Between Despair and Shangrila  

rm_Kissmystuff 62F
2665 posts
2/2/2006 8:27 pm

Last Read:
10/6/2010 12:06 am

Between Despair and Shangrila

I was lonely tonight.
I wanted to reach out to him.
I called the number I had written down
Twice I got a strange male voice
telling me "wrong number".
I've called him before...
How did I manage to transpose and
and loose the correct digits.

I pulled out his letters and
re-read each and every one.
Hoping they would give me...
a sense of closeness...
a sense of his warmth...
no matter how slight.

I would give almost anything...
to feel his body next to mine...
to feel his warm firm hand upon me...
to hear his voice...
speak softly to me.

What is this terrible...wonderful longing.
Is this a euphoria of mixed emotions...
a roller coaster of neurotic imaginings.
If I cried out...would anyone hear me
If I cried would anyone care.

There's sometimes a shadow
didactic and insistant...
a programming from younger times.
If I listen too intently...
it would deny me the joy of hoping.
So I search for that balance...
between dispair and Shangrila

© copyright 2/2/06 jfc



2/2/2006 9:30 pm

I liked this as it covers many of the feelings and probable mind pathways of many out there in nearly this identical situation.

It's fascinating to track that dialog you often have with yourself about these matters.

And the stupid phone itself the crux of an idiotic megaproblem that I recently created in a situation based here only I did not dial the wrong number I

1) First forgot if I had even taken the number down at all because I immediately misplaced it
2) Finally located it about five days later

And a lot of undefinable "trouble" sort of brewed about this before I was finally able to locate the number.

I won't detail it any more than that but when you were wondering about getting your own numner right and stated...

How did I manage to transpose and
and loose the correct digits.

I said the same types of things to myself with my situation only they were like...

How could I honestly have forgotten if I actually wrote the number down and if I did how could I have lost it?

And once I did find it I entered an even deeper level of that particular Twighlight Zone.

Anyways I know exactly where you are coming from with this cause I'm still sort of there myself.


rm_Kissmystuff 62F
1435 posts
2/2/2006 10:03 pm

Thank you..
its always rewarding when someone reads...
appreciates and comments.

Kiss ♀


rm_Kissmystuff 62F
1435 posts
2/2/2006 10:45 pm

Hi again KC...

I have to wonder sometimes...when the screw ups we have are really just fear manifesting in a way that gives us an excuse not to face that fear. And after all...remember that that saying...accidents are really not accidents...but is our subconscious stepping in.


mnowl 63M

2/4/2006 11:37 am

I can feel her reaching out
hear her cries
know she is there.
How can I touch her?
Let her know that she is surrounded
with my thoughts, my imaginings, my desires?
There are no wrong numbers
just misdirections… all can be found.

I too long to feel her touch
reach out to her
My fingers tingle in anticipation.
My heart races with the thought
My hand in absentee
feel her round full breasts
rising and falling with her
breathing, increasing in their
frequency, in their depth.

My body is respond in just the
though of being with her
I am always with her
in the shadows of her mind
in her past… in our future.
She takes me back to my youth
Uncontrolled cravings,
autonomous reactions to desire
dreams of what can be
dreams that reveal
that which I want to give her…
the path to her Shangri-La

rm_Kissmystuff 62F
1435 posts
2/4/2006 1:36 pm


Mmmmm...more poetry...
you always know just what to say.



TheOracle2006 106F

11/21/2006 1:52 pm

Unrequited love... sigh... love to die for. I appreciate your deep thoughts.

L'Oracle de L'Amour

I promise to read a poem a day... from you.

L'Oracle de L'Amour

Right now reading: The Flowers of Evil by Baudelaire

Hi again

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