Disappointment and confusion  

rm_Psygnosis300 42M
7 posts
3/26/2006 4:06 pm

Last Read:
3/26/2006 6:53 pm

Disappointment and confusion

You know when you start something new you have nothing but the utmost belief that it will be good, that all the work you put into it will be worth it? I'm sure most of you can sit back and think of a time when you started something new with the greatest intentions of how the outcome is.

I must admit, I'm a little bit disenfranchised with the AdultFriendFinder website. I'm not a negative person, but let me explain:

First, I have the moniker of being recently divorced. For some reason, that seems to be akin to the scarlet letter to most people. What most don't realize is that my ex-wife and I left our marriage amicably. We had grown apart and realized that marriage was not the best type of relationship between the two of it. We are still good friends, but realize that any kind of romantic relationship would simply confuse the already tender situation. I recently received a message from a woman from another site that accused me of faking a divorce to make it look like I was available because I was looking for discretion in the relationship. That couldn't be further from the truth. Discretion is always a must when starting a new relationship, be it friends, friends with benefits, fuck buddies, whatever you want to call it.

Secondly, (and this is pure conjecture), I believe that the male/female ratio on AdultFriendFinder is way out of proportion. From the profiles on women that I see, it would seem like most of that reason is married men looking for affairs. Don't believe me? Take a random sampling of female profiles that say some form of "married/separated men need not apply." I can't even imagine the amount of messages a female gets on here.

Third, I'm a single male. Many upon many posts are couples looking for females or couples. Ironically, I'm here to find someone to become a couple with so we can find other couples to do couple stuff together!

Lastly, there must be something with my picture and/or profile. I have seen the people that look at my profile and these are people I would like to get to know better. So, I send them a message, they look at the profile, and nothing. So, I'm going to ask everyone out there for help. What is it? What is it that is keeping me from getting any kind of response? Is it the attitude in my profile? My pictures? My rantings on the blog? I'm not bitter or angry, just honestly curious and very confused.

Thanks all...talk to you soon

JustASingleGirl2 50F
719 posts
3/26/2006 5:05 pm

Hi Psygnosis300, I read your profile and I think I know what's the deal. You're "too deep" in your profile. If you scroll through most of the male profiles on here, you will see one msg...I am here to find sex! Yours seems to talk more about you, as a profile should. If you lived closer to me, I would have sent you a msg after viewing your profile (I too have people-usually married men or couples- that view me and never send a msg). The way I see it, if they don't send me a msg, it's their loss and you should feel the same way.

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

rm_Psygnosis300 replies on 3/26/2006 6:55 pm:
Well, JustASingleGirl2 (may I call you JustA?), I thank you deeply for your suggestions. Unfortunatly, I was not able to send you a personalized thank you through your profile, so I'll do it here.

I sincerely appreciate your time and effort to come here and send me that message. You could have just passed it by but you didn't and I thank you for that!

imLadyBambi 59M/51F

3/26/2006 5:54 pm


I have to agree with Just Single. Your profile just does not scream, "I'm a sexy guy," "I'm fun to be with," "I'm the one for you." Instead, it really says, "I'm a stable guy - the one you eventually will want to marry after you have fun with the rest of the guys out there."

Try this... select a few women that you are interested in. Then, based on their profile, re-write yours (still be honest) so that you will appeal to them.

Sorry for being so blunt but I hope this helps.

Lady Bambi

bluegirl39 51F

3/26/2006 6:18 pm

yes your profile is a little long and many women read over the basics of each profile and move on...to long and they get boered or think oh my goodness he can talk..lol...best of luck in your search....

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