The Fuck Buddy  

rm_SammiSaysTo 44F
1085 posts
7/13/2006 9:47 pm

Last Read:
7/18/2006 12:50 pm

The Fuck Buddy


Since I just had a conversation about this tonight and then read about it in another's blog, I thought I would weigh in with my two cents worth.

Does the fuck buddy really exist? Can you have a 'no strings' type of relationship? Most definately, but it doesn't always happen. Allow me to elaborate with a few good and bad examples.

First there is B. While I have only had sex with B two times, I would say he falls into this category. He is always in/out of town, so I don't see him that often, obviously, if we have only had sex twice! But the only way to describe it is that the only thing we have in common is the good sex. I know this may sound bad, but I have not had a lengthy conversation with him ever. Our conversation is pretty much, "are you around?" From there it is on. We meet, have some great sex and then say "cya later". In fact, I think if I were to talk with him..I would be greatly disappointed.

Then there is S. Now S on the other hand, I chatted with online for three months before we actually met. He is very intellectual and I pretty sincere and stable. At first I was attracted to his intellect, but after having so-so sex, I put him in the category of a fuck buddy. However, because of our schedules never clicking, he will soon be deleted from my 'buddy list'.

Then there is N (*huge grin*). He would be my best example of a fucky buddy. We have only slept together once...only because he moved three hours away. N is such an old soul in a 24 year old body. I think he knows more about the 80's than I do! Not sure why I didn't fall for him....not only is he sweet, honest and sincere, he is just a good guy. Very attractive, but maybe I just knew off the bat since he was so young, it would never work. While we haven't been together in months, I still talk to him pretty frequently. I have been invited to stay the weekend with him, but just can't justify a three hour drive for sex, even great all weekend sex...well maybe I need to rethink that.

Now for a few examples of where I wished there were more than just the fuck part:

We will start with J. I met J personally on Christmas Eve. He had an amazing sense of humor with a cute preppy boy style. I just love it when he is wearing his button down shirt and tie..I just want to grab him by that tie and lead him into the..sorry, getting off track. Now this is again an example of someone who is way younger than me (25), however, doesn't act like it. He is very stable, has a life and actually fits all the qualities I would seek in another for a relationship. He couldn't fit my mold any better. He is extremely complimentary, very dirty, but in a shy boy way, and makes me feel completely sexy when I am with him. The sex is very good however..very sporadic..it seems I see him every two months or so. I think I have seen him four times in the last six months. Wish it were more, but I would never push it. I love exploring things with him. He is so open. I am trying to convince him to join my little Omaha meet n greet group here, but not sure if I can convince him! I think I scared him when I brought up the idea of swinging with others...lol.

Then to M we go. Looking back on this, I went into this thinking that all I was looking for was a fuck buddy, however, I starting feeling something I hadn't before and thought there might have been a chance for something more. Now this was a different experience as I actually met him out of the blue, with no expectations. The conversation was easy with him, it just felt natural. I looked forward to our conversations and just would have been happy with being friends..just friends. However, I got inpatient and rushed it. The sex was good, but a different good. It was the kind of good that comes from having a connection with another. However..like I said, I rushed it and that will be another situation of; woulda, coulda, shoulda. But that is neither here nor there. I would like to think we are friends..just lower case 'f' friends.

So after getting this down, I am thinking it has to be the state of mind you are in when you meet that person. It also depends on your emotional state when you are having the sex. If you are just having the sex for sex's sake..then it can work, but if you are looking to fill the void, it won't work.

Wow...you are either reading this thinking I am A: really easy B: really skanky C: a crazy bitch. I would like to go for the crazy bitch. I am just a woman who is exploring what she wants and likes and learning on the way. Whyat I have learned is that one should just go with the flow and have no expectations. Don't put pressure on others and as long as everyone is respectful and honest about why they want...its all good! Isn't that what life is all about?

Feel free to comment..would like to hear your experiences or how you feel about the subject...

If you can't laugh, what's the fucking point!


funintheday2006 57M
9659 posts
7/14/2006 5:18 am

Correct. No judgements from this corner about anyone. You want it, go for it, they are your shoes you're walking in.


rm_SammiSaysTo 44F
872 posts
7/14/2006 6:46 am

Fun...you are right..and I am just finding the shoes that fit me perfectly!

If you can't laugh, what's the fucking point!


campnhappy 48M

7/14/2006 9:12 am

First of all, you're none of those things you listed. I doubt you would fuck just anybody, so you're not that easy. And I've met you so I can can say for sure you're not skanky. The crazy part I'm not sure of, but the bitch part is definitely out.

So this maybe be an unpopular theory here, but I'll put it out there anyway. There are a fuckload of people in this world that are borderline sex addicts. Not in the "holy shit I love sex" way, but in the clinical unhealthy way. I'm talking about what most people would think of as a slut, be they male or female. They don't care who you are, what you like, what you want, or even what you look like. They're in it strictly to get laid and move on.

That, I believe, is what a lot of people think of as a fuck buddy. Not a friend with benefits, just someone to fuck once in a while. And I have to believe that there is some serious emotional issue with someone that can go through life with just a series of fuck buddies. If you don't have at least some emotional attachment, whats the point? I think "normal" people can agree that sex is an emotional act. And when it isn't, it loses a lot of the pleasure and can become torturous.

This isn't to say that its all bad. Most people go through a semi-slut phase at one time or another. A simple one night stand with someone you know can be quite fun.

But the one thing I've learned recently is that there are a lot of people that say they want a fuck buddy or no-strings, but when it comes right down to it, they really do want the strings. They really do hope to find "the one" even on a sex site where they say its only about sex.


rm_SammiSaysTo 44F
872 posts
7/14/2006 2:43 pm

Very good insight, Camp. I guess I should have elaborated a few things for those who don't know me. Going ten years without sex, maybe I am craving the intimacy. That is something I have been trying to figure out. Even though I am in my early thirties, sexually, I feel like I am in my early twenties. Even though I know I am making mistakes along the way, the important thing is that I learn from those mistakes. The only problem is, at times I can be a slow learner!

Maybe I am just trying to fuck like a guy. You know, without the emotional attachment. Who knows. My thoughts on the subject change daily. Maybe I am going through my 'slut phase'..lol. The hardest part to this whole thing is that most of my thoughts contradict each other.

I also agree about your sex addict theory. There are tons of research on the subject out there. While we all have had our 'coyote ugly' fucks, I hope I don't fall into the category of an addict!

If you can't laugh, what's the fucking point!


concretejock 39M

7/14/2006 3:49 pm

This is an interesting blog/conversation... I'm gonna have to check this out later on... A good friend/fuck buddy... Ummmmmmmmmmm.... I'm gonna think about this.


rm_SammiSaysTo 44F
872 posts
7/14/2006 11:30 pm

CJ....come one..share your thoughts with me...don't be shy!

If you can't laugh, what's the fucking point!


rm_SammiSaysTo 44F
872 posts
7/16/2006 8:20 pm

Thank you Logthing for your input..it is nice to know I am not the only one out there that feels that way. I agree, it is all about the timing, especially when you have two people involved. Both have to be on the same page at the same time.

If you can't laugh, what's the fucking point!


sweetmimilove 52F
1095 posts
7/18/2006 9:30 am

So many men...so little time - that was my saying in college.


rm_SammiSaysTo 44F
872 posts
7/18/2006 12:50 pm

A bus comes by every fifteen minutes....isn't that what you said MIMI?

If you can't laugh, what's the fucking point!


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