Older Stains  

rm_VoodooGuru1 50M
2116 posts
5/25/2006 3:43 am

Last Read:
6/9/2006 4:32 am

Older Stains

While I'm enjoying my new nef and my old nef, I thought you might enjoy some more classic Voodoo.

The original title was, You Might Feel a Little Pressure.

Had to borrow my moms’s car today, since mine’s in the shop with a bad electronics bug. I usually don’t mind driving her car since it’s fast and fun, but I’ve had problems occasionally... like today.

I was driving when I got the call, it was moms and she was calling from work. She wanted to know if she had left a bag on the floor of the back seat... indeed she had, and she needed it. Would I mind bringing it to her office? ‘Course not... then she concludes by saying, “It’s full of instruments that need to be sterilized, so don’t get into it.”

She had to say that, right? I wouldn’t have gotten into it, wouldn’t have cared! But she had to tell me not to get into it.

I grabbed it and put it on the front seat, opened it up and... Aaaahhhhhh!!!

Yep... it was a big bag o’speculums. And... well, there’s really no way to put this delicately... they were, um, used. Gleaming with KY residue, and God knows what else, I nearly drove into a fucking ditch.

See, moms is an Ob/Gyn nurse practitioner. She’s got two offices and has to drive the instruments, ultra sound machine, specimens, and other stuff back and forth.

Oh, I’m a womyn-positive male... it never occurred to me that women were anything but equal to me. I believe the Seven Sisters should remain women’s colleges, yet the military schools were right in going co-ed. I’ve taken time to learn how the female bits work, from ovulation to ejaculation, I enjoy going down on you, the wetter the better, I think your vulva is pretty, I’ve no problem running to the store to get you tampons & chocolate, I have absolutely no problem with sex during your period, and have even been known to “pull the string” and throw it away in the middle of urgent, gotta-have-you-now sex.

... But I don’t want to see used speculums! I don’t want to be a speculum delivery boy. And you don’t want me around them either, because even with a freshly sterilized speculum, all I’m going to do with it is make quacking noises and chase you around with it.

rm_bucfannn 62M/61F
2110 posts
5/25/2006 5:43 am

*really laughing*

Quacking? Oh crap. Now, I will probably start laughing during my next pap.

Thanks a lot...

MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
5/25/2006 9:07 am

I still want to know what the hell you thought was in the bag, when she said instruments that needed to be sterlized. I also still hate that spelling of woman.

rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
5/25/2006 9:46 am

    Quoting rm_bucfannn:
    *really laughing*

    Quacking? Oh crap. Now, I will probably start laughing during my next pap.

    Thanks a lot...
My thoughts exactly. In fact the blogs in general have been responsible for my laughing inappropriately in a number of settings.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

rm_rsp54 59F
531 posts
5/25/2006 10:29 am

Priceless, Indeed!!!

cuteNEway 42F

5/25/2006 7:11 pm

Oh KAAAYYYY...you are a nosy little shit aren't you

oh and by the way...when are you gonna be in the city again...?

tee hee

frogger1995 40F

5/26/2006 4:50 am

I remember this one! Gosh! have i been here that long...

But agreed, I wouldn't have wanted to see it either. ewww!

rm_Ellenback 59F
966 posts
5/27/2006 9:59 am

Ok I have to ask...these were used??? Don't they freakin' clean them?? And what, are they reusable or something??

OMG the mind boggles, and tell ya the truth, I probably would have wanted to look toooooooooo...LOL

Ya nutbar!!! When your moms tells you something, believe her!!!



bipolybabe 56F

5/28/2006 11:31 am

The moral of the story is...don't borrow mom's car! And like ellenback said, "When your moms tells you something, believe her!"


Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!

spinmedown 50M
3626 posts
6/1/2006 4:46 pm

What do you think was the second thing the guy who invented them did with them?

....he chased someone around with the prototype while making quacking noises...

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

QueenOfSwords 35F

6/1/2006 9:30 pm

Do you think Walt Disney might have had a mum like yours?

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