A picture of the past, RealLifeStory  

rm_MamCsDawne 47F
290 posts
4/22/2006 8:47 pm

Last Read:
4/27/2006 8:06 pm

A picture of the past, RealLifeStory

Somewhere in the darkness, I found some light. To be who I am, regardless of where I come from. I was one of those statistics that was taught in our schools. 1 in 5 they said at the time. They said, "If you look around the room, 1 in 5 of the girls in this gym, have been, or will be molested or by the time they reach 18 yrs of age."
I sat there listening to them knowing I must of been one of the youngest girls in the gym at the time. Barely 13, sitting in a gymnasium of my Jr High school, listening to this lady on the stage telling all the young girls to watch for the signs and to "Tell if you know".. omg.. did i want my life to be known? Did i want them to know that i was the 1 out of 5?.. NO i didnt want them to know. Before this, life was normal for me, things always went the way that they have always went. No need to be ashamed or embarassed, cause I had nothing to hide. I remember thinking, "This damn woman done changed my life forever"
To this woman now, I say "Thank you". But then was a different story. And i will tell it here and now:

The summer after my 6th or 8th birthday.. who knows exact time... I was going about my usual routine. I would get up in the morning, get dressed for school, go in moms room and kiss her goodbye as she slept, then Sis and I would head off on our walk to school. We finished our day at school and returned home. This day, I opened up the screendoor and walked inside and I saw my mom standin there in the kitchen searching thru the big rings of keys for the perfect key to fit the lock to the fridge. I kissed her hello, then strait to the kitchen picnic table. I sat my backpack down on the bench and then pulled out my books to do my homework. In the kitchen I still heard mom rustling with the keys for the locks, I heard her checkin keys in the lock on the fridge, and on the cabinet door.. and then every now and again, id hear these foul words silently comming from my mothers sweet mouth, "damnit, damn him, that son of a bitch"
I finished up my homework and went into the kitchen where mom sat on the floor, keys in hand, crying and stairing at the keys that were in her lap. "Suppers at Bantys tonight" she said. "And maybe all weekend"
The weekend seemed to fly by, cause I loved going to visit my cousins and my Aunt Banty and Uncle Kenny. It was always like a different world there, and i never understood why. Why that my cousins dad seem so much different than the man that my mother married.
Sunday night services were pretty good, although i dont really remember what i learned that night. I went home to take a bath and get ready for school the next day. We werent permitted to lock the bathroom door and by this time this was quite the norm. I took my towel down from out of the closet where it hung on a nail, and laid it on the floor by the bathtub. Got into the tub. I was a typical kid, loved to play in the tub with whatever happened to be there to play with. Tonight my favorite toy was my washcloth and the shampoo bottle.. ha ha. I put the shampoo in my hair, and the washcloth in my lap. I loved the way the shampoo would leave lather in my water as i would rinse my hair.
Then the bathroom door opened. It was the familar sound of him entering the room to pee.
I ducked down in the bathtub and covered the front part of my body with my washcloth and the back side with bubbles from the water. I heard the trickle of the pee.. and then peeked up to see him standing in front of the toilet, and staring at me. He come over, no words exchanged, took the washcloth that i had a death grip on, and began to wash my back. Telling me what a princess i was, and how when i grew up that he was gonna have to beat the boys away. I listened, unable to speak my mind, not knowing what to say. When he was done washing my back and all else that he pleased (more than i care to mention) He left the room saying he would be back later to visit his "Princess" Master K left the room. I sat there for a few minutes thinking about what was just done, then went on with my bath, scrubbing hard to remove whatever dirt was left behind. Then I jumped out of the tub and let the water down, dried off and wrapped my towel around me and went to my room. On the way thru the livingroom I noticed mom sittin there beside him, while he sat there eating Neopolotin icecream and crunchy cheetos. Again, a normal thing. I went into my room as i was instructed to do and put on my gown and climbed into my bed, Master K had ordered me not to wear underwear of any kind to bed. For what reason? I had no clue at the time.
To Be Continued............

THIS IS A TRUE STORY, MORE WILL FOLLOW AS IM ABLE TO WRITE ABOUT IT, some of this may even shock my sister that I do remember more than most think that i do.. Y do i write about it now?? Well because i know there are other lil girls out there, just like we were, who are still afraid to tell their story. I REFUSE TO BE AFRAID ANYMORE.

I have a good life now and a great family, no reason to keep my story hid. Blog on my friends! and be happy doing it.

bigandtallreturn 38M

4/23/2006 5:03 am

Again, the bravery that you and Chelle show in opening this part of your life is amazing. You're gonna be an inspiration to a lot of people on this blog.

"Today may be the first day of the rest of your life, unless you live on the other side of the International Date Line, then yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life."- Larry Andersen

rm_MamCsDawne 47F
218 posts
4/23/2006 5:45 am

thank you so much. And if this can help others to share their story, then i have made it to my goal. If not for the bravery of my sister I personally would not be able to tell what i know.
I know im not as talented in the writing department as my sis, but we all have a story to tell.. thanks for commenting on my blog bigandtallreturn. *sweet smiles.

NGs_lady 65F
762 posts
4/24/2006 1:24 pm

Thank you for shairing words escape me sorry all i can do is leave hugs for when you want or need them.
hugs hugs hugs

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