Here Comes The Rain  

rm_SlaveDragon5 45M
53 posts
6/22/2006 10:05 pm

Last Read:
10/2/2006 11:37 pm

Here Comes The Rain

4:30 PM: One tired Dragon walks out of work; tired, sweaty, and a smidge on the cranky side.

4:32 PM: See the SlaveDragon Express. Immediate relief to the "smidge cranky" thing.

4:33 PM: Throw one long leg over my girl, fire her up, hear the purr. No more crankiness!! Things are looking up!

4:33:30: Look skyward. Hmmm, those are some dark clouds!

4:34: Begin to roll. Thunder out of the pipes. God, I love that sound! Unfortunately, its when I'm idling. Apparently, its not the pipes making all that noise. Look skyward again. This isn't good.

4:50: Yes! I'm on the highway! Hey, hey, I'm going to outrun the storm!

4:55: F#&&#*^#ing MoDot. I hate those bastards. Who closes down two lanes on a four lane highway when there is a Severe Thunderstorm Watch in effect?!? Those little orange vest wearing pricks. Is that more thunder?

5:10: Well, lookee here. I've moved a whopping 17 feet in 15 minutes. The only orange vest wearing bastard I can see is eating a ham and cheese on his asphalt roller, UNDER a canopy. He's taunting me, I know he is.

5:27: Ok, we've hit 270 and sanity prevails. I'm now doing over 35 and loving it. Hot chick from work cruising next to me. Window drops: "God, I love a guy who can ride in the rain!!" Dragon strikes back: "What rain? By the way, you're hot! I may love you! Take me home?"

5:28: I hope that was a bird that just relieved himself on me. It was wet. This is not good. Hot chick from work still looking hot, but rolling her window back up.

5:29: Cell phone rings. 'Mom' is calling. Dragon answers. "Hello?" "Hi son, just wanted to tell you if you were on your bike today, there is some bad weather coming. Be careful baby, I love you." "Hey Mom, got to go, apparently there is a whole FLOCK of birds peeing on me." Think maybe its time to change lanes. (And yes, I can talk on the phone and ride at the same time).

5:29:41: Hot chick is now looking sympathetic. It could be because God is playing a big joke on the Dragon. I've seen power washers with less force than this downpour. Glasses are fogging. Water everywhere, and the Dragon does mean EVERYWHERE! This is really not good.

5:31: Hey, the a**hole in front of me just flipped his Swisher Sweet out the window. Yep, you guessed it, hit me in the left eye lens. Good news is, it was not still lit. How could it be? The wall of water coming from above is amazing!

5:32: Yes! An overpass! Need to hit the shoulder! Hey, light grey Honda Accord....let me over...

5:32: You f@#%$. Do you NOT see me pointing at the shoulder?!? And wait...Are you LAUGHING at me?!? I'd whip your ass, but I'm too busy looking for a snorkle

5:40: Well, who would've thought it could rain this hard THIS long? It would seem that the laws of nature would go against this. Interesting new developement: Ass end of the bike is all over the place due to the oil on the road. Wheeee!

5:46: Is that my exit?!? Yes! Ok, almost home now! Using right index finger like a washer blade on glasses. Can't see sh*t. Sweet baby Moses, I just want to be DRY again!

5:48: Thank God for stoplights. I need a smoke. Reach into pocket. Not good. I'm touching my own thigh. How did I rip out my pocket? Better yet, how did I manage to lose my smokes without knowing it?!? Damn rain. Um, which pocket were my house keys in?

5:52: Gas station canopies RULE! Uh oh. Good news is, house keys are in OTHER pocket. Bad news: Car keys aren't. Hmm, that's going to suck.

5:53: Gas station clerk (chuckling): "Hello sir, may I help you?" "Yes maam, I'll take a pack of Marlboro Lights, Box please." "Wow, you're wet!" "Yes maam, and you would be too if you took a ride with me in 2nd gear!" "Uh, it's raining." Hmm, the Dragon's game needs some work.

5:54: Smoking, in the rain, and getting cranky all over again. Tired as hell. Good news: No sweat.

5:55: SlaveDragon Express re-fires! 2 Minutes from home!

5:56: Not even out of the parking lot and officer of the law lighting the Dragon up. This can't be good. This has GOT to be biker profiling, right? RIGHT?!?!

5:56:20: "Sir, you need to turn your headlight on." "Officer, my headlight IS on!" "No sir, it is not." F%@$%^. Turned the switch the wrong way. No harm done. Flip it over. Express dies. Hit the start button. Sounds like the last stages of emphysema. Interesting.

5:57: Seriously, can it rain any harder? It's a cruel joke. It must be.

6:00 P motherf@%@@^ing M: POPSTART the two wheeled whore. Really begin to hate her. Thinking about naming her after my ex-wife. Suitable, to say the least.

6:11: I live two MILES from the station, and it takes ELEVEN minutes to get home?!? Are you kidding me?!? Hit the garage door opener. Nothing. God hates me, that's what it is.

6:11:47: Manually lift the garage door. Heaviest f$@^^%ing door since the conception of weight. Pretty sure I've blown ten discs in the old Dragon spine. Park the bike. Thank God for small miracles!!

6:14: Peel, LITERALLY, peel the clothing off the body. Cell phone ringing.....

6:14: 'Mom' is calling. "Hello?" "Hey Son, just wanted to let you know, they've called off the Severe Thunderstorm Watch. Be careful anyway. I love you." "Love you too Mom, and I'll call you later."

Tomorrow has got to be better, right?

Well, it can't be worse. Anyone know how to hotwire a Stratus?!?

My thoughts to you all-


onespicylilPEP 38F
60 posts
6/23/2006 6:34 am

uumm Slave, I'm not sure whether to cry for you or laugh at you. Been there, done that, well the rain thing that is. Had to ride from Bowles and 141, to our house in Imperial, in rain that felt like someone was pooring piss out of a bucket and thundering and lightening all over the place!!


PepsDick 54M/38F

6/24/2006 4:21 am

Know how you feel Bro, Been there, done that, with the exception of the county mounties pulling you over.

^5 Lets roll!!!!

horsearcherwanna 56M/37F
17 posts
9/2/2006 2:07 pm

I have a long cold ride or two myself. I am from michigan. Rode over to a friends house for a poker game. Lost my socks Literaly and endup up spending the night. !!! Next morning had snow on the ground. Waited untill about 230 for the snow to melt down some and then snuck home slow and easy.

Become a member to create a blog