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Explore. Dream. Discover
Q: Why do women fake orgasms?
Posted:Jul 3, 2005 5:14 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
417 Views

A: Because men fake foreplay.

I can't remember where I read that joke, but I liked it!
0 Comments
How similar is AdultFriendFinder to
Posted:Jul 1, 2005 1:44 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
442 Views

To quote one sociologist: Shopping has a lot in common with sex. Just about everybody does it (shopping/sex); some people brag about how well they do it (shopping/sex). Some keep it a secret (shopping/sex). And both provide ample opportunities to make foolish choices (shopping/sex).

Wow…I don’t know that I ever looked at it quite like that…

One of the things I’ve noticed is that routine is d-u-l-l ! I’ll bet if you polled AdultFriendFinder participants if they wanted to go shopping for a) milk, bread and breakfast cereal or; b) for clothes, electronics and music/CDs, the groceries option would lose 99 out of 100 times. People don’t like to shop for routine purchases. Shopping ‒ real shopping ‒ adds excitement and surprise to life. An unexpected bargain or a special buy that might not be available tomorrow, or ever again.

See the similarity shopping has with AdultFriendFinder? Participants here are looking for something that will add excitement, maybe add a surprise. The sense of discovery energizes. Just as finding a sale on this year’s new clothing line can provide a buyer with a sudden transformation ‒ “a new me” ‒ that same lift and energy can come by connecting with someone on AdultFriendFinder.

But even with similarities to shopping, an AdultFriendFinder connection isn’t a “purchase”. It’s more like a partnership, or a merger, maybe. Two “shoppers” are looking for that excitement and transformation that establishing a new physical relationship can (but doesn’t always) deliver.

It’s sort of a paradox. We’re looking for self-creation, openness (or in AdultFriendFinder speak, “be real; no B-S),and change (a new physical relationship and the excitement and energy that comes with that).

I’m turning over in my mind the thinking that to successfully “shop” on AdultFriendFinder, I need to become a conspirator in my own seduction. I have to have the commitment and sincerity to actively look for the type of woman I’m hoping to rendezvous with ‒ someone who will provide the stimulation, the excitement, the “transformation” I’m seeking -- to confirm my belief that yeah, sex IS fun, and it doesn’t have to be a fond memory in my past, but still can be part of what I’m experiencing today. There has to be a fit, just like with a suit or pair of shoes.

A big difference is that if I buy a suit from Brooks Brothers and decide tomorrow it really isn’t the right color, I can return it to the store for a full refund. Interacting with another person is a lot more important and involved than buying a suit (even a custom tailored cashmere) ESPECIALLY when that interaction is in an intimate setting, such as AdultFriendFinder facilitates.

Actually, the thinking I probably should adopt is that I"M the merchandise, and the women AdultFriendFinder participants are the shoppers. If that IS the case, then I better start on my merchandising -- dress-up my window displays (my profile), and think about announcing a 4th of July sale. God forbid I get categorized with shopping for Cherrios and Corn Flakes! (Hmmm…I wonder where I should put the Red Dot to show what items are on special?…
0 Comments
Do women in 2005 define
Posted:Jun 30, 2005 2:10 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
537 Views

Part of what makes sex so much fun is the difference between the sexes ‒ vive le difference! And the differences aren’t all necessarily physical. Thought processes can differ as well.

Still, I’m a big believer in individualism, versus thinking “all women” or “all men” behave a certain way. Even so, I continue to work through what might be reasonable expectations for a woman who posts her profile on AdultFriendFinder saying she’s looking for a “no strings” liaison.

I know my motivation for posting on AdultFriendFinder falls into two main arenas. As the AdultFriendFinder other topics list it: “my sex life is barren”, and sex IS important to me. The other is that there is an excitement surrounding a new partner ‒ the sense of discovery is arousing; it’s exciting. That second reason might be a broad categorization of why most men post on AdultFriendFinder: sex is fun, and it’s arousing to be with a new partner.

In the “good old days”, from what I’ve read it seemed that women were more likely to take a lover if there was serious trouble in her marriage. The expectation ‒ the hope? ‒ fifty years ago was that her lover would provide a connection beyond sex. But I’m not so sure that’s the case now.

Now I think the reasons for taking a new partner are blurring when looking at men and women. The traditional male affair that was primarily sexual is changing because more men are having more mind AND body affairs. (i.e. a partner who can connect via a conversation as well as her body is more appealing than someone who has a “10” figure but is as dumb as a box of rocks.)

