Flakier than a baker  

rm_Lillith7 39F   
76 posts
3/16/2006 10:44 am

Last Read:
11/7/2006 8:56 am

Flakier than a baker

Rant time . . .

Ok, you find someone in the site, and you think they’re cool, they think that you’re cool, and you talk a while, meet up, and get to know each other. Sounds familiar? Yah, we’ve all done that before. Now, I’ve done that quite often, and meeting the person in real life, over coffee, or something like that, is where you get a really good idea if you want to really get to know them a little better . . . but what happens when that person keeps making plans with you, but never shows up? Never calls when they say they’re going to? Always makes promises and never follows through?

Well, that’s what’s happening with us and this one guy. It started out all nice and stuff, winking at each other and exchanging e-mails of mutual interest . . . things like that. But we’re too far away for it to make any difference, so, that’s all it is . . .casual flirting. He’s attractive with a well-written profile. Why shouldn’t I? lol

Low and behold, he moves back into the Bay Area, right as we’ve moved to Monterey, and so, we talk about the possibility of getting together for lunch . . . and the plans never really get made, but we still talk about it, exchanging an e-mail or three every few months . . . and then, we move back up to Santa Cruz, and he moves back from L.A. (he’d moved back down there while we were living in Monterey) to . . .Monterey!!! Imagine that!

Granted, it’s been about four years that we’ve talked and exchanged e-mails and what not, and during that whole time . . . his profile pictures have never changed. Now, granted, people can go many years without changing physically hardly at all . . . but it’s still kind of odd that he’d have the same picture up there for about four years. The only reason I get a little adamant about that is because we change ours every few months, depending upon where we are in life. We didn’t take any for about a year and a half, but during that time, I was either very pregnant or trying to return my body to pre-pregnancy state . . . but at that time, we also weren’t in the market for playmates . . . just platonic friends. But once we were back where we wanted to be in our lives that we could take on new additions, we took and posted new pictures.

Ok, now to the ranting part . . .

This guy drops off the face of the earth not once, not twice, but three times, stating that he’s had some bad experiences that made him panic and pull out of the scene for a while, and now, he’s back, finally thinking of the people that he may have hurt in the process (my husband and I, amongst them), so, he came back and wanted to try and reestablish contact. Now, he’d gone on hiatus before this, but with good reason. He’d found himself a girlfriend and was back and forth between L.A. to see her. But this time, it was just because he wigged out over this one encounter. Well, we talked for a while on the phone, and I said that while I understood his wanting to take a break from it all, we’d have appreciated a call, at least, to let us know what was going on . . . common courtesy, and all that. But we never got that. And then, he pulls another Houdini, and then pops back up two days ago with an e-mail of, “I’m sorry it’s been so long, but I read your blog about couples and got to thinking . . .” Bullshit. Did the flavor of the month finally get tired of your bullshit, too? Because I know I have. He said that he’d call me that night and try and set up something for coffee on Wednesday, seeing as how he was going to be up here in Santa Cruz . . . so, I waited for him to call, thinking that I’d tell him off over the phone, or even in person, if we ever made it to coffee . . . but well, low and behold, he never called. Color me not very surprised.

My biggest question is, was he thinking that, having totally flaked on us in a major way twice before, we’d just say, “Oh, hey! Welcome back! Oh, poor baby, did life give you a boo boo? Let me get the Band-Aids and make it all better . . .”

Not bloody likely! I’m sorry, but flakiness is a cardinal sin, in my book, right up there with cheating on your significant other and putting espresso shots in chai!!! It’s just one of those things that decent people don’t do!

If ya’ll wanna make plans, then follow through on them!!!!!!

rm_Bladesong 42F
476 posts
3/16/2006 12:08 pm

HERE here! I am sure a lot of us have had people just like this. I know I have

~It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved!

Be Good to those around you!


looking296641 37M

3/19/2006 3:22 am

Excellently put here, I definitely agree. Though it typically is my downfall; I'll show up even when I think in the back of my mind that it might be a bad idea. Then I just get nervous and throw the whole thing out the window...

jilliepoo 61M/57F
2 posts
3/21/2006 11:43 am

Way to go girl.. We have the same sort of flakyness occuring from people as well. Same deal; winks, flirts, emails, calls & flakes. What a waste of time..We know people sometimes get cold feet or feel "shy" but geeeze.

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