Sometimes I feel like a kid in a candy store. A naked kid...  

rm_LoyalCumpany 47M
2036 posts
5/3/2006 2:42 pm

Last Read:
5/5/2006 12:23 pm

Sometimes I feel like a kid in a candy store. A naked kid...

Every day as I peruse this site's female members, I find myself naturally drawn to those that are most pleasing to the eye on the surface. I'm not talking about the profiles that have the professional pics and the 2 paragraph profiles that are all in lowercase and look like they've been typed by some Asian guy with bad eyesight (that pic does NOT show 44DD's, Mr. Magoo).

I'm talking about the real women, the women who have real pictures and have real profiles. Women that, if you're lucky, you'd meet at a convenience store or see lounging by your apartment pool while you're hiding behind your drawn down shades looking through a binocular and pants around your ankles.

Then, if they have them, I read their blogs. Some are so bitter my pants come back up to my waist and I go back to watching porn. The others are so freaking smart and witty I develop a fascination about them. Not the stalker type facination where I'd stand outside their window with my pants around my ankles (I only do that inside), but the type where I wonder if they're like that in person.

So I read their entries, and try to reply. And I lose it. I lose my wit and my charm. Lately I've been freezing up. I'm going through a dry spell that feels longer than our summer here in Arizona. I'm pressing. I'm becoming.... average (gasp).

Maybe it's from fear. Fear that they might actually like something about me and want to do something to me, like fulfill my wildest fantasy and shut me the hell up (That's it. That's my fantasy. Please please please fulfill it. Wait. Not the begging part. Don't make me beg).

Maybe it's competition. So many guys are going to the same blogs I've been reading that the chances of tired, worn out me of getting some special attention are the same as me actually getting laid (Read parentheses above. Again. Not the begging part).

Maybe it's precedent. I've been witty in the past, and I feel like I need to continually be a funny guy. Talk about pressuring myself. In reality, I am a funny guy. I say and do some of the same shit I've blogged about in the past. But lately, I've been studying my ass off and trying to flounder through the last week of the semester. Plus, not having to go to work has completely thrown my schedule off where I get bored enough to explore my feelings (I'm a guy. I shouldn't be doing that. Only exploring I should be doing is if laundry soap is necessary... *sniff*... yup).

So I either don't comment on their blog, or I say something so inane and since I'm refraining from using the LOL (Thanks vrat, you asshole), I might be coming off as a prick. Like most of the other guys on this site. Average again (more gasps).

As the title says, I feel like a kid in a candy store. But right now I can't seem to get the candy from the shelf to the counter.

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me.

I am JoJo the Circus Boy!

rm_bucfannn 62M/61F
2110 posts
5/3/2006 3:06 pm

You peruse? Female members? Whatever for?

Surely, (ok, I know, don't call you Shirley), your wit AND humor needs no help. Truly, that's one of the things I look for in a man... at first. If someone can mentally stimulate me, we are on the right track...

Hang out at the 7-11, darlin'. You never know what's around the slurpee machine

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/4/2006 3:03 am:
Trust me, I need lots of help. Lexapro, alcohol, horse tranquilizers...

PineyFolks 60M/60F

5/3/2006 3:21 pm

*chuckling to myself* Funny read even if it wasn't supposed to be. I can now picture you standing behind your curtains with your pants around your ankles ogling some woman. Thanks I needed the laugh and the smile.


rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/4/2006 3:10 am:
I can't even make a serious entry without people laughing at me.

Oh, the humanity!

Welcome to my bog.

waerlookin4fun 51M/47F

5/3/2006 3:53 pm

I'm picturing you with those binoculars and your pants down around your ankles

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/4/2006 3:10 am:
I'd take a picture but y'all don't want to see that...

rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
5/3/2006 3:53 pm

You're good enough, you're smart enough, and gosh darn, well I do.

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/4/2006 3:11 am:
Ummm ahhh ahhhh... is that warranty still in place?

JeersPilarSaver 36F

5/3/2006 6:18 pm

yep ure right...i like u too

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/4/2006 3:13 am:
Like as in "aww he's so cute and funny, I'm so glad he's my friend" or "Ooh, he's so hot, sensitive, and funny I'd fuck him laying in a trash bin"?

rm_gerson42 53M
2419 posts
5/3/2006 8:32 pm

So many guys are going to the same blogs I've been reading

Not me, I know better. The girls are all here, on your blog.

