news... or not  

rm_avezes2004 49M
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7/26/2006 8:49 am

Last Read:
7/27/2006 1:38 pm

news... or not


Outsourcing Hits the Pentagon
As reported by David Dominick

In a recent press conference, Press Secretary Scott McClellan announced that, after careful consideration, the Pentagon and all of its duties would be outsourced over seas.

A recent rash of off shoring, the practice of sending jobs overseas to save money has hit almost every area of the American economy. This recent move, however, is the first time that a whole government agency has been sent off shore. Figures show that over 225 billion dollars could be saved annually with this one action.

2 Companies were in the running for the contract: Halliburton and AlQueda. McClellan said that when it all came down to it, “AlQueda just ran a more efficient proposal. “

According to McClellan, “no Americans would lose their jobs in this move…[people] would be relocated to other lacking areas of the government.”

Senator Joe Biden from Delaware was quoted as saying, “what the f*ck? I knew George was on drugs but this is insane.” Later he retracted that statement and said, “I apologize for my earlier comments that were taken totally out of context. I disagree with this action was the jist of what I was trying to say… oh screw it.”

In their first act as the decision makers for the Pentagon, AlQueda has ordered a full withdrawal of all troops from Afghanistan. Spokes person Mr. Bin Laden stated, “The removal of troops from Afghanistan will allow us to focus on targets of greater concern.”

When asked what these targets were, Mr. Bin Laden merely said, “I cannot comment on matters of jihad, I mean National Security.”

President George Bush has come out in support of the new pentagon stating, “Mr. Bin Laden has my full confidence.”

When asked about security concerns over the new ownership of the Pentagon, President Bush responded, “"I don't understand why it's OK for a American company to operate our military but not a company from the Middle East when we've already determined security is no longer an issue,"

Upon hearing rumors that congress would try to block AlQueda from continuing to run the Pentagon, President Bush declared, “I will VETO any bill that attempts to hold up operations of AlQueda in the Pentagon.”

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