Best Practically-Based Joke Everrr!  

rm_VoodooGuru1 50M
2116 posts
5/7/2006 9:52 pm

Last Read:
2/1/2008 1:33 pm

Best Practically-Based Joke Everrr!

Because he was such a miserable, spiteful bastard, we would fuck with Coleslaw pretty often. Never anything too bad, but we’d do things like, oh... dyeing his rottweiler’s head blonde, sending him anonymous death threats in broken English through the post, I put a little button on the back of his shirt collar that said, “Does the dick in my mouth make me look gay?” He wore that one all day at work... no one bothered to tell him.

Coleslaw was really into internet dating, or rather internet hooking-up. He was a pretty serious troll. He had profiles everywhere, but he especially liked that “hot or not” site. He did pretty well, I mean he wasn’t bad looking, and there are girls that get turned on by Camaros, especially Florida carnival trash chicks. But even those girls were one-fuck dates because as soon as a woman saw him eat, or talk politics, or smell his room, she’d be gone. We decided that this weakness was our opportunity for the best practical joke everrr!

We set up a female profile on Match with no pic, and began corresponding with Coleslaw. Keri-Hottie had actually gone on a couple dates with him a few years back, and knew what buttons to press to get the poor boy interested.

Obviously he asked for a pic; we begged him off for a few days and then sent him a photo of the object of his lust... a blow-up sex doll.

A very disappointed Coleslaw lost interest... but “she” didn’t. We began a stalking that occupied us for the better part of a month. We would send pics of Sex-Farm Annie in bed with her hand between her legs, telling ‘Slaw how horny he made her, and what a great body he had... “You must be able to bench press 150 lbs!”

She told him how sexy she thought Camaros were and how speed turned her on; she “LOOOVED” Motley Crue, and she liked to go to the strip clubs on Dale Mabry.

Then we got creepy... “I watched you working out tonight ‘Slaw, I got so horny I had to rub myself off right there in the bushes,” was accompanied by a pic of Annie outside the gym where he worked out. “Who was that WHORE you were with?!?” was the message that came with a pic of the car of a girl who came over to fuck him one night.

Annie sent a picture of herself on the hood of his Camaro asking him if she looked like Tawny Kitaen (Whitesnake video?)

By this time, Coleslaw is getting uneasy. He suspected it might be us, but we were good at covering our tracks, and employing others to take the pics when ‘Slaw thought he knew where we were. So the fact that this might be some crazy chick he dicked over was weighing on him. Then we got really creepy.

“I’m sorry that you can’t see we were meant to be together. Without you, my life will never be complete. I realize I must resort to desperate measures,” was the message that accompanied the pic of Annie holding a French chef’s knife in her hand.

A week goes by with no word from his cyber-stalker, and ‘Slaw is starting to freak... asks me if I think he should call the cops. “And tell them what? A sex doll is stalking you?”

A few days after this, we get a letter addressed to him - no return address. Inside is a sappy suicide note, along with a series of photos capturing her suicide... she pulled her own air valve.

Sex-Farm Annie


“Too Beautiful for this World”

demonicsexkitten 42F
10688 posts
5/7/2006 10:07 pm

OMG!! lol... that is too funny did he ever figure out it was you guys?

rm_VoodooGuru1 replies on 5/10/2006 7:06 pm:
Of course. It was all we could do not to burst out laughing everytime we saw him while the prank was on.

Knot4Everyone 41F

5/7/2006 10:39 pm

That's cruel - but damn funny!!!

rm_VoodooGuru1 replies on 5/10/2006 7:08 pm:

ticktock500 45M

5/7/2006 10:51 pm

fucking hilarious

rm_VoodooGuru1 replies on 5/10/2006 7:08 pm:
Thank you.

rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
5/8/2006 12:40 am

OK, you're right. It is.

"pulling her own air valve" put it over the top.

(still doing those laugh acronyms I've been shamed into no longer using)

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

rm_VoodooGuru1 replies on 5/10/2006 7:09 pm:
Thanks Wahine.

cuteNEway 42F

5/8/2006 3:46 am

OMG!!! That is the funniest prank I've EVER heard of!! You guys are pure EVIL!! um...can I, like, hang out with y'all??


rm_VoodooGuru1 replies on 5/10/2006 7:11 pm:
Oh, I assure you, you're cooler than us. We're just... kinda evil. There's a difference.

GoddessOfTheDawn 106F
11240 posts
5/8/2006 4:43 am

    Quoting rm_1hotwahine:
    OK, you're right. It is.

    "pulling her own air valve" put it over the top.

    (still doing those laugh acronyms I've been shamed into no longer using)

laffz at both the joke and wahine'z response....

need any help wiv that valve?

rm_VoodooGuru1 replies on 5/10/2006 7:13 pm:
Thank you GOTD... you know, you're like a wraith with wings of lace, dusted with confectionary sugar the way you just float and flitter about.

MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
5/8/2006 5:23 pm

That is delightfully evil. But what did the suicide note say?

rm_VoodooGuru1 replies on 5/10/2006 7:16 pm:
I don't recall the wording, but it was very Sylvia Plath.

sexyeyes375 48F

5/9/2006 7:56 am

wickedly funny

rm_VoodooGuru1 replies on 5/10/2006 7:17 pm:
Hey, sexy eyes! Nice to see you, thanks for reading.

runzwithknives 61F

5/14/2006 8:28 pm

ROFLMAO and crying. Evil, cruel, fucking hilarious. I'm coming to you for advice, baby. We're having quite a time in the office these days. Remind me to say in YOUR good graces, tho.


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