I SAY FUCK IT  

rm_LostLilSoul 47F
373 posts
12/8/2005 8:55 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

I SAY FUCK IT

Well for the second night in a row, my son wants me to run him clear across town , with the roads a mess, and it being colder than shit, I told him he had to at least come up with gas money, a reasonable request, I thought, He first tries the "I'll have money at 10 pm but I cant wait that long cuz she needs her clothes for school" and when that didnt work it was "her grandma is going to give you gas money tomorrow cuz shes at church" so I said then tomorrow I would be able to take him,,then it was "I'll have grandma take me" Then I hear her yelling so upstairs I went,, I told him no one was going to take him without him paying 4 the gas,,he states that they we'r making a deal when my mother says she already told him no. I told her to stick with that no matter what. She just sat saying nothing. I left the room,, This all took around 2 hours,, from the time he started in on me til he turned to my mom. 15 minutes later she tells me that shes taking him. I cant fucking believe it,,I told her to stop complaining about the way he treats her and her things because she is allowing it.They comes back an hour and some later and he comes in my room,, I am in bed almost asleep and he starts trying to hold my head so he can blow up my nose,,let me explain,,when my son was around 8 yrs old,, he would wrestle with me and one time he had spit in my ear so I got him down put my mouth over his nose and blew,, sounds really gross but it was really funny at the time,, why he was trying to get me back at this point in time is beyond me , but this continues until my bed is mangled ,,Im pissed off,, and he ends it by telling me what a horriable mother I am,,how Im just like his father who has never done a damn thing for him except make him cry and reject him and telling me how I make him sick.
Well fine. These words dont even hurt anymore and I see that unless my mom stands strong with me to put a stop to how he treats us, it will always be a losing battle..so fuck it. I am tired of living this way and Im tired of being run into the ground by a troubled, angry , unappreciative young man who steals from me, cusses at me,, blames me,, and acts like he hates me and if my mom isnt going to help me stop it then why even be here? At what point do I have the right to think about me and worry about me and my happinesss? She may be ok with just giving in or just ignoring the problem,,,I am not.. I fucking hate being in this position,,Why cant I just be a selfish person so all these unanswered questions that keeps me from just leaving will disappear? Such as what will happen if mom gets sick? who will take care of her? who will keep her company so she doesent slip even farther into depression? what happenes if she falls? or needs something from the store? or if she forgets her doctors appointment? will she be ok? will mike stay here and take over her house? The questions are unending,, but my biggest question is will I ever be able to live for me? My unhappiness is making me unhealthy,, I am losing me and I know it but I cant just walk away..I wish I could just say FUCK IT before I (me) just disappears


cozy1957 60M

12/8/2005 9:52 pm

I have no idea what to tell you, there is no bit of advice that will make it all better.

I think you're right about your mom having to help you stop him from running both your lives. I don't know how to get that to happen out side of telling her how miserable you are and that you need her help.

You have to have "me" time too....you're too important to give up on.


rm_Keystone3812 66M
583 posts
12/9/2005 9:15 am

When does this ungrateful slug turn 18???


JiffsSendsMoldy 58M
19 posts
12/9/2005 8:46 pm

What happened to the jeep he was driving??? Also get a BIG CLUB and take care of business and quit taking crap from him!!! Let the ingrate know what and how much you have sacifriced for him....ALL OF THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! If we all could come into this world, promised a perfect life.... What would that be like??? TIME FOR HIM TO ACCEPT HIS RESPONSIBALITY!!!! It's time for him to grow up and stop tormenting you!!! and his Grand Mother!!! It's TIME FOR HIM TO STOP BLAMING EVERYONE ELSE FOR HIS PROBLEMS!!! No matter how they happened!!!! STOP TAKING HIS CRAP!!!


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