keep your insanity  

12 posts
2/21/2005 2:43 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

keep your insanity

keep your insanity
19 Ways To Keep Your Insanity
1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask twice if they could repeat that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".
5. Add Metamucil into the office coffee maker for three weeks. On Monday of the foruth week, put a jar of stooll softener on your desk. Watch for reactions.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
7. Finish all your sentences with "or so I believe".
8. For one whole day speak in your verbal discourse as if there were no periods (pauses) between your sentences.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk, this week.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems read didn't rhyme very well.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. (This should be on the last day-- before you go to your new job)...
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
17. When money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won! Third time this week!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."


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