Fear is the mind-killer  

rm_Sloppyjoe812 59M
58 posts
6/20/2006 6:39 am

Last Read:
6/29/2006 6:59 am

Fear is the mind-killer

I have to admit that meeting and chatting with various women on this site has been a lot of fun. I will also admit that one woman in particular has awakened some inner demons, and has made me take a long hard (no pun intended), look at myself and the way I interact with others.

I am a grown man. Married with a teenage son. Secure job with a great income. So why the insecurity? Why am I so afraid to take the inward look and try to deal with issues that have plagued me throughout my life? What is it about me that makes me this way?

I want people to like me. I try too hard to get others approval; and lose sight of the really meaningful aspects of a nuturing relationship. What depresses me is my feelings of inadequacy when I fall short of those sights. I am afraid.

I am terrified that people, women in particular, (Lisa to be specific), won't like the real me...so I use humor as a shield. A buffer that prevents me from opening up and being 'real'.

So what's the answer? Therapy? Drugs? Meditation?

Frank Herbert wrote:

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

I can only try.

keithcancook 61M
17930 posts
6/20/2006 7:41 am

I suppose that there is more than one simple answer.

I would consider trying openness. Let the so-called "real" you be revealed. At least then you will know whether or not the "real" you can pass muster with lisa.

Unveil yourself and let the chips fall where they may. That oughtta do it.

Blog On!

GlialSewerEuler 70M
73 posts
6/21/2006 9:47 am

Easier said than done, when there so many things in this world that get us down! Along with age comes awareness and sometimes I wonder if I was better of ignorant? As I get older I tend to think about correcting the faults in my life just as you do, but then I see that it's those very faults that make me who I am! Are you a bad person, doesn't sound like you are, than why do you want to change, just to satisfy someones vision of what the perfect person is? Who says that they're vision is the right one. Motor on, and try not to beat yourself up about someones high expectations of you, after all how did you get where you are today if everything you did was wrong!

rm_Sloppyjoe812 replies on 6/21/2006 10:45 am:
Thanks for that....motor on I will...full speed ahead!

rm_irishangel37 48F

6/23/2006 1:44 pm

For a minute there...I thought I was that special woman...
back to the profiles...hmmm

rm_lilsass999 47F

6/28/2006 10:14 pm

humor is great, i lovee it,,,,,,,,,,,, but as i said before, there is a point of overkill...........be yourself..... dont try so hard.

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