put that first foot forward  

rm_abutoo2 45M
708 posts
7/18/2006 4:02 pm

Last Read:
8/24/2006 1:30 pm

put that first foot forward

Once I put that first foot forward and start looking for the future. I begin to see the solutions to my problems.
So long as I'm in the middle of them, kicking and crying and throwing a fit, it seems like there's no way out. Then, when I make my mind up and begin to assert myself I find doors where only walls had been.
Most of the time, I've found that the problem I was in -- be it financial, emotional, my relationships with others, etc etc...-- were caused mainly by myself. And if I didn't cause them, then I allowed myself to become dependent on the person that was causing them.
Being stuck in a house I can't get myself out of because I'm dependent on another's money for half the bills, have to do as I'm told at work because I have to pay my bills. Waiting for consequences of my actions to catch up with me. Talking shit about someone and waiting for them to learn of it, bad mouthing my supervisor, tring to hide a mistake and avoiding responsibility, telling a lie, not being true to myself... I could go on forever.
Sometimes, the world just comes crashing down too. To hell with the problems I've caused myself. Now I'm stuck trying to deal with some shit that God decided I could handle AND all my other foibles. OH SHIT!!! Stress is a bitch. Now What? Everywhere I look I can't see an answer. I can't kick out my gf/bf because he drinks too much. Then I can't get a ride to see my kids, can't afford the house by myself, he buys half what I drink! Can't tell my mom and dad to go to hell because I live in their house and they'll kick me out. Can't quit my job, baby needs food and clothes and toys.
How do I exit myself from this shithole that my life is currently in? I know I've asked this question of myself a thousand times in the past. The answer is simple. I make a decision and I take a DRASTIC, irreversible step towards change. Then, I take the next step. Then the next. Four years down the road, looking back on life, I'm grateful for when I've had the courage to do it by myself and get things done. To stick with something that I didn't want to and to change something that was familiar, but very scary.

I'm not posting this blog for anything that's happening in my life. But for a friend. I know all the answers for what I had to change in my own life.
The thing is though, I can't dillute them and inject them. My friend will have to find the faith and courage to do it inside of themself.

Other problems in life, that surmount rapidly and engulf me, those I handle a bit differently. Sometimes you get stuck having to take a bite out of a turd. When your whole world comes crashing down. But, then you just do what's in front of you and you keep walking! Do the first thing that you see to do! It's not always the easiest thing, but sometimes it is.

This is probably a bit of a ramble, hope you gather something from it.

rm_WackyEPP 54F
8470 posts
7/18/2006 4:12 pm

Sounds like good advice to me.

Wacky Jacky

rm_abutoo2 replies on 7/18/2006 6:14 pm:
yeah, but try and get THEM to see it, lol

sassy1296 52F

7/18/2006 4:30 pm

No one ever said life was going to be a walk in the park. Every now and than we all end up facing walls instead of doors and it is up to us to turn things around and find the door..

Hugs and hope your friend is going to be ok.

rm_abutoo2 replies on 7/18/2006 6:14 pm:
it is our responsibility, lol. thanks for the hope


7/18/2006 6:30 pm

Your friend is lucky to have you, someone who will listen and understand. You have sound advice, now whether said friend will listen or not is another story but at least it's there. Sometimes when you're down in the pit you can't make headway because you can't see any light and what you need is a friend with one of those helmets with the lamp on it to show there is a way out. Not to say you can or should tell said friend which road to take or what to do but just showing them there is way other than the path they are currently taking is enough sometimes. Probably didn't make any sense at all. Main point: your friend is lucky to have you.

rm_abutoo2 replies on 7/19/2006 12:52 am:
trying to listen to her shows me where my thinking is (or in most cases was) facetious.

Addy19742 44F

7/18/2006 7:47 pm

I refuse to bite any poo. LOL I am teasing. You are very sweet. I hope your friend is listening.

rm_abutoo2 replies on 7/19/2006 12:53 am:
so do I. But she doens't read these...

NSAAddict 43F

7/18/2006 8:14 pm

I was right there with you until you had to say "sometimes you get stuck having to take a bite out of a turd" That's when my overly visual mind took over and the image was just to much to bear... thanks, I'm going to go throw up now

Ahhh much better, in all seriousness I hope your friend takes your advice, it's really good advice and probably just what she/he needs to hear

rm_abutoo2 replies on 7/19/2006 12:54 am:
oh hell, I didn't tell her what I wrote. From my mouth it would come out as "Hey, it's your own f'n fault you know."

Addy19742 44F

7/18/2006 8:38 pm

Well I am really not teasing about the poo. Phewwwwwww! LOL

rm_abutoo2 replies on 7/19/2006 12:55 am:
to chew poo? or to not chew poo??? That is the question!

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