ok, I'm calmed down some  

rm_abutoo2 45M
708 posts
8/13/2006 9:22 pm

Last Read:
8/14/2006 9:24 pm

ok, I'm calmed down some

Look, in my previous post, I'll admit... I snapped. But those that read my blogs know that I genuinely care about the welfare of people in my life.
I mean, I truly love people and I find things to like about most of the ones that are decent folks. Some people I don't even try to like, cause they just suck ass. But most people try to do the right thing. We're just really f'd up at it for the most part.
So, when a woman comes to me over and over, well intimacies are exchanged. Secrets are shared. Closeness develops. If it's true that to know someone is to love them (and I believe it is) then I love these people. Once I understand someone, and I can put motive behind their actions. I then begin to understand the "why" and once understanding comes in to play, then compassion closely follows.
So, to learn to love these women as people, and not as girlfriends, and then to watch them repeatedly put their balls back in the nutcracker... well suffice it to say, it sucks to watch. Expecially when I've gone through all that I've gone through. I'm young, but I got a lot of wisdom y'all. If I had more patience I'd be set, lol. I can see the outcome in most of these situations.
I even understand why they keep trying the same ol' shit too. It's called hope. The hell with love. It's hope that they may be able to retrieve that which they, at one time, had. Nobody ever wants to abandon that fairy-tale ideal of "happily ever after." Even though we're all old enough to mentally know and understand that it doesn't exist... well we still hope in our hearts that people will be different.
So, it's the hope. Like a druggie chasing that first high, they're after that feeling that they had when the relationship was new and they both worked together on the same page to get things done.
But, once trust is abolished, or paths through the woods take very drastic turns, holding on to a relationship becomes an exercise in futility. You cannot go back and retrieve the old feeling's without getting rid of the feelings you have right now. Think about that for a second. That means that you have to discard the feelings of mistrust, insecurites, or give time to allow behavior to change, before you can ever hope to re-claim that lost feeling.
Sometimes, this can happen do to a life-altering event. And I mean a seismic event too! An earth shattering personal experience can change a person overnight. Other than that, it takes a long long time.


8/14/2006 6:48 am

I totally agree with you. Once I found out my husband cheated on me then lied about it for years (you know, it was one of those things that I knew deep down but tried to believe him when he denied it all), all trust was gone. We played with the idea of making things work but I knew and still know deep down that I would never be able to get over the hurt or trust him again so what would be the point. I would forever be wondering "who" he was doing which would suck. It wouldn't be fair to him either to constantly live under suspicion. Oh well, all that to say, I agree with you lol.

rm_abutoo2 replies on 8/14/2006 9:05 am:
yeah, but try and get someone to see something that's crystal clear to you! lol

HotTXpussy4U 49F

8/14/2006 4:10 pm

I just "hope" that you meet some nice ladies with less drama - - we are out here ya know! {=}

rm_abutoo2 replies on 8/14/2006 9:26 pm:
I still can't stop staring at your boobs...
hold on...
lol god but that's an impressive picure, \8
I know y'all are out there, sometimes though I wonder if this isn't some kind of gift I have, to be able to write e-mails and blogs that kinda inspire some folks to take charge of their lives.

sassy1296 52F

8/14/2006 4:49 pm

Unfortunatly people have to live and learn. And sometimes it takes a long time to learn the lesson and it is a bitter pill to swollow in the end. You have been the friend, the confidient and now you have to just let them go and do as they feel they must. It is hard and hurts you almost as much. but sometimes necessary.

Hugs to you sweet man. Your friends are truely lucky to have you.

rm_abutoo2 replies on 8/14/2006 9:27 pm:
that's too right, learning when to let em go is just as important as the messages you send. thanks for the reminder.

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