Nurses  

rm_SammiSaysTo 45F
1085 posts
8/15/2006 8:03 pm

Last Read:
2/1/2008 6:34 pm

Nurses

I found this while looking for Murphy's Law..it is hillarious...I think I will print it out and put it on my office door!

To all the Nurses out there, this one is for YOU!

NURSES' LAW

You always forget what it was you wanted after you get to the supply room. You always remember when you get back to the other end ...

Doctors only ask your name when the patient isn't doing well.

Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the boss is watching.

As soon as you've ordered the pizzas, 25 patients show up at the ER registration desk along with three ambulances all with cardiac arrests!

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Ten seconds after you have finished giving a complete bed bath and changing the bed, the patient has a giant code brown.

If a patient needs four pills, the packet will contain three.

Your buddies who were reading the paper at the nurses' desk a minute ago always disappear when you need help ...

Expect to get your pay raise the same day the hospital raises the parking rates (and other charges)

The better job you do, the more work you can expect to be handed ...

The amount of clean linen available is inversely proportional to your immediate needs.

The more confused and impulsive a patient is, the less chance there is for a family member or friend to sit with the patient.

The perfect nurse for the job will apply the day after that post is filled by some semi qualified idiot. (SOOOO TRUE!)

If only one solution can be found for a problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.

When the nurse on the preceding shift has surrounded the patient with absorbent pads, the code brown will hit every sheet and miss every pad. (Code Brown=SHIT)

Rest assured that when you are in a hurry, the nurse's notes have not been written.

When you are starting an IV on an uncooperative patient, or dealing with a huge code brown, there is a phone call for you and it's that crabby physician that you have been paging all morning.

Fire drills always occur on your day from hell

The first person in line when the clinic opens will not require urgent care. The sickest person will arrive 5 minutes before closing: "I thought I'd feel better"

The Nursing Catch-22:
If you're running around horribly busy, you're unorganized and need to prioritize, but if you're not running around horribly busy, you're lazy and need to find more work to do

You do the "Just discharged the Patient from Hell" dance only to turn around and find the Consultant Neuro-Psychiatrist looking at you like you're their next patient.

Last thing you want to hear a doctor say is 'whoops'

MY FAVORITE:

When you need the money, your shift is cancelled; when you have a weekend planned, you have to do overtime.


If you can't laugh, what's the fucking point!


rm_Annique3 53F
2 posts
8/17/2006 9:34 pm

God bless Nurses - for the ability to deal with code browns and all the other shit!


rm_SammiSaysTo 45F
872 posts
8/20/2006 9:42 pm

Thanks Annique! It is such a thankless job, but ya know what, I am in it for the money---NOT...lol.

If you can't laugh, what's the fucking point!


prairieflyer 50M

10/15/2006 8:28 pm

OMG that is funnier than code brown.

OMG did I really just write that? I should go now before I make a bigger fool of myself ...


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