It is NOT heresy; I will not recant!  

rm_VoodooGuru1 50M
2116 posts
1/30/2006 9:02 am

Last Read:
7/27/2006 5:02 am

It is NOT heresy; I will not recant!

The second most embarrassing moment of my life occurred in 1994 in the little town in which I grew up. I was living in St. Petersburg at the time and was up, with my girlfriend, for my brother's wedding.

Erin, the GF, was a... "complicated" woman. She was a bisexual, progressive, kinky and libidinous swinger; at the same time she was very traditional and conservative. She was an advertising executive who hated Clinton, was extremely family oriented, and indeed, eventually left me because I refused to promise to marry her before she turned 30.

We stayed in one of the handful of bed & breakfasts in my hometown that weekend, which was two mistakes in one. Mistake one was choosing a B& B in my hometown. As I've mentioned before, my hometown is very small where it's nearly impossible for anyone to keep a secret.

Mistake two was choosing a B & B in the first place. She and I had a very active sex life that only increased in ferocity when we were on vacation. Yet, a B & B is still someone else's home, so you can't really treat it like a hotel, nor have the kind of naughty hotel sex I recently described.

Regrettably, it took this weekend for me to learn these things.

We had brought our toys and accessories... had used some of them while fucking loudly in every corner of our little two-room suite. We threw our clothes about with abandon as if we were staying in a hotel.

The day of the wedding we were running late because of some marathon sex. We're both attacking our bags to find everything we needed to get ready and we do get ready in time to make the wedding. On our way out, the couple who owned this B & B told us to have fun and that they would straighten up the room.

"No, no, no... please don't," we plead with them to beg them off, "we know where everything is. We'll take care of it when we return."

We made the wedding, the reception; she pulled me into a service closet after dinner to have sex again. After the reception, we returned to the B & B only to find that the couple had ignored our wishes, and had straightened up... everything!

Our clothes were neatly folded, our toiletries were neatly laid out in the bathroom, our fridge was restocked, our bed was made, and....

The blood rushed to my head while my heart sank to my stomach. No! No, no, no, no, no... there, on the chair next to the bed - set on top of the Gideon's Bible - were our vibrator and a swinger's magazine!

There was no sex that night, and we snuck out early the next morning. I was terrified that the story would get back to the 'rents, but if it did, they never said anything.

No, it was two years later before anyone said anything to me. Up again for my 10 year high school reunion, my buddy Andy, who never left town, let me know that it had been a well known piece of town gossip for a while.

You can't go home again... but you can still be ostracized when you visit.


Rowan_Taltos 49F

1/30/2006 11:03 am


simlpyfun68 49F
1173 posts
1/30/2006 11:38 am

The same thing happened to my ex and I the 1st day of our cruise. You know you get to the ship you find your cabin you have a quicky then they call you for emergency fire drills ship sinking whatevers. Well since this was our first cruise we didn't know our cabin steward was comming in our room to deliver our luggage, unpack, and straighten our room for us. We came back everything was neat and tidy and the toys were clean neatly placed back in the toy bag. Talk about embarassing at least you got to leave the next day we were stuck out in the middle of the Gulf with this guy for almost a week.

Hugz n Smiles

PrincessKarma 44F
6188 posts
1/30/2006 11:52 am


The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

TexasMar 44F

1/30/2006 2:07 pm

OMG!!! That is toooo funny!!! Did it ever make it back to your parents? I PRAY that little tid bit did NOT make it back to your family.

oldman1776 79M
3164 posts
1/30/2006 5:17 pm

LMAO That is funny. Ah the cost of a little enjoyment.

frogger1995 40F

1/30/2006 8:20 pm

I would love to have THAT be my second most embarassing moment. MUCH better than an incident involving a mental slip while giving the visiting dean of an important foreign college a tour of your school. BTW you HAVE to tell us now...what is the first most embarassing.

rm_VoodooGuru1 50M
2053 posts
2/4/2006 3:55 am

Rowan_Taltos - apparently their G too.

simlpyfun68 - that wouldn't have embarrassed me nearly as much. People on cruises are expected to have enthusiastic sex. He cleaned them, right? So it wasn't the first time he'd seen such stuff.

[blog Princess_Karma] - no, I don't think we did any B&D that weekend.

TexasMar - they never mentioned it. Though my brother would have been fine with it; after all, he dropped me off at this "convention" a few years back.

oldman1776 - yeah, but we never think of the cost when we're enjoying.

frogger1995 - perhaps sometime, I still cringe when I think of it. It involved a college prof too. (With the exceptions of Oxford and INSEAD, isn't "important foreign college" an oxymoron?)

Vevixen 52F
81 posts
3/5/2006 10:57 am

Hilarious Voudoo! My most enbarrassing one was in college. I rented a room from a priest at the time and went home for most week ends... One week end, I decided to stay behind and study...and also indulge in a few hours of fucking with the next door neighbor who also rented a room from the clergy man...when the priest walked in unannounced. We heard him opening the door, ran into the small shower stall, closed the curtain...and stood there shaking in the nude for over one hour when he was fixing the stove...I swear we could hear him breathe two feet away...I never saw the neighbor again!

Become a member to create a blog