rm_Kissmystuff 62F
2665 posts
4/24/2006 3:34 pm

Last Read:
5/28/2008 8:21 pm


ยง Ran across some old photos in my closet last night. A shoe box revealed a stack of old photos..some of was pleasant to see...others...brought home the fact that I was once a very naive young woman.

One of those photos was of a man who had lied to me about who and what he was. He had wooed and dined me...and had really made me feel special. After a few months...I had allowed him to weedle his way through my defenses.

Robert..his name..was Robert. He had been my lover maybe two months and I thought he was really something special. Then one day I ran into his wife in the grocery store!! I had no clue...but she sure knew about me.

Now..he had denied that he was married..never told me he had kids. And here I was...facing this really pissed off woman...accusing me of being a home wrecker. In most cases I was able to hold my a dispute...but this just took me by well as cut me to the quick. I had fancied myself as really caring about this of myself...and trying to make our relationship work. Little did I know it was all one sided.

That was a scene I will never forget. I just left my grocery cart in the middle of the isle and left in tears. The next time Robert called...he wanted to come over and make sure I was ok. I told him I never wanted to see him again. He stopped calling after a few weeks. But...I learned a some very valuable lessons.

In spite of what a man tells me..

If we can never spend the night together...I want to know why.

If he's never available on weekends...I want to know why.

If he gives me only a cell phone number...but not his home or office...I want to know why.

If he can't introduce me to his friends...I want to know why.

If he never invites me to his place...I want to know why.

If there's make up or the scent of another woman on his clothes...I want to know why.

While I realize that there are times...circumstances in a marriage...that things aren't working's not fair to another or woman...not tell them the truth. Let that other person decide for themselves whether they want to get involved with a married person. I think it's a sign of disrespect for the other woman or man...the marriage partner...the marriage...and if there are kids's disrespectful to them as well.

As for myself...I feel it shows disrespect of another woman to involve myself with her husband...unless it is an open marriage and she knows and consents.

As for the man...who's a lying...sneaking cheat...I have no time or patience. Who wants someone you can't trust? Be man enough to tell the truth about who and what you are.


__Huntress__ 56M/59F

4/24/2006 4:15 pm

This was so poignantly written. Your advice and comments here are hit the mark. Thanks for sharing !


KarezzaMagick 65M
165 posts
4/24/2006 6:00 pm

I agree:

The "lie" is worse than the "cheat," if cheat it be.

Frankly, the amendment (or is that "commandment") against "Adultry" is probably misnomered because coveting another's spouse had already been named as a sin. The rather bigoted group that brought us the "commandments" actually made the "Adultery" commandment against "adulterating" your family tree by marrying into alien groups. So I've heard tell; and I do think that is the original meaning. Besides, they practiced plural marriage and kept concubines and slaves without losing any sleep over it (unless they lost sleep frolicking with all their concubines).

But forget about the famous Ten Commandments, four of which are merely advertising hype for a pompous fraud.

Look up the Celtic Triads, or Solon's "Commandments," or best in this case, perhaps, "The Rules of Courtly Love." They're all online and they're all far better, more concise, and more moral than the Ten dodads from the middle east.

The Rules of Courtly Love contain the admonition: "Marriage is no excuse not to Love," and I take that to heart.

Still, lying is usually evil because it's dishonorable and you also primarialy lie to yourself first.

The Rules of Courtly Love also mention that a man may love more than one woman... and since fair is fair, a woman may love more than one man.

The Rules of Courtly Love also caution us (males, that is) to avoid affairs with a woman we would not consider marrying for some reason. That's better advice than you'll find anywhere in the Ten Commandments.

It all hinges upon Honor, you see.

rm_goddess1946 107F
13518 posts
4/24/2006 8:05 pm

I'm sorry that you had to experience this yet you're
bullshit meter was a little more finely tuned because of
the experience... Mine is finely tuned as well...

I'm with you on the truth thing. Tell the truth with me or
don't even bother me for any is as simple as that

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

docdirk 48M

4/24/2006 8:13 pm

What a a horrible experience, I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

I'll never be able to understand not only how some people can be so deceitful, but also how they seemingly take pleasure in doing it and can live with themselves afterward It's probably a mistake to refer to them as "people," as there is very little that is human about them!

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

Nightguy_1961 56M
4866 posts
4/24/2006 10:23 pm

Well said...sorry that it went so bad for you, but at least you learned 'how the damn game' is played...

I know of someone...on this site...who claims to be a Dom. According to him, he will not take on any cyber or real time submissives, claiming 'he follows a different path than Others..."

He will only take calls at his office phone.....
He is only online btwn 7am to 5pm....never on weekends....

Reason: He's married, and if his significant other finds out, once she's done with him in court, he won't have a pot to piss in or a window to through it out.

Sad thing...I know of several submissive women who are wooed by his charm and are dying to meet him, but it will never happen...he always has an excuse to avoid meet&greets with we know why....

Just my viewpoint.....


tillerbabe 57F

4/24/2006 11:57 pm

"As for myself...I feel it shows disrespect of another woman to involve myself with her husband...unless it is an open marriage and she knows and consents." I completely agree! As with everything else you said. I often wonder about the "self -respect" of a woman who knowingly involves herself with such a man! Good for you! I too, was unknowingly involved with a married man when I was much younger..when I found out, I dropped him faster than a hot potato! Great post!

rappahannock_man 63M
1102 posts
4/25/2006 6:41 am

Sheesh! Even in the feverswamp world of AdultFriendFinder there is such a thing as ethics!


4/25/2006 7:00 am

Honey,I feel you.I know right where your at!It isn't fair,but guys do it all the time.It's the world we live in.

GoddessOfTheDawn 106F
11240 posts
4/25/2006 9:19 am

very gud post!

thx.... and you deserve MUCH better!

redswallow777 49M
6811 posts
4/25/2006 2:27 pm

Amen......great post.

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