Meanwhile, it sure seems like women are having more sexual affairs: women now feel more entitled to enjoy their sexuality -- at least the ones posting on AdultFriendFinder seem to have that sense of entitlement. So, if sex with their husband isn't satisfying, AdultFriendFinder women have decided to look elsewhere than maybe their grandmothers would have been. And they don’t (necessarily) need to have a deep emotional connection ‒ a friend-with-benefits is OK. Or maybe I’m reading more into the profiles here than I should.

I do think most people have a native curiosity, and for married people posting on AdultFriendFinder ‒ men AND women ‒ these postings might be seen as experimental. Someone finds something missing in their relationship, and checks out what it's like to be with someone else, but they don’t want to end their marriage. The encounter turns out to be not-so-great, and they end it.

I reckon that’s where the “no strings” definition comes in. Someone might look like the perfect bedroom partner, but for whatever reason, things don’t click.

IS that a safe assumption one can take when contacting a woman on AdultFriendFinder ‒ that she is OK with the “no strings” approach ‒ that there’s no obligation to carry on? Do women in 2005 define “no strings” the same as men do?

And geez -- it does put a wet blanket on things to belabor the “no strings” aspect when first communicating with someone. But we all know what can happen when one “assumes” something.

I’m not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, so if anyone has pointers or opinions they are willing to share, I’d be obliged!

And until I reach that next level of enlightenment: Vive la difference!
0 Comments
Back from Down Under (that's NOT an AdultFriendFinder member...Australia!)
Posted:Jun 29, 2005 3:55 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
455 Views
Dang. I started this blog back in April and promptly forgot about it. Duh.

I spent most of June in Australia and New Zealand burning a bucket load of air miles. With so many of the airlines going bankrupt, I started to panic that the awards would become worthless so I cashed them in, so to speak.

If you've never been, I recommend putting Oz on your "places to visit before you die" list. This was my 10th (11th ?) visit and I could easily see myself applying for residency(not citizenship...still a True Blue USA-er).

My past trips were mostly business, this one was all recreation. I got to see friends from my business travels, revisit some familiar haunts and just generally play tourist. Went into the outback after Sydney, went diving on the barrier reef and toured around New Zealand's north island (Auckland) for a couple of days. Jet lag is still messin' with my internal clock -- a cryin' shame I don't have a "recreational opportunity" for those wakeful hours at 3: 00 AM (but that's a topic for a posting all by itself.)

And, the Ozzies and Kiwis take a more libertine view towards adult pursuits. Brothels are licensed and there are published adverts for couples clubs...and I gotta say, it caught me off-guard when one young lady told me she thought my accent was "sexy" (I thought the folks living there were the ones with an accent.)

There are a number of Australian AdultFriendFinder profiles, but I didn't have the wherewithal to try and organize any rendezvous. More's the pity. But, I'm not (normally) a quick-screw guy (OK...I mean, who HASN'T had a spontaneous tryst fueled by a couple of drinks? ) Maybe if I'm a bit more forward-thinking I can begin a correspondence with some Sydneysiders before my next visit and who knows what interactions might take place.

"Down under"...the term brings a couple of delightful scenarios to mind.
0 Comments
Up dating one's profile
Posted:Apr 8, 2005 2:13 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
639 Views

How important are the written profiles and how important are the photos in an AdultFriendFinder profile? I know I spent more time on the written profile than the posted photo. Hmmm...maybe that's an indication that profiles with expanded written info indicates a partner who wants mental stimulation along with the physical. Kind of makes sense -- and if one can get it all, physical and mental -- that only makes something that's good even better, eh what?
1 comment
A nice place for idle musings...
Posted:Apr 5, 2005 12:00 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
349 Views

travelin4

So this is blogging...

Every now and again I'll get a random thought that strikes me as worth jotting down. Rather than cluttersome poor AdultFriendFinder member's in-box with those unsolicited reflections, I thought I'd see what's involved in setting up an AdultFriendFinder blog.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
0 Comments

To link to this blog (rm_Travelin4) use [blog rm_Travelin4] in your messages.

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Do women in 2005 define (2)rm_Yesooyes
Jun 30, 2005 2:40 pm
Up dating one's profile (5)rm_WickedFemale
Apr 8, 2005 5:06 pm