Is there an instruction manual?  

rm_bucfannn 62M/61F
1805 posts
6/23/2006 12:43 pm

Last Read:
4/29/2009 4:18 pm

Is there an instruction manual?

'Cause, I really think I need to look one over. I believe I am somewhat retarded, (noooooooooooooo, not in THAT way, sheesh), because I have no clue how to flirt.

Yeah, that's right.


I just can't do it. I tried a few times, and trust me, the result was frickin' hilarious. I think I ended up looking like one of those deluded blue eyed sheep, from the Simmons mattress commercials.

I tried batting my eyelashes, and ended up with a rip-roaring headache. I even went as far as the infamous hair flip with giggle (*gag* ), and barely made it through without a major whiplash.

Ok, so let's look at the word flirt. There are two ways it's used.

One is a noun: 1. A seductive woman who uses her sex appeal to exploit men 2. Playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest

The other is a verb: 1. Talk or behave amorously, without serious intentions 2. Behave carelessly or indifferently

So, ok. I'm not out to exploit. Uhhhhh... at least I don't start out that way, so, we can scratch that meaning. But, the second noun? Yeah, that's what I am talkin' about. Arousing sexual interest. Damn skippy.

Now, I'm pretty straight forward. Well, most of the time I am. I can be quite shy in certain situations, and that can put a damper on any flirting, (or rather a semblance of flirting), I can try. But, seriously, I'm a WYSIWYG kind of person. Up front. Outspoken. Truthful. I don't like drama, and I certainly don't like games.

So, with that said... I view flirting as a game. Well, maybe not a game, per se, but, more of a dance. I've seen it done repeatedly, and done well. I mean, the "applauding" kind of done well. It seems almost choreographed. And, I am not talking great looking women here either. But, they can get that "come hither" look, and have a flock of males swarming around. And that's when it gets turned up a notch. Being vivacious. The flipping of the hair. The seductive giggle. (by the way, if you couldn't tell, giggling makes me want to puke.)

I don't fricking get it. It's easy enough to flirt with the written word. I guess I do it. I'm not sure. I actually write like I talk, so, maybe I don't flirt even in prose.

I have a huskier tone to my voice, and my laugh is more of a deep chuckle, unless I am actually cracking up. Is that sufficent enough? Or, does a husky deeper voice sound stoooopid? Should I practice having a phone sex voice? Would that do it?

And my eyes. They are a light blue/gray, but darken considerably when I am intense. And, the intensity can take on different forms. Happy, sad, turned on, pissed off... My stare has been described as deep, like I can look into another's soul. Too intimidating perhaps?

Cripes almighty. Help me here. I am in such a quandary... but, I can tell you right quick - I refuse to bat my eyelashes, and I will NEVER flip my hair and giggle. I'll leave that to the twenty-somethings.............

I also wanted to tell you, one of the synonyms of the word flirt is "prickteaser". Heh Heh.

somethingelse40 76M
14676 posts
6/23/2006 12:52 pm

"If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly."

rm_bucfannn replies on 6/25/2006 6:35 am:
nah uh. I refuse to stoop that low as to flirt. I'm witty enough as it is

rm_5Hawkeye6 62M

6/23/2006 2:42 pm


Without having met you in person, I can't comment on your body language, but I can tell you that you definitely have the rest of the seduction skills in your repertoire. You have all the right equipment, and whether or not you realize it, you use it very successfully.


rm_bucfannn replies on 6/25/2006 6:35 am:
Thanks, B. Not that I try, cause if i did, I'd muck that up, too...

oldude1946 72M

6/23/2006 3:32 pm

Damn, I don't care if they flirt with me, I just want them to show up

rm_bucfannn replies on 6/25/2006 6:39 am:
I'm with you, babyyyyyyyyyyyyy

rm_jami95 67M
69 posts
6/23/2006 3:48 pm

LOLOL... well... I am happy you don't giggle but the rest of it is insecurities .... the only thing you have to do is..... Be You... everything else is pointless have no reason to need to be anyone else....

rm_jami95 67M
69 posts
6/23/2006 3:58 pm

LOLOL... well, I am happy you don't giggle but the rest of it is
insecurities .... the only thing you need to do is..... Be You !.....
everything else is pointless have no reason to try to be someone else ....

rm_jami95 67M
69 posts
6/23/2006 4:06 pm

LOLL... well, I am happy you don't giggle but the rest of it is insecurities. The only thing you have to do is..... Be You !... Everything else is pointless. You have no reason to need to be anyone else....

rm_bucfannn replies on 6/25/2006 6:40 am:
J... you really wanted to get your point across, eh?

Heh heh.

As you are well aware, firsthand, I am me. Pure and simple. To try to be something I am not, goes against the grain. But, I'd like to try, just once, to bat my baby blues at someone...

