A fish story  

rm_SeriousFun2 56M
65 posts
6/7/2006 12:43 pm

Last Read:
6/12/2006 11:22 am

A fish story

So there I was in the shower this morning soaping up my body and for some reason I started thinking about fishing. Maybe it had something to do with my dangling pole?

But I started wondering how fishing came about. I mean, whose idea was it and how did it get so darned complicated?

I can just picture some prehistoric guy standing knee-deep in a freezing stream watching his legs turn blue while he tries to grab a fish as it swims by. He finally grabs one and pulls it out of the water. He's so excited that the fish wriggles out of his grasp to plop back in the water splashing cold water across his privates. He lunges for it again but he slips on a slime covered rock, loses his balance and falls face first in the stream as his mate laughs at him from the shore. As he sits up in the freezing water, he realizes that this isn't ever going to work. He wades to shore and she stops laughing as she realizes that it's just berries and nuts again for dinner tonight. That night, sitting around the fire at the cave, eating berries instead of a nice fish, the little torch above his head flashed on.

The next morning he finds a long, sharp stick in the woods. Suitably equipped, he now waits in stream for a fish to come swimming past. After a dozen or so attempts he finally spears a fish lifting it triumphantly into the air and shakes the cold water off the fish and on to his mate who, while pissed at him for the dousing, is also suitably impressed. That night, the family sleeps with full bellies for the first time in a month.

Fast forward a few months. Summer is here and the water is warming up. The supply of fish is dwindling as they seek the cooler water of the deeper pools and eddies out of reach of our caveman. He waits all day in the hot sun without catching any fish. As he munches some berries, one falls in to the water and floats away. He watches it bob downstream until a large fish rises to the surface and inhales the berry then disappears beneath the water.

Mr. Caveman thinks, “Aha! Fish like berries.” So he drops another one in to the stream. A little ways downstream a fish gulps it down and disappears once more. As the evolutionary gears start creakily turning in his head (lubricating oil hasn’t been invented yet) he turns and throws a berry a little ways upstream. He readies his spear arm as the berry floats back down to him, then past him and on downstream where it is again eaten by a rather large fish.

:::creak::: :::creak::: :::creak::: The gears turn.

Caveman takes a berry between his fingers and holds it under the water. A fish flashes in to grab the berry. Its tail splashes water in his face as it turns to run to freedom. Half-blinded he lunges with his spear missing the fish by a good two feet but neatly slicing open the hand that held the berry. Another night with no fish.

The next morning he takes his berries to the stream. Placing a berry between his toes he starts to step in to the stream. For some reason he hesitates. He looks at his spear. He looks at his foot. He looks at his hand. With a disgusted grimace he squishes the berry between his toes and rinses his foot in the stream then goes to find some nuts for lunch.

As Caveman forages through the undergrowth for something to eat, his foot catches on a vine. He tries to shake it off but the vine just becomes more entangled. Too lazy to reach down and untangle the vine, he kicks furiously throwing himself off balance. Our caveman crashes to the ground. As he lays there stunned and feeling stupid he notices a bunch of little red berries a few feet from his face. He looks at the berries. He looks at the vine around his ankle. He looks back at the berries and slowly smiles.

A half hour later our caveman is standing in the stream once more, spear in hand. A vine about two feet long is tied to his ankle. The other end of the vine is attached to a berry bunch. Here come the fish. It’ll be good eatin’ tonight!

rm_Swing4play40 51F
44 posts
6/9/2006 9:14 am

Wow, very interesting story, I enjoyed it... you are right, I am going to let my girl dangle some berries over her clit and I'm gonna lick away.
Happy hunting

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