Forever to be a figure of fun??, or is my life destined for something else???  

rm_NRVOUS1972 45M
290 posts
5/15/2006 12:45 pm

Last Read:
4/17/2007 3:49 am

Forever to be a figure of fun??, or is my life destined for something else???

Today, I thought, was a good point to take stock of my life, after last night’s event in the EHT.
I came to the following conclusions:

1. I like to be liked, but in my efforts to be liked by people, I tend to drive them away by being too insensitive, sometimes ignorant and at other times, just plain immature.
2. I feel that I am an easy target for abuse/ fun, I do get made fun of by a lot of people, whether it be my friends, work colleagues and people in the chat rooms here. Maybe this is so because of my tendency to want to liked?
3. I have realised that there is a high percent chance that I will spend the rest of my days alone, relationship wise. I have had only a handful of relationships throughout my adult life (my life as a child was similarly barren, lots of friends and games of football etc, but no female attention), all ended quite quickly, two of them even said they went out with me out of sympathy for me
4. I lack the confidence to approach a female without having had some considerable Dutch courage imbibed into me, by then, I am usually too far under the influence to be of any eloquence and wit just goes out of the window, so a double edged sword that leaves me alone once again!!
5. My job is at best, semi boring, sometimes interesting. It’s very laid back and lenient, but I spend a lot of time not actually working, that is a waste of my intelligence and ability, and also unfair on my fellow workers, who are busy from start till stop, every day!! There’s no inspiration to climb the ladder as the company has such a closed shop policy, that I am still the lowest paid employee in my department after 9 years. At my current wage is it any surprise that I still live with my parents??
6. Single life gives me a lot of freedoms that being in a relationship wouldn’t, I get to go out for a drink when I want, I can go and see bands whenever I wish, I can still afford to go to the match (with season ticket), and all the expense that incurs on match day (even taking in some away games, and sometimes even European away games!!) AND afford to play golf too. In a serious relationship, that probably wouldn’t be possible, so I am thankful for that
7. It seems that AdultFriendFinder takes up most of my spare time, it seems I am ultimately THAT desperate for some sort of relationship, I’m willing to sacrifice my free time to be in a chat room, waiting for the next female that catches my eye, and gives me a thought that I might have the smallest of chances with them, when I KNOW that the site is mostly full of fakes, players and people who have no intention of attempting or wanting to meet anyone.
8. I should learn to drive, or at least take my motorcycle test again, that way, I can get away from everything

Overall, actually, despite what I’ve written above, I LIKE ME, I JUST DON’T LIKE BEING ME. If I had been blessed with natural charisma, I might have been able to carry it off, and get the girl, the job, the life.
Anyway, enough of my personal bullsh*t.
Hopefully, this doesn’t depress you all, sorry.

And the hair in the pic is crap too!!!!!!!!, glad it's now longer, and yes, I know a certain person wants it short!!!!, sorry xx

rm_EE407 42F
3903 posts
5/15/2006 1:14 pm

Well, I've seen you around in EHT a few times... I like you

CelticFlower 51F

5/15/2006 1:27 pm

I truly enjoy seeing you in the EHT. You make me smile and feel great about myself. For that i thank you so much. Rather than having a huge list of goals choose one or two smaller ones to start with them. Work on them and you will achieve and your self confidence will improve.
You are a lovely guy.

ChrisDL 48M

5/15/2006 2:00 pm

I hope you won't mind me putting a long post here, which is something I don't normally do.

I don't know what happened in the EHT last night and its not my concern, but it worries and saddens me to hear you talking about euthanasia and things like that.

About 12 months ago, I went to the funeral of someone I knew who had taken his own life.He had done so quite deliberately, having sawn through the barrels of a double barrelled shotgun.

Although I didn't know him well, he was a lot of the things that I wanted to be: handsome, charming, drinking, fast living, chased by all the girls.

Nearly 300 people went to that funeral - the church was full and most of us were stood in the churchyard and above us all in big big letters was hanging one word - WHY?

We would all have been there for him,if only he had asked us...

Please don't consider it any further

You said tonight that you had made friends in the EHT, and they are real friends. One person in particular there knows more about me than a lot of people that I could call "friends" in real life. They will help you, if you let them.

Just relax, be yourself rather than the person you want us to see. Its all too easy to act - especially in a chat room

If you read what you wrote, there is a lot of positive - you get to do things you like to do and you recognise that you have a talent (because you can see its being wasted). Take those and go onwards and believe - always believe.

I'm a hypocrite typing this, because it is a case of do as I say not as I have done but I feel your pain - I really do, because I feel the same a lot of the time.

Just keep trying - never give up!

racingcrazy67 50M

5/16/2006 5:25 am


I am truly shocked that you took what I believe to be a pretty insignificant event so seriously and that may have prompted you to to write this blog.

This may take me some time to write but in this case and some of it I am sure I will regret, but I believe it is worth it to give you an insight into what I think about you, AdultFriendFinder and the EHT so bear with me ok? I'm not saying any of this out of sympathy or even to make you feel better, just out of courtesy to someone who I like very much even though we've never met.

