Sex is not Romance  

rm_Syngel 53M
1 posts
11/16/2005 11:50 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Sex is not Romance

I'm on AdultFriendFinder with an ulterior motive. I'm curious about the interaction between romance, sex, love, self-esteem, caring, relationships, and aging.

I have no illusions that I will find a mate in this community. While I'm not remotely judgemental about sexual histories or facts, neither am I particularly tolerant of injustice (either to yourself or to others) or ignorance. As such, I'm a bit of a social porcupine.

Each of us has periods in our life where we reevalutate who we are to ourselves. This happens a lot when you change relationships, have a child, move to a new location, etc. You reinvent yourself for your new social environs.

I'm looking down the road to see what romance truly does for our lives - and how it is to be maintained. Fucking people isn't romance - it can be associated with romance, but the act of fucking isn't, itself, innately romantic.

The reinvention into a romantic being - I think this is a very difficult task for most people to master. It requires more than just self-confidence and attention to your partner; it seems to require a letting go of the past and the future.

As such, it feels to me that true romance ends up being non-temporal. This is a hard state for people to find themselves in. The physicality of sex is something that removes people from their social and cultural mind and pushes them into their physical nature. I think this is why romance and sex have been so intrinsically linked. There are so few times that people release their temporally focused selves.

A really fucking good song; a poem that shakes you ; these kinds of experiences also seem to duplicate the non-temporal nature of romance.

Romance is an element of "not now/not me" and as such it is a rare and important thing to experience.

I'm looking around at its edges. And you good people are helping me look. Thanks for the help.

rm_corezon 54F
3376 posts
11/16/2005 9:15 pm

(I'm female)

By no means are you alone in your "ulterior" motives. Alot of people come here mostly to blog and get feedback, or just express themselves. There actually are some romantic souls on this site...not easy to find with all the butt shots in your face, but those are the pics that get profiled...start looking at the blogs...

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