There is the Anti-Christ, Then Me, The Anti-Romeo  

rm_Rico0825 56M
319 posts
5/12/2006 3:57 pm

Last Read:
5/15/2006 6:58 pm

There is the Anti-Christ, Then Me, The Anti-Romeo

Yeap, that be Rico0825 (AKA) Bob.

We all have had a sexual misadventures. Bad lays, etc..

But I have seemed to master it. These two stories will give you a view into my world.

First Story

This dates back to my mid-twenties. I returned home from a rare Saturday softball practice. It was hot and humid as it usually is in Jersey in August. I took a look into the fridge, not a damn thing to eat, accept for ketchup or mustard.

So I decide I would head out to my regular watering hole for a few beers and a batch of wings. I was really starving, so I made a quick change of clothes,, threw on some Shower to Shower. And blasted a good amount into my sneaks. Had a bad habit of going without socks , which can get your sneaks smelling rank like a skunk. I figured no biggy, juts gone to grab a bite to eat and then head back home and chill out.

Well bars in Jersey on a Saturday, in the summer are usually pretty dead. Most people are down the shore. Only people that remain are the sorry suckers who had to work etc. Well at that age at least.

So I get to my usual hang out. A few friends and regulars are present, playing pool, pinball, and darts. I was getting pissed that I had already put like 5 bucks into the jukebox, as I finished off a game of pinball.

Suddenly there were two new women at the bar. Out of place, was the best way to describe them. Dressed very well, classy, and 40 to 45 in age.

So I bitching to my friend Bill, I'm tired of playing all the songs. I'm at the jukebox, when one of these women came up and handed me a $10 bill. She told me she would trust me to play good music, I was doing a good job so far. She asked who owned the construction truck outside. I answered it was mine. She asked if I did side work. She needed a new exhaust fan in her kitchen and could I do that. She had just bought a new home and put in a new kitchen but the old exhaust didn't match her restaurant style stove set.

Next thing I know she asks her friend if she minded if she drove me to her house, or does she want to go. Her friend said, no go ahead. I have a few drinks while I wait.

So I head to my truck, but she insists I ride with her. On the way to her house she told me she was a widow, and laughed. Told me her husband was a real bastard with a good life insurance policy. Best thing that ever happened to her. She went on about all the things she was buying for her new home. Antiques, rugs, special tile, you name it, everything top shelf.

So we get to her home, in a nearby town on the river bank. When you live along the Delaware River, you got the bucks in our area.

So, I think we are about to do an estimate, when she pours me a glass of wine and asks me to sit down. Next thing I know this women is sucking my dick!!! Right in the middle of a great blowjob she gets up and tells me to be undressed by the time she returns. So I did as she said, and dropped my clothes in this corner by her fire place. Noticed some candles, that had been used before. I figure I'd have them lit and a romantic atmosphere when she returned. I shut the lights down.

She returns and says, "OH, I wanted you to see me in my cute little nightie. She put the lights back on. She looked so hot for a second, then I saw her eyes look to the floor.

All I saw was imprints of my feet made by Shower to Shower powder on her rug. You could trace most of the steps I took while she was gone. She starts yelling, "What the fuck did you do to my carpet. Do you now how much this costs? You better get this cleaned up you bastard." Then she runs and get a wash rag and water. I'm telling her it's just powder, don't use water on it, just vacuum it up. She says she doesn't own one, this house had wood floors before. Besides her maid service did her cleaning???? Never knew anyone that didn't own a vacumm???? Until that day, that is.

Then she points at me and says, "Get your pants on ." I did and then started to put on my shirt and shoes when she said,"NO, I said your pants, now get the fuck out!!!" As she is throwing one of my sneaks at me.!!!LOL

So I end up getting my shirt and sneaks on outside her house. I start walking to the nearby 7-11, were I could call my friend at the bar from a pay phone. For you youngsters, cell phones weren't the norm at this time. On my way she passes by me and yells out, "You Fucking Asshole!!! Ruin my rug." I'm yelling back, "It was just fucking powder, you crazy Psycho Hose Beast!!!" Don't ask, it was just a saying we had at the time.

I get to the 7-11 and call the bar. My friend say," Dude what the fuck did you do to that women? She came in freaking the fuck out to her friend."

I told him I got Shower to Shower on her rug. He laughed and said,"Bullshit, not the way this lady is acting, has to be more to the story."

I said, "just shut up and come pick me up, will ya."

He did and thank God they were gone when we got back. But all my friends were busting on me, saying only I could fuck it up, when a women had already had her lips wrapped around me!!!!LOL

So true, so true, that be Rico0825.

And you wonder why her husband died of a heart attack at age 45??

Well this story ran a little long. I'll do the other in separate post. I can only type so long before my mind starts spinning.

Need some music. Hope ya all enjoyed my misfortune. I still laugh at it to this day. What a crazy assed gal that was???

sexyariesgirl 59F

5/12/2006 4:55 pm

OMG BABY!!!!!!!!! Too funny !!!!

Power To FOK

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