First and foremost you are a very welcome member of the tub and are always friendly and good fun. If a survey were done I would not be one person that has chatted to you that would think you are anything but a nice guy.

Secondly, regarding the "event" that seems to have distressed you, it was IMO light-hearted banter as you left yourself wide open to it in my view. You were so busy doing other things that you failed to notice that a gorgeous woman had asked you for your email address. Don't you think that there a load of guys that would have loved to have been in your position at that time? Having the opportunity to converse with a fun and attractive woman? I know I would! The person in this instance has not asked me for example for MY email address so you are way ahead of me in potentially having further communication with this delightful person! You also seem to feel that rather than tease you a little for not noticing, that others should have been like your guardian angels and covered your back for you. My question is "why should I?". It was your decision to multi-task, no-one elses, so maybe take some responsibility for your actions rather than blame others for your error?

Thirdly, if you take that attitude of thinking you will be single for ever, well with that approach you will probably be right! As far as I've been told, lack of self-esteem and confidence in one of the most single unattractive features a man can have! This comes from someone (me)who spent an awfully long part of his life despising himself, so how could I possibly be seen as a good thing by a woman if I felt the opposite was true.

I have spent an awful amount of time, money and emotional energy getting to realise that actually I am an ok guy! I have had times when I have been so low that I even attempted suicide when I was 20, and if it weren't for an incredible achievement by doctors and nurses I would not be here now. I have had my share of up's and down's since but have the attitude now that life is never simple and mine is no different, better or worse than anyone elses, but it is MY life. This is an absolute revelation for me after so many years.

You have alot about you that is good, so my thoughts would be to concentrate on those points rather than the negatives. I could post a 100 pages on a blog things that I am not satisfied with with my life, it's past and present but what would be the point?

Regarding AdultFriendFinder having what you call "players with no intention of meeting up", and it being a place where you seem to devote alot of your spare time? Well, if that is how you feel about it then ask yourself why you bother then? Nobody forces you to chat or to be a member do they? again, take some responsibility! If you don't like it or think it's not for you, then go do something else if it's that bad!

Being single DOES have it's benefits sure. The freedom to do what you want when you want to, nobody to think about other than yourself etc. What makes you think that if you are in a relationship it means you can't play golf or go and watch footie? It's not a life-sentence is it? Every relationship needs it's balance and constant adjustment in my view. I know for a fact that there is someone out there for every single person if they are willing to work at it but it takes patience, skill and understanding at least! You WILL find someone if you really want to. Believe me!

NRV, I am sorry if reading this upsets you but I like to consider you as a pal and I am always here if you need a chat at any time. you know how to contact me if you do. I really like you, you make me laugh and I think you are a really nice guy! Maybe you could do with a little deep thinking to consider what you want from your life? whatever it is you choose, please just don't waste it away. We are not on this planet for long so make the effort and take one stage at a time and I promise you, if you apply your mind to it you will be amazed at what you can achieve.

My last thought is that I am sorry if you were offended by me and others taking the piss a little bit. BUT, the tub is for fun don't forget and having people tease you is not exclusive to you! Just ask Erik and Helga!!

I wish you all the very best and FFS smile!

There is a beer here with your name on it so any time you want it just let me know!

With kind and fond regards from a mate.


keenbutshy2 46F

5/17/2006 11:38 am

I have so much I could say to you... but here is not the right place.

Let me know when you are SOBER and maybe we'll have a chat!!

rm_ShyGirl2028 47F
12 posts
8/16/2006 8:32 am

I also don't know what happened in the EHT, but i'd just like to say NRVOUS is one of the most caring blokes i've met, he made me laugh from day one. We've now exchanged e.mail addresses and mobile numbers and chat quite often. He seems a very caring person and i think any woman would be lucky to have him, and just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you have to give up the things you're used to doing or the things you enjoy - i've learnt that the hard way!!
He's a very good listener and a good shoulder to cry on, but it works both ways too, i'm there for him when he needs to share anything troubling him. I feel i can talk to him about anything and everything, he has helped me through a couple of ups and downs lately. It's nice that he feels comfortable enough with me to be able to open up and talk about the troubles in his life. I myself have been through some real s*** times, but with friends like this you can get through it.
Like him i agree that there are fakes on this site, but there also genuine ones too, and i class him as one of the genuine ones. I know what he means about being single has it's advantages, but it's also nice to come home knowing there's someone there waiting for you.
It's not just all doom and gloom either, we have great fun together even though there are miles between us, we know how to make each other laugh. It even turns out he used to live in the same road as i live in now, so that gives us stuff to chat about, just a shame he doesn't still live there now! lol
I've always said that i treat people the way i expect to be treated in return and if they don't like it then tough, and i think we treat each other with respect and this is why we get on so well. It feels like i've known him for years not weeks, and i hope our friendship continues for a long time and maybe i may even get to meet him one day.

Chin up babe, you've got a lot of good friends around you that care about you, everything will work out right for you in time.

ShyGirl xxx

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