Just Swingin  

rm_almostrare 56M
10 posts
7/25/2006 9:34 am

Last Read:
7/25/2006 10:08 pm

Just Swingin

As a kid, swinging was about as easy as rocking back and forth and pumping your legs a little. These are good skills to have as an adult swinger too, but there are so many more complications! The average person can't just run up to the playground and start swinging. Sure some of those body beautiful types can pull that off today, and more power to them, but I thought I would ramble on about some of the frustrations of the swing-site playground for the rest of us, and hopefully put some of it in a less frustrating perspective.

There are all kinds of people on a site like AdultFriendFinder. If you have been around for over a month, you may have experienced them all. Just remember there is SOME reason that each of them have placed an ad. Personally I 'wonder' about the gals who are seeking their 'soul-mate'. Don't get me wrong, I have read about the "success" stories, and I wish them all luck because I really do think there is someone for everyone (everyone who wants someone, that is). I just hope they don't have all their eggs in this basket!

I can already see that I am running out of space and I haven't even gotten started, so I will try to focus on a few of the common 'types'...

A whole lotta talk without any action: You know them, they just want to see how you decorate the kitchen with no intention of buying the house! I think there is a certain 'thrill' for some people just talking about having an affair. Not necessarily even cyber sex, just sort of throwing a hook in the water and getting a "rush" when the bobber dips. Don't be too hard on these folks, sure if they ever get a fish on the line, they are likely to reach for the scissors, but everyone has to start somewhere! If you are the type who jumps out of the water and spits in their face, you might ruin the whole experience for them. Relax! Once you have identified them, swim around for a while, let them enjoy their first catch, then go find another hook. One of these times they might actually reel in a big one!

If you are saying "I don't have time for games..." think about it, none of us that are 'serious' do, but this doesn't have to be entirely about YOUR pleasure! (I hope you are more patient in bed than that!) Being nice to one person doesn't take much more time than being an ass-hole unless you are just so out of practice at it! Besides, it's not like you have to stop talking to everyone else just because one person responded to your ad!

Which brings me to the next "type"...

The Shellfish: "It's all about me dammit!" These can usually be found lying underneath single line emails. You know the ones... "Hey baby, wanna do it?" or the tempting "I need to drop a load, wanna help?" If you identify one of these while your "shopping", I hope I don't have to tell you that you can do better! The funny thing about this section is that many guys would love to get a one-liner email! I admit I have been with a few very selfish women, I just ate them up! (they loved it!) Oh well, it takes all kinds!

Meet the Vaguers: You can always tell someone who has been around for more than one rodeo. Their ad gets a little more specific with time. This is good. Sometimes I respond to a vague ad that looks interesting but I get bawled out because they wouldn't consider a married man! Easy Tiger! At least my ad puts it out there! I am perfectly ok with the fact that some women have issues with that subject... my advice is to SAY SO! If your ad says NO MARRIED MEN then you won't hear from me (some of you other married guys should take the hint as easily, from what I hear!) Once again, some folks don't know to be specific the first time out, so try not to be offended when they are offended! Try to nicely suggest to them that they should include this little morsel in their ad, then apologize for the misunderstanding, and move on!

I know that I have barely scratched the surface, but I can see the sun starting to set just over that attention span horizon so I will call it a day.

Some folks will, no doubt, think that this is all too soft-serve vanilla. I know some of you gals like the bad boy types whose idea of sweet talk is "open up those legs honey" and that's cool, and I hope for both of your sakes that you take his advice, but I like to think that most of us are looking for a little mental stimulation to compliment the physical exhilaration.

As frustrating a place as a swing-site might be, if you can be patient and a little bit tolerant then just like that old swing-set, once you have the rhythm, there might just be two highs for every low.

Keep Swinging


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