If Men Wrote Advice Columns  

rm_bluegenes51 57M
115 posts
4/10/2005 7:59 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

If Men Wrote Advice Columns

**** This is NOT original ****

Q: My husband wants a three sum with my best friend and me.

A: Obviuously, your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you, he can only settle for the next best thing, your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your college roomates involved, too. If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you are still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it. Semen helps you loose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by perfroming oral sex on him twice a day; then cook him a nice meal.

Q; My husband spends too many night out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behavior and should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young, single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing atmosphere at home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being gone for a day or two(it's a great time to clean the house, too!). Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to when he returns home is for you and your friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband does not know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband.
If you must mess with it do it on your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to video tape this and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your husband as much as you should; he should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.

Q: My husband always has an orgasm and then rolls over and goes to sleep.

A: I am not sure that I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

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