I mean, how hard can it be?  

rm_OlaLitara 40M/40F
21 posts
3/2/2006 11:26 am

Last Read:
5/2/2007 6:25 am

I mean, how hard can it be?

Before I start off to say what I wanted to say - stand up all and put your hands together to welcome The Oge Retla to blog-shire.

When I upgraded my membership to Gold on AdultFriendFinder last November (and believe me when I say it wasn’t easy doing it from India), it was sheer bliss. Gone were the days of lurking around at the mercy of the more privileged members capable of initiating contact. I spent excited first-nights tirelessly browsing profiles, initiating contact, replying to replies, replying to replies to replies. I knew well that within a couple weeks me and my girl would meet a couple that’ll blow us away with their attitude, meet them over a drink, laugh like crazy all evening, get frisky, get into bed and walk away to paradise. And did I mention a couple that’ll blow us away with their attitude?

I mean, how hard can it be?.

The first two weeks were feverish - spent chatting with people, talking to them on phone, keeping notes of who’s who. And waiting. We heard from duds. And we waited. Waited for that couple that’ll do the blowing thing I was talking about, remember? This must be the dry season on AdultFriendFinder. I mean, I should have easily got laid by now. Who ever heard of waiting! Must be the winter of AdultFriendFinder.

And we did slip into winter. This winter was pathetic. I mean, I always liked the cold. But with temperatures touching 4.6 C, and I being too lazy to make a warm bed for myself, I was really bitten by the biting cold. But, fret not - AdultFriendFinder will soon show you the much needed relief.

At least, we wanted to believe so. But we met more duds. More morons. It must be really difficult to ask someone about what they like to do in life before asking "What’s your favorite position?". My favorite position is "my knee in your groin". Wanna try? Another classic was, "What’s your wife’s bra size?". "34 C ‒ did you find it?" And beat this: "I am as horny as bull. I can dig a field with my dick". "Please, don’t waste it on sex. India needs you.". Another one said "My number is 9xxxxxxxxx and phone me for solid fucking for your wife. You can also watch if you are like". "Oh thanks, generous prince! But can I do the dishes while you do her?". Another classic: "Don’t be senti. Take off your panti". No comments.

What ever happened to people who know how to talk! And what to talk! Who know just the right way to get THERE.

But relief DID come. In the form of a couple from Bangalore. We spoke to them on the phone. They were bold and knew what they wanted. The girl was unabashed. They spoke well. And my girl and I, so innocently slipped into phone sex with the guy even before we knew what was happening. And when it was over, we knew things are never gonna be the same again. If you know what I’m talking about, you know it’s not about sex. At least, it’s not ONLY about sex. But, more on the ethical part some other time.

So, does this mark the end of the AdultFriendFinder winters? Again, we wanted to believe so. We made plans to meet the couple in Bangalore and flew down for a day. Fate had it that he should fall ill and we had to make our way back. If it wasn’t crappy couples, it was illness. What a lovely couple that is, and what great time we would have had, hadn’t it been for that brush of bad luck.

So, back we were in Pune, looking all over again. Sifting through crappy resumes of guys with 7 inch dicks and 1/2 oz brains. Couples where the girl wants us to entertain the guy and she promises to jump in once she’s back in town (Yeah! Right!). We just went though the rigmarole of clenching our fists and politely refusing.

A week passed. Then 2. Now, 4 months have passed and we’re still looking for that "blowing" couple (remember?).

I think we’ll find them. I mean, how hard can it be?.

PS: I can’t totally complain. Even as I write this, we’ve been talking to this lovely Indian couple from the US. But that thing called “fate” again. We were not in town when they were.

rm_solystis 71M
167 posts
3/2/2006 11:25 pm

Hey just felt like feeling sorry for you.... thats how life in Inia is and AdultFriendFinder is full of bluffers .. selfish...thats all

Best of Luck

kommandcentre 47M/47F

3/3/2006 6:44 am

Rotfl !!!! What a post !!! I haven't stopped laughing since the " I am horny as a bull...i can dig a field with my dick" !!!! I wonder..is that the way horny Sardars till the fields in Punjab ???
My sympathies to you both..dare I say that AdultFriendFinder is an absolute minefield to navigate and you never know when you're going to end up blowing yourself up...let alone finding another couple that's going to blow you away !
Carry on looking and all the best.


