Not discussing it  

rm_cockmerollme 46F
1607 posts
5/26/2006 11:01 pm

Last Read:
6/10/2006 3:45 pm

Not discussing it

Rented my car today.

Oh, I just want to see my mom. And sister. And brother. And Da. And Brian. And Rob. And all them idiots I left behind.

3 days...three days...

Already starting to feel crampy. I should get my period just in time to hit the beach.

Fucking perfect.

I need the roadtrip. I need the distance between me and what I can't deliver for people anymore, you know?

And I've decided that the *Age of Sportfucking*
for me has come to an end.

I'm not sleeping with anyone I don't know anymore. That's over. Those days are gone.

Like, know know. You know?

I'm just not getting anything out of putting my pussy on the line everytime I just happen to fall down with my legs open.

I want to fuck towards something. For something. I've fucked for fuck's sake for a while now..and I'm just done.

Done done done.

I have a list of what I want, and I believe I deserve every one of them...

I'm not being true to myself. I want to be in something with someone.


I want love. love love love love love love love.
It's so weird to see the word "love" on here without seeing the words "shaved snatch" after it.

I want a big loud love. That's there on a Tuesday at 3pm or Halloween night. All the time. I'm so affectionate and touchy. I just want to put all that on one guy now.
One guy who knows how lucky he is to have me.
I'm a spoiler.

Let's face it, I am outstanding.

And I just feel like I'm pouring good love after bad on

1) Guys who don't love me back and want to be friends

2) Guys who want the "no strings attached" contract, who really have nothing in common with me, except they also like to fuck.

Why all this drama now?

My sister is having another baby, and I know I never will. I never thought about kids and family, and now, it's too late. I'm poor, sick, single,and I forgot to grow up.

My little brother is getting married, and the thought of having to go to a family wedding without a significant other..really...pass the zoloft, please..don't forget the Whisky chaser.

I fooled around with someone whom I had no buisness fooling around with. .
I'm not down with O.P.P....but I guess I did that night. Way, way tacky.

Saw my steady lay in the street with the girlfriend he started dating. And he hasn't called me to arrange a screw in ages.
So I guess she took.
So after 3.5 years of his dick in my mouth...he takes this other girl out in public. But not me. Wow..I guess I was a huge embarrassment to him, right?
I so deserve that burn, because it's not like the Army. You can quit fucking someone at anytime..right?


I'm so much better than what I am giving myself.

I have to believe that
I have to believe that even if it's not all true

I still have to get up for work tomorrow.
I still have to drive home next week...
I still have to breathe
You know?


rm_agathon12 47M
1311 posts
5/26/2006 11:32 pm

You weren't an embarassment. He was an idiot not to recognize the difference between your diamonds and her cubic zirconia. It's not your fault; it's his.

SleekIcilyVarix 42M

5/27/2006 12:13 am

Knowing what you really want is half way to getting it. I don't know you , but it sounds like you're being hard on yourself when you say "I have to believe that even if it's not at all true." You deserve to love and be loved in return, just like everyone else. Yes, believe it. Someday you'll find the Right Guy who is there all time, including the next time you're out and you see 3.5 yrs guy and he sees you with The One and wonders what the hell he was thinking.

sexloverocknroll 58M
415 posts
5/27/2006 5:09 am

Ya, I know. You will be taking a road less traveled and it will not be easy. Just stay true to yourself and truth will follow.

LaVadaLicious 55F  
2770 posts
5/27/2006 7:10 am

Its hard to be alone when everyone you know is doing the getting married/baby thing... Don't be so hard on yourself. Just remember when your not looking, it is quite amazing what you will find. Just do a little pampering of yourself for a while and let everyone else wonder what your up to instead.

Stop in and Sign The Guest Book


skyking412004 55M
5363 posts
5/27/2006 9:41 am

_____I've had my heart broken before, but never by a sledgehammer as big as the one that you got hit with. I was stunned. Felt the energy drain from me, for a moment. I hope it found it's way to you; to help you heal.

dreamkitty63 48F

5/27/2006 3:22 pm

You are absolutely right, you do deserve 'all of that' and more. I am kind of in the same situation right now, i have been fucking for fucks sake and while it was fun for awhile, it loses its luster after awhile.It is easy for me to sit here and say his loss, and it is really.... but i also know it hurts. Hang in there,there are men out there who have the balls to admit what they really want and like.

rm_art_persists 53M
1789 posts
5/27/2006 7:09 pm

It's funny how people can't love when having sex. Shouldn't the two be intertwined even when on a one night stand????

letsgrababeer 38M

5/28/2006 9:59 am

its true that you find it only when you arent looking for it. but by this post, it almost as if you've got the magnifying glass and sherlock holmes hat out. you cant go into something saying "this is who i'm gonna settle down with" because no one knows that until you get to know each other. there's nothing wrong with not wanting to fuck for fuck's sake, but also being a prude can have its downside as well. once you're happy with your own situation, then others will notice it and be happy that they aren't trying to get with someone who is pacing their own relationships based on the others around them. it may sound cliche, but just be yourself and once you're happy with that, things will fall into place.

rm_cockmerollme 46F
1223 posts
5/28/2006 5:50 pm

Beerguy- I am so happy with's my choices I'm not happy with. I'm, what's wrong with wanting the person I fuck to know just how wonderful I am too?

I'm just tired of being a dirty little secret, you know? If I'm good enough to swallow, I'm good enough to take to a goddamn movie, you know?

And..I have to has been years...YEARS! since anyone has called me a prude. Thank you.

And the friend of mine I fucked last night thanks you too!!!


rm_benoben3333 42M
1 post
5/28/2006 8:31 pm

Life seems tough on some people. To me, It depends on how you see it.

rm_cockmerollme 46F
1223 posts
6/4/2006 9:11 am

Please. My life is not tough. Tough is working in a coal mine to support your family, or putting out oil rigg fires.

I'm just making poor decisions in my life.


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