rm_NaeniaSea 47F
273 posts
2/4/2006 2:35 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


It's been quite some time since I've done any blogging, perhaps because my life has been mostly work and little time for play.

It's been nearly a week since I told "W" that we could be friends but no more than that. I'm not sure he's taken it all that seriously, it's not the first time I tried to break it off. There comes a point when you have to face that your needs are not being met and you can either hang out and be miserable or move on and try something new. I've kinda had enough of the being miserable thing, I tried to make my marriage work for far longer than it deserved, I should have learned something from that.

When I met him on this site, we were both married. Mine was an open marriage, he was just being sneaky. I met him in person one was naughty fun but I didn't really want to see him again. I felt like he was getting a bit serious. I didn't think I could fall in love with him nor was I ready for any such thing. I disappeared...I avoided his emails. Evenually I talked with him again and he asked me to meet him for lunch. Fine, why not? We became good friends, then he offered me a job. I had gotten laid off about 9 months before that and was kind of desperate for work. It was a programming position...I was nervous, I had been out of the game for long enough to lose any edge I might have had. I took the job...and the benefits that came along. Having sex at the office had always been a fantasy of mine. But, I was seeing other people. "W" was still married, I was getting divorced...why should I tie myself down to him? He told me he wanted to spend his life with me...everything I could ever want to hear. And then he goes and leaves his wife 4 months later.

So...he's been living in the office for over a year now. I'm still living with my ex-husband for the time being. "W" hasn't filed for divorce, why kick out my roommate quite yet?

The situation is silly and it's time I got myself out of it. Ex needs to go and "W" needs to realize that he's lost me. Meanwhile, I have needs, what am I going to do about those?

semperfi2u 47M
129 posts
2/4/2006 3:10 am

It's so refreshing to hear honesty and openness in blogville without egos...WELCOME BACK!

My advice is to claim you have a yeast infection to your 'boss', find another job fast, dump the x, and move on to a better life... leaving the past well behind you! Geek translation: 1>(1-2)

Precious_TaTas 45M/42F

2/4/2006 4:48 am

Girl...! I say kick those weak men to the curb.You seem like an intelligent and strong woman.Life is what you make it a good friend once told me,she was right.So stop Dwelling on those men and let em go and go on with your life.There is bigger and better out there.Who will treat you and want you the way you wish to be.Hope things work out for ya.

rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
2/4/2006 6:56 am

Do what you feel is right and dont feel obligated to W but keep being honest with him.

Purry {=}


SmedlySuperGophr 53M

2/4/2006 7:08 am

The odd thing is ... you know the answer to that question.
All I can tell you is what worked for me when faced with a difficult dilemma.

1. I wrote down my question {i.e. "Should I move to China")
2. Below that I made two columns "Stay" and "Go"
3. Then I wrote down my reasons to Stay and reasons to Go under the appropriate column
4. Worked through all the reasons to Stay. Some were just lame excuses "I'm Scared" - worked out ways to get rid of them or worked them out.
5. As I eliminated all the reasons to Stay, crossed them off my list.
6. When I had nothing under "Stay", I had no more reasons not to go.

Can't say it will work for you ... it worked for me ... I just stared at that empty column and picked up the phone .....

Ironically, I didn’t get the job but I learned something in the process and have used that technique many times.

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