Allinoneoneinall 47M/38F
2 posts
3/5/2006 4:20 am

This happens only in India. We need that thing called fate or destiny which helps us to overcome failure. Since we are from blore maybe we can try to meet the next time you plan to be here. Till then all the best guys

TAke care

Broken_Telemark 45M

3/5/2006 8:49 am

Hey Guys,
Just read your blog - loved it!
Makes my utterly MISERABLE experiences in India sound tame (any idea how crap life is for a single white guy in the bouncer-nazi enviroment of Bombay?). You write really well, would love to discuss if at length some time.

Keep it real


2uncomparable 49M
41 posts
3/5/2006 11:45 am

When i read your experience I realised I'm not the only one. Ihad also upgraded my membership. But realised it was not worth it. you meet everyone(the fakes) except the (real) one that you are looking for. I agree with you when you say don't feel sorry for us... it is like rubbing salt on your wounds
cheers and Good Luck

indfuncpl55 47
1 post
3/13/2006 2:50 am

totally agree.. membership upgrade on hold..

rm_Lusty_Licker 36M

3/13/2006 9:26 am

lol!! pretty true.... indfuncpl.. ur funny 2....... i guess we guyz r d culprits so i got no rights to post here.... but newayz its so funny tht i cld hardly resist.... happy huntin to all u cplz... ciao!! ROTFLMAO!!!

rm_raiders_arc 40M/40F

3/15/2006 3:26 am

May we offer help?

While we're at it - are you blaming the singles? I think not. We've spoken to a few who are pretty decent. Of course, we came across "morons" too. But why fret! As you rightly put it, "makes for a good laugh"

rm_Lusty_Licker 36M

3/15/2006 6:55 pm

aww... how dumb of me !! i neva knew cplz cld be morons 2 !! but seriously, there's 2 much of d wrong stuff on AdultFriendFinder than the rite stuff that we all r looking for. i wish i cld mail u thou juss 2 put things bak in perspective.. hahaha... but seriously its funny 2 see u fret and i dont think u need to apologize cos i really think ur rite.

rm_lvngfr2day 44M/42F

3/27/2006 9:02 am

why not just roll a joint ...get Comfortably Numb .....maybe just maybe u would cross the minefield

hornyguymumbai2 39M
7 posts
3/28/2006 2:05 am

well its interesting treading what everyone has to say and blaming others or the so called fakes but the root of th problem is that we dont wanna be bold and i include myself in them coz we all havea stigma attached to being more open the fear of us being known by someone .the fear that what others might think. We want to enjoy thinghs but we want it discreet . I have never given any wrong info about myself n never ever tried to pretend being a couple or whatever but i am still to meet that one genuine female or a couple who would at least wanna meet me in a public place and make a start to anything. I mean u can always say no if u feel i dont fit inot the scheme of things , but hey look at me first then decide . the problem is we all want to have fun but we want it secretly we wanna hide things for society or family or status sake n yet we dont hesitate calling others hypocrites.

hornyguymumbai2 39M
7 posts
3/28/2006 12:05 pm

well u have taken the word hypocrite in its literal meaning what i meant to say is by trying to hide so many things about ourselves we still expect to find someone interesting neither i am opposed to discreetness nor secrecy thats the individuals prerogative and let me tell u we are all the same whne it comes to secrecy and discreetness but there are no takers for single men here probably thats what drives them to lie or build profiles as females or couples N olalitara u seem the sort of a couple whos worth meeting i mean i dont know if its the guy or the girl or both of u replying on this thread but u certainly seem to have the ettiquettes and the qualities one would associate with a educated sophisticated and i hope u find the couple ur lookin for unfortunately i am still single
take care n keep in touch

hornyguymumbai2 39M
7 posts
3/31/2006 12:52 pm

well thanks but u missed out on the last part of my post which says unfortunately i am still single and there are no couples here who are intersted in single guys . I had been involved witha couple a year ago and it was gr8 fun but since then i havent met anyone who is keen give it a thought olalitara if u think i fit the bill u can msg me back here or at stunninghot which is my id in chat

rm_OlaLitara replies on 4/2/2006 7:27 am:
We'd love to. However, we aren't looking for singles right now. Will get in touch when we ARE.

sexat1900 52M/45F

4/3/2006 10:16 pm

hey guys dont give up may be u could find that in us....

hornyguymumbai2 39M
7 posts
4/4/2006 12:22 pm

hey all the married couples here is there really no one intersted ina single guy even if the guy is good and is the sort of person with whiom both could feel comfortable .People in teh west are very liberal but i guess we indians are not any one who doesnt agree with me ??

sexat1900 52M/45F

4/8/2006 12:42 am

well i am in agreemt.with you and sure have come across some real aaholes in our quest for the perfect partners. well hope that we suceed soon....

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