yeah... name calling. That works well.  

rm_abutoo2 45M
708 posts
8/23/2006 4:51 pm

Last Read:
9/19/2006 8:55 pm

yeah... name calling. That works well.

You ever break up with someone and have them call you every foul name in the book? Not only have I had that happened, I've done it too. And meant what I said at the time.
Have you ever had a falling out with a friend said every snide thing you could think to say to someone else about them? Or to them? Or to yourself only?
I have. And I've had it happen to me as well.
Hell, we're human right.
I don't name call anymore, unless it's in jest to a buddy or something. It's ok to call a buddy a bitch, or a fucker, or an asshole... he'll do it to me too. He knows there isn't any offense intended. When we say that to a buddy, as a guy, what we're really saying is "good one man, got me that time, let's see you try it again."
How about to a person that was once your friend. Did they stab you in the back and take something away from you? Even if it was just your pride and ego that they took. Or, in the case of a significant other, a best friend. Or how about your current spouse or live in? Do you name call them at all? Let me tell you why I don't call people names.
I hurt a girls feelings once at work. I called her a "stupid bitch" to a co-worker. Well, that got back to her and I tell y'all... It really hurt her feelings pretty bad. Hell, she wasn't very attractive, wasn't very educated. And to hear that, well that really fucked her up ya know. I felt bad. I felt so bad that my apology to her was that I would do my best to not EVER call any woman a bitch again. Now, that was a few years ago. Maybe 3 of em. And since that time I've tried to not call anyone a name in anger.
The reason I'm writing this is because of the "sexy bitch."

Ok, ok... now you're saying "whoah guy... you called her a bitch."

That's right, I did. Not only did I call her a "sexy bitch." But I did it while I was fucking her. I called her that because all of my frustration about not being able to turn her away from my door finally manifested itself. And as her and I were in one of the most intense fuckin' sessions we've ever had it came out. I growled it out...
"ggrrrrryyyyooouuuuu fffffuuucckkkkinnnggggsseeeeexxxxyybbbbiiiitccch!"What did she do? She laughed y'all. So, she's forever gonna be called in my mind, "the sexy bitch." For that was what she was to me.
Well, it seems that she can't talk to me without cussing me and calling me names.
Here's what I learned about name calling when we first split up.
I was heartbroke, angry, lonely, scared, and.... frustrated. I wanted to call her names and say shit to her like she was sayin' them to me. Hurtful shit that'l stay with a guy for years, that's what she was saying. Telling my shit like "your son deserves better in a father." Need I say more?
Well, when I was in the mood to call her all of the names I could think of. Bitch, whore, cunt, fucking slut, nogoodpoorwhitetrashbitch... fucking worthless fucking family... sister's are all crap... blah blah blah... y'all know, you've been there.
I kept it inside rather than spew it. For, at this time I learned something about name calling. We've always been told that it hurts us more to talk like that about people. Well, it does. Especially in the eyes of the people we talk to.
Had I given in to the urge to cuss her like that (except to my dearest closest friends who understood what I was feeling) what would that have said about ME.
That's right, what kind of reflection is that on me? I mean... I picked her, I lived with her, I said I loved her. So, I'm gonna go telling people that I picked a woman that was all those things? No, hell no! I didn't throw away a year for a woman that was those things. I didn't waste anything and I damn sure wasn't going to go telling people that I was such a low life as to pick a woman that LOW. Let's face it, calling her those names, if they were true, is very insulting to most people.
To me they bring up the worst images possible of the lowest class of folk there is. Did I really wanna go around and tell people that THAT was the kind of WOMAN I lived with? HELL NO! So, instead, I do my best not to cuss her, and not to say hateful shit. Not just to spare her feelings, but to spare myself the shame of being seen by the community as:
A) a low life that runs around people that LOW...
the type of guy that could say stuff like that.

If it's not true don't say it, and if it is true... well there are only a few people enough that are asshole's enough to be openly called an asshole.

I always hold to this standard when dealing with women. With men, I slip from time to time and say shit I shouldn't. I guess in my mind I see them as men and we can always settle it like men do....
You know...
Tell our new girlfriend and then she'll go kick his girflriends ass.

Just one of the lessons I learned, y'all have a good day and I hope that made sense.


8/23/2006 5:45 pm

I've been guilty, but only with my ex. He would say the most awful things to me. Things that were meant to hurt me to the very core of my being. I didn't grow up that way. I didn't grow up to fight dirty. However, after hearing his words time after time I started saying them back. After that, I knew I was done with him. I couldn't be with somebody who treated me that way or brought me down to that level.

lostmydrinkagain 45F
2272 posts
8/23/2006 5:55 pm

I try to always stick with the golden rule, but I do have these poker buddies, for about 8 yrs now they have called me "you fucking bitch" of course everytime they say that I'm scooping up the pot, so it's all good with me...

rm_AnOddGirl 58F
3469 posts
8/24/2006 10:34 am

I grew up the day after my Mum died. My asshat brother was well being a dick and instead of calling him names, I just screamed "gawddayumit' and other non-name obscenities real loud into the phone. My Mum would have been so proud.

OboesHonedIambs 63F

8/24/2006 7:39 pm

Ooh, I hate name calling. I grew up with too much of it in our home - even though we all loved each other, it was hurtful and overwhelming and when I retaliated in kind, it made me feel awful about myself as a human being. I got a clue about that when I was 14 and made a real effort to stop using name calling as a way of expressing anger or outrage. I got pretty good at it. Only when my first marriage broke up did I call C. names - and only for a short time because by then the habit of not calling names was pretty well ingrained. I was once talking with DH about his perception of me and the way we fought back when he was still actively drinking and I asked him if I was bad at calling him names, and he said that was something I didn't do to him. You have no idea how glad that made me.

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

SingleNLooking72 107F

8/25/2006 7:51 am

If I was her, I'd have taken it at face value (and probably laughed too). Anything said in the heat of sex doesn't count. Outside of that, you have to take one thing into account: "sexy" cancels out "bitch." I know that may not alway be the case, but you have to think about who said it and the context. Anything taken out of context can be derogitory. If I was called a hot cum slut, I'd have to look at who said it and what context and then decide if I agree....been there, done that....

GraspCrownRusts 47M
780 posts
8/25/2006 12:28 pm

Hey, fucker, yeah it made sense.

I want to know about the real jerk who took what you said in confidence about the girl being the "stupid bitch" and blurted it about until it got back to her. That totally violates the "guy code", ya knowwhatimean?

Well, I don't want to get off topic too much. When I communicate I make sure the person knows what I am saying in the context I am saying it. Huh? If I call you an butt-head, you know what I meant at the time. Some days you ARE a butt-head (well, not you per se... ) Some days you're just a fun-loving butt-head. But taken out of context and written down on paper - it'll always sound bad, no matter the intent at the time.

Anyway, have a good weekend, biiioooottttccchhhh!

velvetgrrrl 40F

8/27/2006 8:52 pm

Its why I've gotten to the point that I don't say a name I would not to say to one's face. There's no reason to be secretive or petty. If there is a dislike for a person its going to show even if its in the way that my mannerisms are cold and distant towards someone I choose to maintain pleasantries only with.

I have those friendships where the name calling is one of respect. Earned with time to that friendship and a comfort level that grows and nurtures.

Then again if I get called names I'm just delicate enough to be really hurt by it. I don't take too well to not being liked and being called names for no real thought out reason. I need good solid valid points for dislike and name calling

Hell is when u should have walked away, but u didn't.

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