Dom or Sub? Who cares as long as the pain feels nice...  

rm_ThePro2 42M
34 posts
4/16/2006 3:44 am

Last Read:
1/8/2007 11:15 am

Dom or Sub? Who cares as long as the pain feels nice...

The inescapable condition of being part of the BDSM community these days is being ascribed a role, a bit like being placed in a straightjacket ‒ which is all the more ironic since the lifestyle was supposed to herald the liberation of a deviant under-culture of some sort. Walk into a club, pairs of eyes immediately start decrypting the gait and gear to figure out whether you are submissive or dominant, owned or free, and whatever else category the bdsm lifestyle has spawned in the recent years. Same thing when you go into an online chat room and are immediately assailed by a profusion of terms like Dom, Master, Owner, Breeder, slave, sub etc ‒ not to add the flowery vocabulary of particular lifestyles, like Belariath or Gor.

I was once asked whether Master desired kajira to serve ‒ and I thought the scantily clad but prominently collared girl was referring to some kind sort of asiatic food. After I suffered the ignominy of feeling like an outsider for the whole evening while the other connoisseurs “partook” of the “victuals”, I decided to learn some more about the basics of Gor and discovered a world as unforgiving to the tenderfoot as any high school sorority.

It leaves people like me who obstinately refuse to be assimilated in whatever grouping, or who feel that no description can exhaustively muster their inner nature, in a dubious gray area. At some time, I thought I could get away being “switch” but quickly learnt that this is looked down upon as being an impostor on both sides. Dilemma strikes! What am I? Do I need to be some…thing?

(to continue)

funky69z 37F

4/23/2006 12:17 pm

I'm just as confused as you!

I am naturally more dominant but I do enjoy being tied up and submissive now and again.

I like toping from the bottom too!

I decided to be the same as I was in school and just avoid the whole label thing...

I refer to my self as an explorer

you don't need to be anything but yourself

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