Oh, The Drama  

rm_SlaveDragon5 46M
53 posts
7/2/2006 10:53 pm
Oh, The Drama


And for the first time, the Dragon is down. He's tired. He's wore out. And most importantly, he's FRUSTRATED.

I came to this site with exactly ONE agenda: To meet new people that I could hang with, party with, and be myself around. Anything more was a bonus.

Well the bonuses are starting to kick my ass. How can one person live up to the monster he has created? Hey, while the whole SlaveDragon character is cool, the thing people need to remember is, I'm still me. I'm still a guy who has the same problems, stresses and dilemas that each and every person faces every single day.

I love being involved in the St. Louis Fun group, and I like being involved in the AdultFriendFinder world. But one guy can only take so much. I've met good people here, but just because I've met them doesn't mean I'm going home with them. Let me tell each and every one of you something: I am NOT desperate. Since my married days, I have become VERY comfortable sleeping alone. I do it quite often, actually. Now I find myself on the defensive. That is bad. Very bad.

Tonight, I hurt an Angel. I did it less than 15 minutes ago. I am not proud of it, but I will not run from it either. She is a strong, sexy, and desirable woman in every regard. I have become a better person just by having conversation with her. But she was the icing on the cake. Only SHE could cause the Dragon to unfurl his claws.

I'm fed up with the Drama. Why can't I go out and mingle without having someone leaving upset? Why can't I go out and enjoy everyone without someone thinking I'm ignoring them? Or avoiding them? Or shying away from them?

I am who I am. I offer no excuses or apologies to anyone. I hate being down and out, but that's how things are tonight. I feel like every little thing I do is being put under the microscope. Why I ask? Am I any different than any single one of you? Do I feel or act different than any individual that I've had the pleasure of meeting? Am I any better or any worse? The answer is a resounding "no!" I sort through the confusion and do the best I can.

Clearly, I have given off the vibe that I have life figured out. In all honesty, I am more confused about things than 99% of the people I've met. I'm just befuddled.

Let me tell everyone ONE thing, and ONE thing only: My kids come first. I keep their innocence protected because they are my life. I work long hours and sacrifice days/nights with other adults because of them. I do what I can to provide the right example for them. I want them to grow up with the opportunities that I had. I make a concious choice to keep them separate from my social life because of these reasons. THEY motivate me to be the person I am. I'd trade every motorcycle, every friend, and every good thought I've ever had for one smile; for one "I love you, daddy." That is a fact.

So to you who read this, I ask: "Please, take a step back." Understand that while I am the person you may think you know, there is a whole lot more to me. I am a father first. I am a friend, a companion, and a lover after that fact. I just want some peace!

NO MORE DRAMA!

I'll come out, I'll hang out. I'll party. I'll enjoy your good feelings, but I'll go home alone. I'm comfortable with that. I'll ask for no more than I'm willing to give. That seems like a fair tradeoff.

I just want to get back to having fun. That can't be too much to ask?!?

And as for that Angel, I'm sorry I hurt you. It was not my intention. You suffered a Dragon's anger because of other outlying factors. Surely things will get better.

See you all soon,

-SD-

onespicylilPEP 39F
60 posts
7/4/2006 6:31 pm

SD,
My God you have a hard row to hoe it seems. If I can do anything for you, even if it's telling you a story three times over...just let me know. Believe it or not, I am a pretty damn good listener!!

Pep


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