Oh wait. Didn't I try that with you? Did it work?

brute472 75M
3480 posts
6/23/2006 5:03 pm

    Quoting rm_5Hawkeye6:

    Without having met you in person, I can't comment on your body language, but I can tell you that you definitely have the rest of the seduction skills in your repertoire. You have all the right equipment, and whether or not you realize it, you use it very successfully.

I certainly have to agree with the above anyone that looks and writes like you has no need for the frothy flirting that is needed by those with no self confidence.

rm_bucfannn replies on 6/25/2006 6:41 am:
Thank you sweetie. Funny thing is... I DON'T try...

rm_5Hawkeye6 62M

6/23/2006 5:45 pm


This one's kept me thinking for a while, so I have a further comment.

That whole 'dance of love / game-playing thing' is what makes falling for someone fun and interesting, but it's not what makes it meaningful. It's what two people do with each other to entertain themselves - that's all it should be, in my opinion. It has to continue, too, for the relationship to be inspiring to each of the people involved, so in that sense, it's very important.

Relationships need to be an outlet and a secure place for both members to retreat to, to kind of 're-create' themselves on a regular basis. Being flirtatious is a big part of that interaction.

The meaningfulness comes from the mutual respect that the members of the relationship have for one another, but the emotional 'fire' needs to be stoked all of the time as well.

Sorry for the rambling lecture. It's Friday and Sam Adams & I had a date this afternoon.


rm_bucfannn replies on 6/25/2006 6:48 am:
Perhaps my way of flirting is in playful banter. I guess.

Once in a relationship, there are things that happen unconsciously. And, those are the ties that bind, so to speak. You CAN flirt with your mate. It sort of takes on a whole new meaning, when you are deadly serious, as opposed to being coy and "cutesy". THAT'S the stuff that keeps relationships alive and full of spark. A certain look can mean, "ok, studly, take me now", and it's a charged atmosphere. And, generally speaking, that's NOT what happens in a casual relationship. It takes time to get to the next level, whether it be flirting, or playing.... It's a dance. You start as a fledgling, and wind up a full-blown ballroom dancer... at least, that's my take on it.

tut1117 73M  
452 posts
6/24/2006 4:55 am

Hey, bucfannn, I think the first definition under verb is the way I see flirting. I can't imagine that you, of all people, would have trouble with this skill. You have such a good command of your verbage, as exhibited by your blogs. I agree with some of the previous comments that you must just have a lack of confidence when you decide you want to "flirt" with someone. Just being yourself and having a "leading you on" kind of conversation. I think it is like game playing if you don't intend for it to go anywhere when you are finished. Example: the blog about going to the beach and the darn top that would stay up and the construction workers, that would be flirting with the construction workers, 'cause you didn't intend on taking any of them home, at least I didn't read it thinking you were trying to find someone. Oh well, this is my two cents worth on this topic. Still waiting longingly on the photo of you and your black dress.

rm_bucfannn replies on 6/25/2006 6:55 am:
Written prose is one thing, Tut. I'm not insecure, per se, but, I find the whole thing pretty well.... well, icky.

I guess body language could also be construed as a "flirting style". That I can do But, verbalize? Uh, no. Can't do it. I think I'd sound more demented than I truly am...

8337 posts
6/24/2006 11:41 am

Some people can flirt, others can't pull it off.

Flirting is not in my nature.

I don't play games like that because it serves no purpose for me.

If I want a women, I go after flirting involved.

I never understood why women flirt so much, esp if there's no intent involved.

Too me that's a bit pretentious and disingenuous.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

rm_bucfannn replies on 6/25/2006 6:56 am:
You're right, Div. It's a waste of time. The thrill of the chase is one thing, but, the actual "snatch and grab" is more fun

And, yeah, I despise games/gamers. But, obviously, some do like it, or it wouldn't keep going on.......

LookandWink 64M

6/25/2006 1:15 am

I sat with you for the better part of an hour at the last M&G. I found you charming, sexy, smart, and witty. Your voice was sensual without being fake. (I like it! ) I also noticed that when people you liked came by your face lit up a little and you gave then a sweet, wonderful smile. (I would bet that you didn't notice that I was watching you! ... not stalking mind you, just watching ... I do that in large crowds) So, don't worry about trying to flirt, just be your natural, charming self and when you want to flirt, just give them that lovely smile. If that doesn't arouse them, they're brain-dead.

rm_bucfannn replies on 6/25/2006 6:58 am:
You're sweet. But now, I'm gonna be watching myself

Glad you could make it out to Rudy's. TASA is a fun crowd for the most part, wouldn't you say?

rm_jami95 67M
69 posts
6/25/2006 10:06 pm

LOLOL... did it work?...yeah ... then and now....

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