Pine Cones and REAL Life  

rm_RandomXS2 63M
63 posts
8/16/2006 8:50 pm

Last Read:
10/6/2006 11:38 am

Pine Cones and REAL Life

OK, I live in the mountains - after living in the Sonoran Desert for 20+ years. I'm surrounded by trees and I LOVE it! The change in perspective has been wonderfully restorative.

This spring I found a GIANT pine cone on the hill behind my place (I was out collecting abandoned beer cans that had been left behind when the neighbors went sledding down the hill after the snows...) that has found a home on the railing of my deck all summer. Once in a while I'll bang it against the railing and pine nuts will fall out and get flicked out onto the hill/back yard.

The interesting thing I noticed is that each "node" of the cone holds TWO seeds. Nature seems to love that two into one symmetry. (Yeah, I know - I need a hobby!) So I got to thinking...

Part of the thing that got me divorced is that two BECAME one - and each of us felt that we'd lost something in the bargain that what we'd gained in the union could not replace. Suddenly that pine cone showed me the difference...from ONE came TWO instead of from TWO comes ONE. The union (whether in pine cones, in marriage, relationships - or just sex) should enable BOTH to become MORE than they could ever be alone without dimminishing either. Tough goal - BIG challenge - but that's the way it's designed to work.

Nobody ever promised that life would be easy. Sometimes the lessons hurt like hell!

So some stuff has happened this week that sorta brings this metaphysical and philosophical horsedip into focus...

FINALLY went out with a friend with whom I've been supposed be be "going out" with for the last 4 to 6 months (I forget, it's been so long!) Gorgeous - cheekbones to die for, jawline that's absolutely CLASSIC (if ya know me ya know why THAT'S important!) great hair and doesn't qualify as "Ruebenesque" (If you don't know what that means you've no business reading this blog. EVER!) We had a great time - we both paint (oils) write (primarily SF) have similar tastes in music, etc.

BUT - she's VERY straight - Don't drink, don't smoke - What DO you do???? (Adam Ant, for those who missed the musical reference...) and while it's true that I married a Jehovah's Witness and introduced her to the concept of multiple orgasms - and lots of other stuff - over 10 years, I'm not real sure I'm up to taking on that challenge again. Or dealing with the inevitable crash. I'm sorta "crash adverse" at this point.

Another friend is ABSOLUTELY the sexiest woman I've ever met and I'd be all over her in a heartbeat - if we missed a spot we'd do it again and AIM! There's nothing classically beautiful about her (she's gorgeous nonetheless) - her sexiness comes from INSIDE - outsides change over time - insides matter. But she's in a relationship that, for reasons that remain mysterious to me, she thinks, beyond all reason, she can salvage.

Then there is the newest... (I'm skipping over a bunch of extremely desirable women about which I could write any number of blogs...) She's cute and vivacious and I was entirely smitten the first time I saw her. Seems her husband dumped papers on her because he didn't find her "exciting."

WTF???? I'll confess that I don't know the dude. Never met him. But it sounds to me like a terrible lack of imagination on HIS part. I'll confess that "unexciting" is NOT a situation that I've ever encountered. Toss in the unexpected, go over the top, INVENT something outrageous. DON'T tell me you find your wife "unexciting" - I REALLY don't get that! God help me if I EVER get so jaded that making love to (OK - having sex with...) a beautiful woman is "unexciting" ya may as well shoot me!

I'll show her the meaning of "exciting" - what I most want is for her to NOT experience what I went through - a prolonged period of doubting myself as a man, a person, a friend, and a lover. FUCK THAT!!! Nobody needs to get that burned or to suffer that much doubt about their own worthiness. It's taken a LONG time for me to climb out of the hole that she tossed me into (or that I tumbled into voluntarily.)

If I can help it I won't let that happen to anyone else.

Besides, I think to could be a VERY enjoyable rescue mission...

Steel_Legs 60M/F

8/20/2006 4:05 am

Your explanation and tone make your experience clear for me, or maybe it's coupled with a great deal of similarity in the saga.

I've found that I cannot be too honest when I began the dating process again. I honestly think many of the available women in my age range have been so terribly hurt and abused, that they are not accustomed to being treated nicely. Nothing magnificent, just fairly and politely, with respect and decency.

It's a damn shame, because they're are some terrific women who have been taught that they are not worth the affection of a good man.


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