFinder to discuss this later with you....have a great one.

rm_deuce1963222 54M
77 posts
1/29/2006 3:07 pm

You and I both know,that when there is a friendship and a respect for one another.The sex is so much more incredible,it gives you that feeling of security and trust.It makes for a wonderful time.You can talk for hours after sex,because you generally have something in common besides the sex.You deserve to be picky,and I compliment you for that.Great Blog,

greatsxyguy 57M

2/20/2006 3:19 am

You seem to be more genuine and honest than many people on this site... I like what you had to say in your last blog. You seem pretty grounded... that's cool. I'm pretty tired of the dating scene lately! I used to think I was pretty good at picking women, but lately I'm starting to wonder... LOL Take care and I hope you are finding or have found what you are looking for!!!! E

desertwolf75 43M

3/5/2006 10:42 am

I think that you are very attractive codismo, and you are right. There is nothing better than knowing the person very well, before, "jumping into the sack." I like to know what makes the woman tick that i'm with. My sexual drive is very strong, but sex on the first meeting is out of the question. I want to take my time to get to know the person first. I may do things that drive the person I have just met crazy and visa versa.

nice_fit69 53M

5/9/2006 7:22 pm

wow, i can definately see why you don't blog anymore. it sounds like you're either beseiged by "let's fuck now" or the patronizing type. i have to admit there is something about you i find very attractive, but its hard to define without talking more. i have only met 4 or 5 women through AdultFriendFinder so i think i can relate to your feelings on a connection being so important. i HATE sex with someone i have none with and won't waste my time or their's on any pursuit. anyway, just wanted to respond. thanks!

Studservice6978 39M
8 posts
6/5/2006 9:30 pm

Codismo - I think you should post more. However, please do not get upset when someone is soliciting sex. The tag line for AdultFriendFinder is "The world's largest SEX and SWINGER personals community." That says that everyone is here for sex, one way or another. How they go about it will be as unique as snowflakes (even though many solicitations look similar).

There is a FriendFinder site, for dating where the end result is not necessarily sex but a meaningful relationship. As much as my wife and i have enjoyed seeing you here, we have noticed that your focus seems to be nowhere near the focus of the rest of the site. Which is a little refreshing but also a little out of place. I really do hope you find what you are looking for.

Col975 has the right idea in his rant.

rm_hottub05 59M

10/22/2006 1:16 am

I enjoy sex as any guy would, but I do feel I get into it more and get more out of it if I have a connection(not just physical) with the one I am with. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but emotions being involved and being able to talk with someone after are important to me. I have had a few one night stands, but prefer the longer multiple meetings and using what was learned as to my partners more pleasureable areas to make things better each time. I also agree that the dating sites have too many people just looking for a mate and not a physical partner as well.

rm_InnerPeace07 30F
4565 posts
11/29/2006 8:01 pm

hey codis hunny...i agree with u completely! a lot of the things you say about yourself or how you feel about things totally rings a bell with my life...

and yes....i have only been here for about 2 months almost...it has become very addicting! i have a lot of fun too and could mos def agree that i could be doing other things!

anyways...have a good day hun. hope u can get a chance to just at least read our posts every now and then, even if you cant post yourself!



In a full heart there is room for everything. In an empty heart there is room for nothing.
Play 3 Word Story

rm_2know2much 59M

2/13/2007 9:48 am

I just want to say thanks for your comments. I'm new to this website (or even any site designed to meet people) and really don't want it to be "ALL" about sex; so I'm glad to not be alone with that feeling.
I haven't yet made any decisions as to what (if any) web sites I may want to be a part of, so your remarks have given me some things to think about.

tallitailn 53M

6/15/2007 5:22 pm

i was surprised to read what you had wrote and find you had pretty much expressed the reason i had joined this site. i think sometime you get so involved with work you run out of time to meet someone. i would like to meet someone to hang out with and go to dinner with. the sex part will always come once the connection has been made. well that is my two cents

rm_2Smart4U22 47M
1 post
9/3/2007 12:56 pm

Great points, all....

