OH! Sweet Relief! ????  

rm_annloo 39F
76 posts
5/7/2005 12:00 am

Last Read:
5/15/2007 10:10 pm

OH! Sweet Relief! ????

Hmmmm.... Well..... I've done something against my norm.......
Met someone tonight for something I knew would only be a one night stand.....
Wow..... I was about to explode though. Really. I was... I might have. I won't know now.... LOL

However I feel a bit of guilt right now..... Oh well.... This just wasn't my style.... and it really wasn't amazing or anything... just average.

Hmmm.... more and more I'm really thinking AdultFriendFinder might not be for me anymore. Well... I guess I just want something more than I think I'll ever be able to find here.

Who knows. There is still someone I would really love to meet before I call it quits....
( Apparently he reads my blog too.... you think he knows I'm talking about him? )
But yes.... I'll definately meet him.... after that...... I might have to leave.... or at least be *SERIOUSLY* selective......

I quit smoking about a month ago.... and if I can give up smokes.... I can give up casual sex can't I? I think so. Well. Hmm. We'll see. Lol.

I said it before and I'll say it again. I want something steady in my life. Even if it isn't a relationship. At least a steady "friend".....

Hmm.... Am I overthinking this? Or does anyone else here go through this?

Ya know. I got this email the other day from some guy telling me that when I'm ready to settle down one day, I'll never be able to find a man who will want to make a lifelong commitment to me because of my "past"... and he is on AdultFriendFinder..... looking for some hot young ass. Apparently his wife had some fun before she met him and he found out long after they were married and now feels seriously jilted and wants to cheat on her to make himself feel better....
The mail just kinda pissed me off.... For starters.... He had the gall to say "it might not because of your weight or looks...." Yeah FUCK YOU!
Then after that he had to single me out and tell me how undesirable I have made myself.
Well d00d. If you're reading this.... YOU SUCK! As you said "cry me a river" Yeah cry ME a river. I'm sorry you're so insecure that you can't realize that your wife might not have "settled" for you. And that maybe she just finally found someone she loves and wants to give her heart and soul to for life..... That's your damage man.... And maybe you don't deserve HER!
All I know is that when I find the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.... My past... his past... none of it will matter.... because living in the past prevents you from creating a future. We will be together to make a future... a life together as one.... not to rehash our past.
Finally.... I have no regrets....
There may be things I have done in my life that I may not be proud of.... and things that may have been bad decisions.... sexually or not...
But.... regret only breeds self-contempt....
My past has educated me.... and more than that... My past... all my cumulative life experiences have made me who I am today and I love me. Failures, achievements, faults and postives..... They are all me... no games... no hiding. Love me or hate me. What I feel for me is all that counts.
So Mr. Wife Hater that wrote to me..... I feel sorry for you. Yes.. your wife should have been up front with you years ago. She did disguise her past and that was wrong, but, learn to play with the hand you've been dealt. When you learn to love yourself, life will be so much better for you.

WOO! Sorry about the rambling. Just been feeling a bit emotional lately. Not to metion I've been fueled with a few BudLights tonight. The truth serum of champions! (lmfao)
I need to go to bed! Good night!

hiplovemonkey 53M
1 post
5/11/2005 11:06 am

First blog I've ever read. I know the feeling you're having. I would like a rock solid friend as well. Maybe that's what we should be. You never know.

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