It's Only a Number  

rm_VoodooGuru1 50M
2116 posts
8/8/2005 9:23 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

It's Only a Number

So, I’ve been chatting on the phone with a lovely woman (let’s call her “D” I’ve met on AdultFriendFinder, and things are going pretty well; lots of intrigue and interest.

The other day she asked me that question - you know the one - the “How many sex partners have you had?” question.

At first I was taken aback; the question came up a lot sooner than I had expected, and in good humor I said, “You’re not allowed to ask me that... at least not now....” I mean, my ex-fiancĂ© never even asked me this. The Ex pretty much knew it was kind of high, and didn’t care to know the specific stats; the only stat she cared about was how many partners I had since meeting her. It probably helped that she knew I would have told her had she asked, no?

So after some hemming and hawing, and a little teasing, I told D my number, and... well, she didn’t take it as well as I would have hoped. Seems she’s gotten over it lately, but she was not pleased.

I admit it... I was once a Suburban Male Slut. happym;

The number of notches on your bedpost, or lipstick case, can quickly increase under the right circumstances. With me, that circumstance was college. I pledged a fraternity (I know, I know... but we’ll get into that in a future entry) and once I moved into the House, it was just so damn easy to hook up. We had weekly open houses, i.e., $5.00, all the beer you can drink, and no checking Ids; hundreds of students would show. You’re the “cool” guy with the Greek letters on his shirt who’s hosting the party. You see an interesting girl and start chatting her up, and if things go well, you invite her upstairs to your room, away from the crowd, noise, and heat, where you’ve got a bottle of wine. You share some wine, some more conversation, then some kisses and... next thing you know it’s morning and you’re walking her to the campus bus stop so she can get back to the dorms, and picking up some more condoms on the walk back to the House.

Well, say you only do this every other week... over the span of three years, it quickly adds up.

Adds up even quicker when your fraternity has semesterly sex competitions that last three weeks, with “valuable prizes awarded to the winning team.” (Again, I’ll address this in a future entry.)

So, kind reader, what are your thoughts on this subject? Do you ask your partner how many partners he/she has been with? And if so, at what point in the relationship do you feel you’re allowed to ask? At what point in the relationship is he/she allowed to ask?

If asked, do you tell? And if you tell, do you tell the actual number, or do you divide it by, say, your college GPA, or maybe calculate its cubic root, and offer that as your answer?

Do you care if your partner’s number is significantly higher than yours?

redmustang91 58M  
8935 posts
8/8/2005 10:01 am

Don't ask, don't tell, don't care about her number or mine!

More interested in how good at sex she is, as I am very good!

ANewLevel4Us 39M/38F

8/8/2005 10:17 am

My husbands number was about 25 more than mine... and at first it bothered me. I was unsure whether or not this high number meant he was non-committal.

steenamarie25 41F

8/8/2005 10:58 am

Recently I was chatting on the phone with a guy from AdultFriendFinder and I had asked him how many girls he had been with, since he had been reading my blog and had commented on how many men that I seem to meet. He didn't even hesitate, he said 3! Well, immediately, I thought, shit, he's going to think I'm a whore. So he said, "how many have you been with?" I did the stall tactic with, "counting woman too or just men" and laughed. He said, "just guys" and again I stalled, "you mean just intercourse?" lol Finally, I shared my # and actually skimmed 2 off the top, because hey, they were only once, for less than a minute or two each and we used condoms. I seriously dont think I should have to count something I didnt even feel! lol

So, Mr Honesty didnt seem tooo alarmed by my number and even said, well you are 6 years older, so I guess it isn't that bad. Not that bad? NOT THAT BAD... yeah its not so bad, because when he called me back a little while later he said, "I need to be honest, I sort of lied earlier, I said 3 because I didn't know how you'd react, its actually like 12." lol I said, "like 12 or will you call me back in an hr and tell me is 112?" So I told him its ok, I skimmed 2 off that even if added together, should only equal a half! lol

My ex has taught me that, if you keep track of the #, its like you're trying to prove something, its just a # and as long as you're safe, who cares. Granted, our approach and numbers aren't the same, but I don't think I'm going to keep counting. For each new experience, I'll forget and deduct one of the OLD, less than 2 minutes, and 4 inches.

frogger1995 40F

8/8/2005 9:27 pm

Anyone you read my profile and blog knows that I am on here "for a good time". I stated in one of my entries that my meetings were pretty much a Meet, Greet, and Fuck. Thus with anyone I meet, we pretty much get to the nitty gritty right away. They are often pretty honest (I presume) since they know I'm not looking for a relationship.

blueeyedmurder3 60F

8/13/2005 8:12 pm

I fear this coming up. Steenamarie said if you're actually counting, it's like you're trying to prove something. And before marriage, that's just what I did! It was some kind of effort to prove how "liked" or "popular" I was - and I think I even included men who'd made a pass at me! I WANTED that number to be huge. And it was over 50. Now, I can't remember enough of those days to know if it's even remotely accurate!

Then I was married, and there WAS no sex - lol - and since the divorce, I again went out and tryed to prove something to somebody for a few months. And nobody's asked. And I don't worry about it anymore. Because if I'm with the right person, he's going to have had dozens of partners too, and will regard it as valuable experience. If it becomes an issue, I know I'm with the wrong person.

In terms of people asking for casual encounters, I simply would reply that I'm tested on a regular basis, and produce paperwork if asked. Anything other than that is simply none of their business.

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