There is only so many ways to beat the proverbial 'dead horse' and everyone expressed it so well...but, I'm going to give it the 'ol college try' and see if I can add to what has already been said. Now I must admit that doing the 'search' thing online is kind of like trying to buy a new car....I mean...aren't we ALL initially attracted to the flashy new sports car that looks like sex on 4 wheels?? But, when you get a closer examination of that same vehicle or even buy the same vehicle...you find that the excitement of the looks wears off? (I'm sure that someone with a Ferrari, Mercedes or any other flashy sexy car..would tend to disagree with me and since I might not EVER own one...I'm just speaking for the regular guy/girl...but, I digress...) It's kind of the same way with online 'dating', so to speak. I've been lucky enough to date some women who look GREAT....but, couldn't hold a conversation if their life depended on it. So there goes the intellectual/emotional attraction...and what are you left with....Looks.

Now, I believe that sex is physical AND a emotional experience. It is best only when both requirements have been met. Now, I am a guy...I did attend/graduate from college...and I've stayed at a Holiday Inn Express a couple of times...I've HAD the meaningless sex and it always left me feeling empty....relaxed...but empty. But as I've gotten older I've learned to appreciate a woman who can stimulate me mentally and not just physically.

And there is my take on it...

rm_blackdickrob 46M

10/30/2007 12:43 am

Well all i can say is this its still your choice whether ya have sex or not. I'm new to this but I'm going into it like i wanna meet new and interseting people and if sex's apart of it, then it is what it is. You should always have control of what ya want.Keep that in mind when ya do what ya do on here.

rm_Wildwilli183 58M

11/3/2007 10:15 am

While checking out the members on this site, I am CONSTANTLY amazed at the number of women over 30 who are absolute dolls ! Generally speaking, the ladies here do take MUCH better care of themselves than the men do. And then I see your pictures.........whatever it is you're doing, keep it up ! I always love just looking at the light in your eyes and your smile, your hair.....wow, I'm starting to sound like a 15-year old with a crush. I'm also in agreement about everyone on this blog who want the physical as well as the emotional connection. Yo DO have the power over us silly males.......

bicuriouscplincs 48M/48F  
15 posts
12/22/2007 8:03 pm

Codismo, I can understand the frustration but also see the other side. Having said that I have to agree jumping straight to cock shots and talking about sex is tacky and not something I do. this is for two reasons.
1)Not because I am looking for a LTR but because it lacks class
2) I realize that like training for professional level competition good sex is about 80% mental and only 20% physical. Lets face it I doubt I am unique when I say some of the worst sex in my life has been with physically attractive/mentally shallow people and some of the best has been with the opposite.
I would also offer an apology if the letter I sent you seemed offensive---I keep my first letter short ok maybe abrupt would be a better description, as a courtesy---I don't want to waste someones time writing a 3 page letter to have them look at my profile and go yuck.
Anyways, thanks for the interesting reads on your blogs I hope to see more. Keep your head up---stick to your guns and don't let the bastards get to ya.

rm_lovecoman 55M
2 posts
12/28/2007 4:07 pm

Codismo, I think you verbalized what all of us think and feel. When we dont have any for a while, thats all we can think of... Then we start asking ourselves, "what is it I really want out of life?" That is where the cookie meets the milk! Keep blogging, I like your perspective on the world! If I wasnt so far up north I would try to interest you in a meet and greet with an exchange of mind meldings, but I dont get down that way often. but then if you like to travel... Talk to me or google me damn etwork , but not always at work.

non corobundum illegitimus!

resp20 58M

4/10/2008 8:55 pm

right on

outthereonit 58M

7/6/2008 10:00 am

I spend WAAAAY too much time on the site. One problem with the "sex now" scenario is that I usually travel quite a distance for a date. So to build a kind of trust and take the time to find out about someone is quite an investment in time. I've had four dates in about a year through online dating sites. Only one was with AdultFriendFinder. Only one date was a "first nighter" and that was through Match.. not AdultFriendFinder. The date I had on AdultFriendFinder was pleasant. Dinner, a little kissing and I haven't hear from her since. I think it's just a chance you have to take to meet someone you want to spend more time with.

outthereonit 58M

3/24/2009 9:35 pm

I've actually had more "successful" relationships on other "goody two shoes" dating sites. As I have offered many times before, I'd love to meet you and spend some time with you but your "pickyness" has prevailed. I'm patient and will calmly wait for the day when you say, yes lets have dinner.

mdk_7691 50M

6/29/2009 2:46 pm

"I would much rather experience satisfying sex with a man that cums with me and then we melt together when we are satsified until we can begin again."
Hm, sounds very fimiliar.
Read my profile.

rm_Lakedeck 49M

9/25/2009 3:23 am

I would enjoy this with you

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