I need some honest feedback here  

rm_KingEdain 47M
1529 posts
8/22/2006 9:45 am

Last Read:
10/18/2007 2:00 am

I need some honest feedback here


Hello all....... I've been working on a book for some time now... haven't decided yet if it is going to be one novel or a collection of short stories. This is the opening of the book and i was wondering if you read this much would you be interested in buying the book and reading the whole thing......... here we go.

Darkness, she couldn't move but an inch to the left or right. She tried to sit up but instantly bumped her head. She could feel the dried blood on her lips. Once the disorientation passed she began to remember. The man had grabbed her by the dumpster when she took out the trash. She had tried to fight but he was just too strong. He had done something to her, what was it? The memories started to flood in then. He had cut her open in places all over her body. Not enough to kill her, she knew that, just enough to make her bleed alot. " I must have passed out" she thought to herself. She started to feel around her. The wood was solid and cool to the touch, she tapped on the sides, top, and bottom but there was only a solid sound. " OH my God!! I've been buried alive!!" she screamed. It was then that she noticed the faint red glow by her feet. The small digital clock was in a countdown mode and the numbers were just reaching zero. She heard a click and then a thud and a panel slid open. The new sounds were small scratching noises, she was trying to place them when something furry brushed by her bare foot. They were on her then, chewing and scratching. The rats were starving and the smell of blood was too much. She started screaming for all she was worth but nobody could hear her.

Well that is how my book starts... let me know what you all think and if it is something you would buy in the store if you read that first paragraph.

amoldenough 71F
16436 posts
8/22/2006 10:54 am

It got my interest. I might buy it, if it didn't cost so darn much. Books are an expensive indulgence these days.

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."


Cozy_Red 52F

8/22/2006 11:33 pm

Just my opinion, but im a librarian... you will have more readers with a novel, short story collections are not too pupular, unless they are in large print. If they are scary stories, and released around Halloween... then short stories would sell. Good luck , Im working on my book still.






rm_KingEdain 47M
1848 posts
8/23/2006 9:32 am

Glad you all liked it.


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