The Mind/Body Dilemma  

rm_LassIsMe 64F
26 posts
8/12/2006 8:04 am

Last Read:
9/28/2006 11:30 pm

The Mind/Body Dilemma


Given the nature of AdultFriendFinder, the nature and state of one's body seems to be foremost in everyone's mind. Photos and cam links attest to that. Fair enough. However, I'm sure all of us have come across at least one photo or cam 'surprise', that we would have preferred to have been spared the opportunity to 'see'.

And most of us, I think/hope, learn to take them all with a grain of salt and carry on without making judgments about the characters of the people who post them.

However, one thing that has amazed me about interactions in the chat rooms is that so many seem determined to downplay or minimalize the fact that they have minds that funtion beyond the genital/flirtatious level. I've been in AdultFriendFinder for 8 years and that mindset seems to have become more dominant. In fact I recieved an AdultFriendFinder email from a woman whose handle I barely recognized that stated that she felt as though people 'in the room' looked at her as though she was a 'carnival freak' because she often posted her opinions/ideas about things that went well beyond the sexual engagement or fantasy genre.

As a result, the question for me is - why do people demand that we accept the fact that every person is different in physical terms (the whole fat/thin issue), and not judge people based on their body size and shape, but yet the same people, often, find it difficult to apply that same request to 'accept and not judge' to the fact that people have different styles of communication or levels of education/intellect?

Perhaps it's got something to do with the fact that we're a 'visual' society thanks to the fact that our entertainment comes in the form of the visual media - movies, tv, magazines, ads etc. Perhaps it's time for Hollywood to come out with a movie where the fat-blob gets the beauty with brains, or the ugly fish called Myrtle gets the blazing business exec with bulging pecs.

Maybe I'll give Mel Gibson a dingle...*s*...he could use a little upswing at the moment I think.


rm_connor696 61M
834 posts
8/12/2006 9:46 am

I can't answer for chat rooms--I never spend time in them--but I suspect that their very structure leads to discussions at the lowest common denominator. Unlike the situation in a "real-life" gathering, small groups can't gather in a corner to follow a discussion wherever it will go; rather, all the comments are kind of shouted to everyone present, so I suppose there is some pressure to keep things in a mode to which all can relate--hence the emphasis on sex. Or so it seems to me. And there are probably other reasons, too. After all, sexual desire has a tendency to being importunate.

But don't you think that the blogs escape this? Sure, sex gets its fair share of attention in blogland, but a lot of bloggers discuss all sorts of subjects, doing so at greatly different depths and levels of analysis.


cougarprey4play 42M

8/12/2006 9:54 am

Hmmmm...double standards maybe? I don't know - just throwing in my two cents here.

In your 8 years, have you seen any other changes? I've visited now & then over the years (the past 10, maybe longer - I honestly don't remember but I visited around the start of AdultFriendFinder) but really haven't participated as much till just recently in the last few years.

I have seen the common situation where if you reject someone for one reason or another, that person often turns on the person they were trying to talk with. What I mean is that so if man A contacts woman B & she isn't interested for whatever reason, man A will go from being "nice" to "mean" pointing something out they find wrong with woman B.

I do know this is a sex/swingers site, that there are optional sites from AdultFriendFinder including ALT for those of an alternative status but I do believe this site offers the most options to anyone to start with including LTR, activity partners, etc.


wildoats19622 56M
3530 posts
8/12/2006 1:51 pm

I've only been on AdultFriendFinder since last March, but I really enjoy the blogs. I've never been that big on chat rooms. The blog gives you time to think about what you say. Chats are more spontaneous but less thought out. There are several good political blogs, of various opinions. I think you'll find several you'll like. Just visit people who leave clever comments on blogs you read.

Wild

Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.


rm_LassIsMe 64F
14 posts
8/12/2006 2:51 pm

Without question, blogs do allow one the time to post/comment on various topics, sexual and non-sexual, with some degree of depth. However, I've just 'discovered' bloggery...lol And call me ridiculous but there's something about the immediacy of a chat room that allows one to come outside of one's social 'shell' and imagine that they are actually 'mingling'. In short, practicing one's social skills beyond one's usual realm of experience (family, friend, co-workers), is part of the draw of a chat room.


rm_LassIsMe 64F
14 posts
8/12/2006 2:57 pm

Many thanks Wild...*s* If you know of one - political blog sites/bloggers - please let me know. I'm very curious about what people think about political and social issues. Once again, that's why I post the way I do in chat rooms - to find out what other people are thinking about various issues beyond sexual fantasies. Although I must admit, revelations with explanations attached regarding sexual fantasies have proven to be a great source for either laughs or insights into the psychological nature of people in general.

Thanks for the suggestion though...*s*


wildoats19622 56M
3530 posts
8/13/2006 1:41 am

I've noticed a couple of the others haven't been posting for a while, but a good read is MissAnnThrope an alternative view is somethingelse40 and yet a different perspective would be [blog FreeLove999]

All are people with something to say whether you agree of not. My favorite would be MissAnn.

Wild

Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.


rm_jurgon3 57M
4603 posts
9/9/2006 12:52 pm

lass, a very good post indeed. I always ask people what they do (for a living) as i want to find out about them first and foremost. The sexual teasing that goes on in the rooms is fun at times. But personaly i like to get to know people first before we go down that road. I know you like my sayings, so heres one from the north of england which sums people up "theres nowght as queer as folk"
god bless and be lucky!

Be lucky!


rm_LassIsMe 64F
14 posts
9/10/2006 5:39 am

    Quoting rm_jurgon3:
    lass, a very good post indeed. I always ask people what they do (for a living) as i want to find out about them first and foremost. The sexual teasing that goes on in the rooms is fun at times. But personaly i like to get to know people first before we go down that road. I know you like my sayings, so heres one from the north of england which sums people up "theres nowght as queer as folk"
    god bless and be lucky!
I agree Jurgon, I think...lol Humankind is 'queer' As in there is no 'norm' in reality. Instead variations from the theoretical norm is the practical 'norm'...hence humanity in practical terms respects the fact that we're all 'queer' to some extent. I must say, your 'northern neighbours' are a rather smart bunch, aren't they?...*s* My family heritage is found there. Perhaps that's why I find you...hmm...queer, but nice...lol


rm_jurgon3 57M
4603 posts
9/10/2006 8:56 am

    Quoting rm_LassIsMe:
    I agree Jurgon, I think...lol Humankind is 'queer' As in there is no 'norm' in reality. Instead variations from the theoretical norm is the practical 'norm'...hence humanity in practical terms respects the fact that we're all 'queer' to some extent. I must say, your 'northern neighbours' are a rather smart bunch, aren't they?...*s* My family heritage is found there. Perhaps that's why I find you...hmm...queer, but nice...lol
lass, i must say you do tickle me you know, your sence of humour knows no bounds, i knew you must have a bit of brit in you. lol
My family are from ireland so maybe thats why im full of blarney lol
And thank you so much for your compliment, dont hold back on the horses!
be lucky my friend!

Be lucky!


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