Burning Bridges...  

rm_Kissmystuff 62F
2665 posts
3/28/2006 9:07 am

Last Read:
3/29/2006 8:47 am

Burning Bridges...

When you leave someone or something..whether it be a friendship or relationship..involving some type of closeness or intimacy..is it wise to burn your bridges?

Burning bridges..ususally means that you say things to each other..or one to the other..things..that you can't really take back. You utter words..that cut to the heart and leaves a slow to heal wound.

Could you have gotten your point across without the wounding? Could you have spoken less harshly..and left a door open..for a future friendship?

They say that sound is one of the most powerful of gifts that humanity has access to. Thoughtless..hurtful words can last a lifetime. Kind words..full of understanding and compassion..can help you heal.

Is it EVER wise to burn your bridges?


Sulabula 46F
12659 posts
3/28/2006 12:43 pm

Sometimes it is wise to burn them...other times it's not...If it was worth anything...then it's not..and you can move on...

Sula xxx

come visit my blog

docdirk 49M

3/28/2006 6:01 pm

I wish I could remember to whom this quote is attributed, but it goes something along the lines of this:

"I always burn my bridges. It forces me to look forwards and not back."

That was a horrible job of paraphrasing, but an interesting/ different take on the subject.

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

KarezzaMagick 65M
165 posts
3/28/2006 7:56 pm

Dear Kissmystuff,

You really must be psychic!

I am just experiencing this very thing with my friend here in Northern Ohio.

I sent her a letter, containing what could be called "constructive criticism." It was all true, at least to my thinking. But I could have used nicer words or no words at all.

But I just couldn't do that. The letter I sent is the one I had to send.

She is furious (in a cold burn type of way) and I think she's also hurt and devestated because who can hurt you more than someone you've shared your soul with? And as much as it killed me to do this, I really needed to.

Because, as docdirk above mentions, I wanted to be able to move on and not sit there, stuck... for months or even years....

Not pleasant and even worse is the fear that everything I said is true and she'll spend the next 20 years living it out, which is what caused me to write this in the first place.

So tell me. If none of it was true, why would it bother her so much? But, of course I understand that I went out of my way to twist the blade. Damn, I'm sure it's hurting me now as much as it hurt her, or even more.

But I'll be over it by and by.

The decisions she made that triggered my letter.... she really may be living with those for the next twenty years. That will make her 64 when this tragedy runs its course... and just think of what will happen in the meantime.

rm_FreeLove999 47F
16127 posts
3/29/2006 2:39 am

well, i thought i'd burnt my bridges when i broke up with a boyfriend in 1993. i told him i never wanted to see him again as long as i lived, and i meant it too. LOL!

seven years later, thru a series of coincidences connected to my sister, we were put in the same space together.... basically my sister had become close friends with him and was living with us.

now he's my best friend and we're going into publishing venture together. so if the door is meant to be open, i think it can be opened again, if both are open to change. i think the fact that we saw each other behaving at our very worst -- most childish and petulant and just downright nasty at the end of our relationship -- is part of what helps us have such a good understanding of each other now.

[blog freelove999]

redswallow777 49M
6811 posts
3/29/2006 7:22 am

I can't say I have ever burnt any bridges....I think I am too much of a caretaker to even play with the matches. Occasionally I may feel the need to close a bridge, but with time most are once again opened.

Burning bridges is not my style....too, too destructive.

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