Blast from the Past  

rm_Ptalk1155 35M
3428 posts
4/16/2006 10:08 pm

Last Read:
4/18/2006 7:13 pm

Blast from the Past

So, one of the disadvantages to being my age is that on the holidays when your family drags you out to someplace like church is that there's a considerble possiblity that you'll see or run into someone equally such-dragged.

In my case, I happened to be not too far from my high school crush, who still naturally looked as beautiful as ever. And, I'm still just me just a little older and a little bit least wise enough not to go lusting after some girl just because I think she looks good, or so one would think.

Fortunately, on this particular occasion the most I had to endure were some glances my way, probably prompted by me half-staring in that general direction. (I'm a surreptitious sort by nature, so I'm careful not to be looking directly at anyone since you can't get caught if you don't look.) At first I had to figure out if it was her (saw her brother first and thought to myself "well if he's here, and he's older..."). Actually, I missed her entirely initially, thinking she was someone else, because she had dyed her hair slightly redder and she was shorter than the people around her.

Anyway, rambling aside, it's rather irritating to be sitting/standing (I think mass was designed as a workout video first) there reliving my high school years while thinking about how retarded I had to be to follow that girl around all over the place ontop of all the other dumb shit I did.

And the really irritating thing was simply that when I got finished with that (it was a long mass) I started wondering what the alternatives would've been like. I turned three shades of red in embarassment and anger when I realized I was standing a little straighter with my chest puffed out and my muscles slightly flexed in some sort of weird hope she might see me and suddenly decide she made a huge mistake never dating me in high school or some other nonsense and make it a point to come say hello afterwards. Man that kind of thought really pisses me off. You'd think I'd have outgrown that nonsense, particularly since I'm the kind of person who prides himself on being above that.

And, the icing on the cake is that I know the only reason I'm interested in her is because I think she's beautiful. She's a very sweet girl and all (though looking back I imagine it was just patronizingly sweet), but we have pretty much nothing in common, at all.

Fortunately, I managed to usher my family out of the church and to the car with as much haste as could be mustered such that there was no chance of us actually having to speak to one another.

Then I ended up at my Uncle's and spent a good few more hours reliving other crappy moments in my life while having my other failings pointed out repeatedly. I sat there wondering how it is my cousin gets out of these family things so damned easily. At least there was cheesecake...

So yeah, how was your Easter? Better than that I hope.

Oh, side note, I forgot to mention I'll be leaving for another convention this week, so I'll be vanishing for a little while starting Thursday and ending Monday. Hope you all don't miss me too much.

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