The Crap Table  

rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
12865 posts
7/28/2006 5:16 pm
The Crap Table

Last night I got thrown out of the casino. I completely misunderstood the crap table.
I know a guy at the casino who won’t gamble. He just watches the games and makes mental bets. Last week, he lost his mind.

The wife of a doctor rang the casino to get her husband paged. They refused. The house didn’t make doctor calls.

At the casino I lost so badly I had to sell the car in the car park. The people at Hertz are going to be really angry.

I’m going to the casino tonight. I hope I break even. I need the money.

Crown Casino in Melbourne is very “high-tech”. They’ve got special areas, like the Oak Room and thew Mahogany Room. Alice Springs Casino, on the other hand, is a little more basic. They’ve got the Chipboard Room and the Corrugated Iron Room.

In Vegas, they’ll bet on anything. One casino was ready to let me bet on whether I’d win or lose there.

Launceston must have the quietest casino in the world. I played poker. It was what I had to do wake up the dealer.

As I walked in the casino, I passed some Siamese twins on their way out. I said, “Did you win?”
They said, “Yes and no.”

I had nothing to do, so just for a laugh I went to the casino. In three hours I’d laughed away my car.

The dealers at Sydney’s casino really hate you winning. I won $100 at roulette and the croupier said, “I’ll toss you, double or nothing.”

I walked around the casino with a pocket full of chips. I’m still trying to get the smell of vinegar out of my trousers.

The casino in Alice Springs is a bit backward. They don’t even have Keno. Instead, they’ve got as girl who comes up to your table and says, “Okay, I’m thinking of a number between one and ten…”

With gamblers, they say a fool and his money are soon parted. What I want to know is how did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

I think gambling was invented as a tax on people who are bad at mathematics.

I think gambling is a great way to get nothing for something.

"What'll you have, Normie?"
"Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap."
"Looks like beer, Norm."
"Call me Mister Lucky."

Rodney Dangerfield joined Gamblers Anonymous. They gave him three-to-one he wouldn't make it.

I promise I am going to write about our trip with MG and Mr Magic Fingers soon!

Purry {=}


rm_Shortdogg65 52M
672 posts
7/28/2006 6:35 pm

Either i've completely missed the humor in that last line or you had a laughingly good time. Shortdogg

BlackHeatLust 48M

7/28/2006 7:59 pm

I have only been to two casino's which were Las Vegas of course and over in Reno.

I have yet to visit Atlantic City...but my friends tell me that it is very nice indeed.

ThumbChickStool 34F

7/28/2006 11:49 pm

Ah, all the familiar jokes... Growing up in my town **cough* Vegas*cough, cough**, you get to hear certain things, corny or otherwise. But here is my favorite 'gambling' advice:
"Never hit on a woman in the poker room. More often than not they are someone else's arm candy, and you will get your ass kicked."

everyone's favorite Las Vegas native

LustyTaurus 49M
21253 posts
7/29/2006 1:54 am

Any of the above is reason enough for me not to gamble...

DrSpots 60M

7/30/2006 8:03 am

As far as how a fool and his money get together in the first place I think we need to ask Donald Trump. Probably from Daddy, is my guess.

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