Stranger Love (NOT Stranger Sex)  

rm_Persephone36 50F
46 posts
3/9/2006 8:24 pm

Last Read:
5/1/2006 11:06 pm

Stranger Love (NOT Stranger Sex)


Is it possible to fall in love with someone you have never met?

I ask this question with great sincerity.

When I first started fooling around on line I had a seething cyber affair with a man somewhere in Scotland. Every morning I got up, did my chores, logged on, and waited for him to get home from his job (8 hours ahead). Then for three, four, five hours we IMed, cybered, sent photos back and forth, and otherwise communed. It was intimate and lovely. We acted in all ways like people in love: pet names, patterns of arousal, inside jokes....

Then it went POOF! The feelings disappeared (without ever being given a name) and we became good friends.

My next cyber affair was with a man in Spain. This one started more innocently, with long, meaningful letters, then progressed to IMs which hinted at growing affection.... After several weeks, we declared our love for one another (having never even had cyber sex). Eventually, we progressed to that, even with cams, and I swear the one instance when cams, sound, and circumstances clicked it was almost as good as the real thing.

Then he fell in love with someone else (closer to home) and broke my heart. And the heartbreak was right up there with the best heartbreaks of my life. And I had never met him.

Now, there is another man with whom I have had an on again off again cyber affair. We long to meet, we try not to say how we feel about one another, we try to not chat and return to it....
We MISS one another, without having ever met.

So how do these (all rather different)long distance affairs fit into the continuum of my life-long love affairs? I have to say, with the objectivity of time distance (Spain broke it off 8 months ago) that they rank. They rank. Because for me, important though physical touch is in a relationship, important though voice and smell and taste are in an affair...still words and ideas are more important. Well written letters and the spontaneous word cadences explored in a chat are enough. Not ideal, perhaps, but enough.

Is this the new breed of epistletory love?

nightis 54M

3/9/2006 11:28 pm

I feel for you Pers...

For most guys, "Brain Sex" can only go so far. Hell, I coined the term, but the relationship is about adventure, anticipation and the illicit connection. How many great relationships have you read about where the primary participants were pen pals the entire duration? The booklet will be fairly empty.

Voice, smell, taste, words and ideas may be enough for a woman and a few men. They are such romantic creatures and a guy can have those capabilities for a limited time. This just in though....men are animal, wanton, creatures; tactile in their own right; ultimately without a physical meeting, their attention span will go poof!

My heart goes out to you for your intentions are pure romanticism. That in itself has it own intrinsic significance. Value all relationships, but be sure to prioritize those that are the most promising!


rm_saabinsight 63M
2 posts
4/25/2006 1:57 pm

I fell what is important in any relationship is the sharing of oneself. Sharing, does it require a physical proximity to be real and significant? I think not. Discovery, the sharing of oneself, the giving, the opening up to another are the true building blocks of relationships. It matters not where or how the sharing came to be but that you have given of yourself.


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