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/4/2006 3:17 am:
I read my own blog, you're here... and naked too. WTF, trying to cut in?

(psst.. they all pity me, there's nothing sensual about it)

Welcome to my hell... and blog.

sensually_4ever 43M/F

5/3/2006 10:39 pm

I'm talking about the real women, the women who have real pictures and have real profiles. Women that, if you're lucky, you'd meet at a convenience store or see lounging by your apartment pool

hmm real women huh?

well.. It's been a pleasure to spam you.. adn I our unending Email...

LOL. however.. I know this *ahem* relationship is doomed to ever be a long distance one huh???

LOL soooo

Fear that they might actually like something about me and want to do something to me, like fulfill my wildest fantasy and shut me the hell up

I hope you can meet your dream woman.. one who understands the pensive moods. and the days when you just don't feel that funny you know? And she will love your humour.. and can't wait to get to your bod..

Good things will come to you I feel it in my bones.. (NO not bone.. sheesh I am female???)


I enjoy you

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/4/2006 3:22 am:
You enjoy me? Wasn't that a line from "Jerry McGuire"? Or was it one of my other favorite movies, "Hairy Desire"?

Seriously_Real 49M

5/4/2006 5:11 am

Dude...dude, dude, dude...why is it that I always seems to be drawn to the guys (in a totally non-POW way) that angst about meeting women, particularly through the blogs.

I could go on and on (and usually do) but I'll just say this: If you look casually through the list of commenters here, what to you see? I see nothing but women who like you and care. Is there distance? Sure. But it is also validation.

And far be it from me to set you up, but damn, might want to 'getitwhileucandy.'

I'm just sayin'...


rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/4/2006 5:29 am:
This POW thing will never go away will it? Just remind me not to get drunk if I ever meet you and disaster...

The first of these females that visits me here in AZ, or I go visit their state is gonna get rocked, rolled, and discover what a year's worth of frustration can make a man do... in a non POW way, of course.

waerlookin4fun 51M/47F

5/4/2006 2:46 pm

well maybe not with your pants around your ankles, but a behind pic would be nice or one without your shirt on

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/4/2006 3:46 pm:
Re you putting in a request for a butt shot? With or without the hair?

rm_mmmgoodnova 107M/107F
1259 posts
5/4/2006 4:31 pm the candy store...I used the same analogy in my own blog recently. As for you, I find it hard to believe everything that comes through in your blog disappears when it comes to live contact. So...just reach for a good-looking piece...unwrap it, put it in your mouth and suck on it for a while...savor it. If it turns out to be not all you'd hoped, there are always more choices out there...

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/4/2006 5:00 pm:
I like your analogy better.

I'm a sucker for sugary sweetness. Wonder what piece I'll find next...

waerlookin4fun 51M/47F

5/4/2006 5:41 pm

I seriously doubt that you have a hairy butt, but in the tiny chance you might......I'll go with the chest shot without a shirt

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/5/2006 12:17 am:
I don't have a hairy ass, just can't figure out how to get a shot of it without my pale ass skin reflecting the flash....

rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
5/4/2006 9:16 pm


Anyone who reads you already knows what you're like. You put too much pressure on yourself. There's no one magic phrase that will make a girl swoon....

Maybe the key is to stop trying to meet girls on here and let them meet you... Probably less quantity, but more quality I think. Who's always on your "recently viewed your blog" list? That's a start.

BTW you and VR4 were the inspiration for my latest post... along with fantasylover05 of course.

I believe in you; Take The Oath!


P.S. Did I just use the word "swoon" in a sentence? Ugh...time for bed.

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/5/2006 12:28 am:
The all out war on the LOL has gained another ally? Say it isn't so!

And I make all kinds of women swoon. Don't feel bad...

mangomamiCT 43F

5/4/2006 9:34 pm

yeah but if you saw them in the store what would you say , or would be like other guys and stare and not say a word?

rm_LoyalCumpany replies on 5/5/2006 12:25 am:
I dunno. What would be a good line... hmmm...

I have a lollipop whose flavor lasts a lot longer than that one?

You want to try my nougat?

That's no king sized candy bar, you should see the one I have?

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