Live life one day at a time and count your blessings daily!  

rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
12865 posts
4/21/2006 4:19 am

Last Read:
4/26/2006 6:45 pm

Live life one day at a time and count your blessings daily!

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto The blockage will be almost
instantly removed.


2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.


4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.


6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.


Remember:

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.


If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan

Purry {=}


Purry


oldude1946 72M

4/21/2006 4:26 am

Way too much information, now I'll be thinking about that stuff all day


blogginOnly 60F

4/21/2006 4:28 am

awwwwwww Purry.......leave it to you to brighten everyone's day!!!!!!! Keep smilin' sweetie, its contagious!!!


rm_LoyalCumpany 47M
3204 posts
4/21/2006 4:30 am

Should I be embarassed if I've actually done #3?

I am JoJo the Circus Boy!


toothysmile 52M
16517 posts
4/21/2006 4:34 am

...and leave nice comments for everyone, otherwise no one will visit your blog... lol...


starlinnq 52F

4/21/2006 4:59 am

I might try the mouse trap on the alarm clock. I have a bad habit of hitting the snooze button one too many times!
Thank you purry for helping me get up in the morning.
Smiles...
Starlinn


boydcounty 68M

4/21/2006 5:01 am

This is my favorite. Men, you might want to turn away. This will hurt!

Get rid of the crabs by laying your balls on the window sill and slamming the window shut!


-boydcounty-


Djeeper1987 48M

4/21/2006 5:12 am

hehehehe..Cute.

Carpe Diem


bluegirl39 51F

4/21/2006 5:32 am

love it ..made me smile this morning


RevJoseyWales 70M/67F
14393 posts
4/21/2006 5:59 am

    Quoting boydcounty:
    This is my favorite. Men, you might want to turn away. This will hurt!

    Get rid of the crabs by laying your balls on the window sill and slamming the window shut!

Nah, you shave half your crotch, pour lighter fluid on the other half. Light it, and then stab them with a fork as the escape the fire. It'll work.

Great post for a Friday morning Purry. Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."


Babel__Fish 46F

4/21/2006 6:00 am

    Quoting toothysmile:
    ...and leave nice comments for everyone, otherwise no one will visit your blog... lol...
LMAO @ toothy


curvymeli 40F

4/21/2006 6:12 am

Hahahaha, love it Purry! Hope this means your week is brightening up (just in time for the weekend)!


rm_teddybare426 60M
487 posts
4/21/2006 6:32 am

Words to live by


Kaliedascope61 43M
4084 posts
4/21/2006 6:35 am

dats a gudin!


honeycomb1974 45M/44F
282 posts
4/21/2006 6:54 am

I'm glad to see you are in a better mood. I hope this weekend is even better for you. I have missed your funny post. Have a great one! Honey


angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
4/21/2006 7:00 am

Great thoughts to start my day! Thanks Purry!


Whispersoftly5 53F
15176 posts
4/21/2006 7:17 am

Purry - I've been checking out your blog and love it! This post is great! The mousetrap on alarm clock idea is the one that made me giggle the most. I should use that trick!!!

Whisper...


n0tatalker 40M

4/21/2006 8:52 am

That reminds me of why I never take a shower, cuz I'm just gonna get stinky again tomorrow?

grrrr,


powerstroke92 62M

4/21/2006 9:43 am

That is a really cool post! I'm taking everthing you said to heart.


pragmaticCTcpl 63M/51F

4/21/2006 10:04 am

Very funny Purry!!!


RoyalPurpleRose 53F

4/21/2006 10:08 am

Thanks Purry! I always come here when I need a laugh.

My daughter is already picking out my nursing home! Right in the middle of caroling last Christmas. She said 'Ya know Mom, I think this is a pretty nice place. YOU & DAD would be happy here.' If our Pastor hadn't been standing right there, I woulda smacked her!

~Kisses, RPR


sexyariesgirl 59F

4/21/2006 10:16 am

Oh Purry! I can always depend on you to brighten my day! Thanks so much and I'm glad you're apparently feeling better. I've been suffering from the Spring Blahs myself and am also feeling better....maybe THAT'S contagious! Have a great weekend.

Power To FOK


imLadyBambi 59M/51F

4/21/2006 11:42 am

I am sick with pneumonia today and feel really crappy and reading your blog did brighten my day and made me laugh a little.

THANKS!!

Lady Bambi


ArtisticTwist75 42F
2505 posts
4/21/2006 1:12 pm

Soooo Funny Purry. My sides hurt.

Artistic


aascrompn 43M
6444 posts
4/21/2006 1:47 pm

That was a great laugh!! Thanks.


SacredStarDance

4/21/2006 1:47 pm

LMAO..... Glad your in better spirits have a wonderful weekend

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat


spacecadet561 61M

4/21/2006 2:20 pm

As an added bonus, if you change your mind about the duct tape the WD-40 will help loosen it.

SpaceCadetรน


bigknob1958 54M

4/21/2006 6:13 pm

What a lovely blog...you make me smile always!!!!!!!!!!!!


Knot4Everyone 41F

4/21/2006 7:29 pm

What great advice! I may actually have to try #5 - I have a problem with the snooze button!


GoddessOfTheDawn 106F
11240 posts
4/22/2006 2:44 am


~smilez~ very nice thoughtz.... LOL


warmandsexy52 66M
13164 posts
4/23/2006 2:54 am

Very very funny! Loved the advice. Will follow!

warm xx


runzwithknives 61F

4/23/2006 3:32 pm

ROFLMAO Thanks for this!


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