inquiring minds want to know...  

rm_bucfannn 62M/61F
1805 posts
4/9/2006 12:15 am

Last Read:
5/28/2006 7:46 am

inquiring minds want to know...

A few posts, or so, back, I mentioned how shy I really am. I wish I could change that. I can't. It's part of my dilemma, but, I digress...

So tell me... how do you "make the first move"? Someone obviously unobtainable, but, you still want to try, (maybe).

Are you afraid to give it a whirl, knowing your feelings aren't reciprocated? That you will feel inadequate? Or, even stupid?

Of course, no one likes to feel rejected. It's definitely not a pleasant feeling. Should you risk a "budding" friendship by asking for more?

brute472 75M
3480 posts
4/9/2006 1:38 am

If you don't make an approach then you will never know what you have missed out on

8337 posts
4/9/2006 1:51 am

Putting yourself out there and risking possible rejection is part of this game, carebear.

It's the price for the pleasure.

Ask for more, extend your paw with true intentions and you can never be wrong.

Bare/Bear your soul.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

oldude1946 72M

4/9/2006 5:20 am

You need to go for it, shy or not, don't make your mind wonder later down the road.

After talking to you all this time that we have been friends, I say this. Don't ever feel inadequate or stupid, you know in your own heart your not these things.

AltumHunksUnite 54M

4/9/2006 5:55 am

You never know until you try, and if the person in question is truly a friend, then he'll still be your friend if he doesn't return your advances.

Let me drive. I like the view

lifes2short069 50M
138 posts
4/9/2006 9:02 am

Blinks and smile widely -

always strive to make yourself happy.

life2short.. never say down the road, woulda-coulda-shoulda

l8r my friend L2S

softnlush 54F

4/9/2006 2:11 pm

ummmm...I am not sure what to answer at this point and you know why *sighs*..but I am glad that I at least tried..ya know


Tone_33756 56M

4/10/2006 9:41 am

I firmly believe that you HAVE to confront your fears as an adult.

I use to have several - all confronted - all conquered.

If you really feel something for someone, just let them know, one way or another.

You won't die if it all goes to hell.

Risks have to be taken in life - especially in the world of love and relationships.

rm_MisterFrumpy 47M
428 posts
4/10/2006 11:09 am

just like they said in Risky Business' "sometimes you just gotta say 'what the fuck?'"

Its a hard thing to grasp and i suffer from it too but sometimes getting what you want is scary but if you want it bad enough, you gotta do it.

fantasylover_05 63M

4/12/2006 9:09 am

My Dear bucfann

Sorry I am just getting around to responding to this a bit delayed!

To be truthful... I am somewhat shy in person as well... and in the past I have been EXTREMELY shy with the opposite sex.... in a "business situation" I am fine as I am very confident in my business sense.. but it is a very different story when it comes to women in a social situation and even more so in a sexual situation!!

I know you may find this hard to believe.. but it absolutely TRUE!!

Here in Blogland I can be much more forward as there is some inherent anonymity here.. but face to face... yikes!

I will also tell you I have been with very few women in real life and a couple times they told me after that they thought I was not interested because I was so damn shy!

However.. I have gotten better with a little more experience....

I am a person that is not afraid to risk in order to go after what I want.... I am very persistent... I have learned over the years (many many years LO that NOTHING comes to you... you MUST go after what you want... sooooo my advice


Rejection (if it happens... and you are lovely woman and I can't imagine you being rejected) only hurts for a while.. and the shoulda woulda coulda will hurt FOREVER!!

damn the tropedos.. full speed ahead!!!

worknplay67 47M

4/15/2006 4:02 am

I know the feeling of "should it be a good friend, more, or will I ruin all of it by asking for more", which is a difficult situation but just follow your heart!
If you have problems to make the first move you can try this: Become during the conversations much more "touchy" with the person, close talker to his face when you tell him something in trust (maybe whisper it in his ear and your lips "accidentally" touch his ear), hit him gently on his legs with your open hand - may rub it a bit when he makes a joke and you are laughing hard together...
If the guy would be me, the signals would tell me you are interested and ready for more but want me to make the first move...
Try it sometimes and let me know if it worked.

Become a member to create a blog