Memories - Reality or Editing  

rm_PetiteNSassy 35F
29 posts
1/25/2006 8:55 pm

Last Read:
8/14/2008 9:22 pm

Memories - Reality or Editing


Sometimes I wonder if what makes a memory good is the natural editing we all do. And for that matter, can a memory be trusted as fact?

I wrote a research paper recently on Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (One of my all time favorites, I recommend it to all) as a work of Post Modernism and specifically memories as copies of an original based on the theories of Jean Baudrillard (who by the way was the influence the writers of the Matrix used as their concept). In an extremely watered down Reader's Digest version, Baudrillard suggests that there is no such thing as an original or reality; that we are all living in a sort of hyper reality and that everything is a copy of a copy of a copy. An original can never exist and that eventually these new copies replace the originals and BECOME the new original. We see this in fashion quite often with the revival of old styles given new "hip" twists. (Whew! I know it's heavy for a blog but stay with me). I took my paper a step further and suggested memories are copies of originals which eventually replace the original. In other words, memories can't be original's because the original doesn't exist.

Sooo, to get back to my original point now that you're sufficiently reeling I wonder if our memories create situations that didn't exist- do we edit memories in such a way that we can never hope to be that happy again because we were never that happy in the first place. We see it in older generations (no offense to those of you who are older, I mention you because you have more experience than us younguns ;* ) who constantly say, "Back in my day." But have you noticed that they never mention the terrible things that were also going on despite being able to keep their doors unlocked and take people at their word? Or if they do mention it they give it a positive spin about how durable they were as a result. They don't mention the economic and social injustices that were happening right alongside their candy floss memories- at least they don't dwell on them. they mention them briefly and move on.

In that same vein I wonder if we do that same thing. Maybe I can never hope to have what I had in my last relationship because I never had it in the first place. Perhaps over time I've edited the pain out and preserved only the good; creating something of an ideal relationship. Perhaps that's not bad- perhaps it gives me something to aspire to. Or perhaps it prevents me from giving someone new a chance.

gudguywannabebad 48M

1/26/2006 12:07 am

handleYou seem to have a great point, but I'm not sure I agree. I see many cases in my life where this concept is true, where I remember the good or bad and "dismiss" the other, but can any memory exist with only one side intact. Memories change with time and circumstance so we must edit them to fit our place, so that part is right for sure. This is a great thought, very mind opening


nis_phd808 39M
1 post
1/28/2006 11:13 am

I find this interesting. I have an opinion on this and Ill mention later. I think i would see this as one reality that is constantly changinging on an instantaneous basis. that which is past has past and the future is coming. The exact present time you make a decision is the reality, and it is always changing and flowing. it is a good idea to look at the physiological aspect of this idea. It is basically true the mind cannot tell much difference between what it sees presently and what it remembers. Visions of the future being memories without an actual experience. some of them linger and you find yourself saying things like "I swear I did that", but you obviously didnt.

What does this have to do with your happiness? A big bunch. Happiness, or any emotion, is controlled by hormones. These hormones for the most part are made in the brain. They are released into the rest of the body when the brain deems it necessary. People can and easily are addicted to hormoes in their own bodies. Some will laugh at things that arent funny to feel good. Some will find the worst thing in every situation to satisfy a hormone craving.

This all get a little complex at the cellular level. But, basically these hormones can only enter or stimulate the cells of the body though certain ports made for that hormone. Simply put the round hormone cannot enter a cell through a square door. I you lack happiness and are depressed often when the cell reproduces it has a keen knowledge to make extra doos for the hormones it sees more often and less of the doors for the less encountered hormones. Thus explaining why angry old people cant do anything but be angry. They have destroyed the ability to feel good about being happy.

Take this for what its worth. It is basically fact. It is a strange idea that your relationships are not about love so much as they are about the way you feel when you are "in love". Maybe try to find a more true love. Such as Agape, as refered by the greeks, love for no other reason than the sake of being.

Now that all the techno ramble is done......I say just have fun. Enjoy what you have while you have it. When you have kids I am sure things become a little different, but still. Enjoy, death is not choosy and when its time to go, you go. If I have regrets in my last momments I know I wont be happy.


Iw2glsts 39M

2/9/2008 10:25 pm

I've read somewhere that we only perceive things based on our own experiences. Thus, our memories of events past are biased based on our experiences... much like what nis was saying about the angry old people always being angry. However, I think that not only are our memories affected by our experiences that we had up to the point of the memory, but they are also affected by any experiences that happened later. For example, if you had a decent relationship that ended on good terms for whatever reason, and followed that up by several terrible relationships, you would idealize the decent relationship into being a really good relationship. However, if you followed those up with great relationships, it would resume its decent status. On the other hand, if you had several great relationships after the decent relationship without and bad ones, you would think of decent one as a bad one. Also, a relationship that you thought was damn good at the time can change when you have further knowledge about the events that were happening at the time.


rm_dbledown311 38M
1 post
3/8/2008 12:58 pm

I loved Eternal Sunshine, one of my favorite movies as well.....interesting thoughts on memory...


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