Love and deceit  

rm_Keystone3812 66M
190 posts
3/16/2006 11:10 am

Last Read:
9/6/2006 9:14 am

Love and deceit

A story of love and deceit. This is difficult for me to write, but I want to share this with you. I’ve told you that I’ve been a faithful hubby, but it’s not that I haven’t tried to fall off the “faithful wagon”. This is a story that goes back 7 years.
I had started exploring the internet, finding out that there women in the world that enjoyed giving pleasure……. That there were things that I’d never experienced sexually. I started going into chat rooms……… watching, wondering what this internet thing was all about.
I met a woman one day in a chat room. Actually, I wasn’t in a chat room, but was looking at the participants in a chat room, looking at their profiles. This particular one intrigued me…….. so I IM’d her, and we started innocently chatting. She was a woman about my age. A married woman with two daughters. I had 3 daughters, so we instantly had lots to visit about! And we did talk about a LOT of things.
Over the next months, we had nearly daily chats. Long chats, sincere chats about our marriages, our families, our sexual fantasies, our wants and needs. We were just SO compatable from the first time we talked. After several months, I sent her a picture of myself…….. and she sent me a picture as well. A beautiful woman! I had already begun to fall for this wonderful woman because of her personality, her innocence, her inner beauty….. but when she sent me the picture, I was SO amazed at how beautiful she was!
She was a woman that had never had sex with anyone but her husband……… and he was a selfish pig in the bedroom. He’d wake her at 3 in the morning with a boner and expect sex. And she thought sex was “her womanly duty”. She really knew nothing more. She masturbated on occasion, but had never had a satisfying sex life.
Over the months, we grew closer and closer. I have to say, that I fell in love with her. I had also fallen in lust with her also, but had fallen in love with her first.
I asked her if she’d like me to come see her. For 2 months, we made plans to meet. We made such wonderful plans to be together, intricate detailed plans to share with each other emotionally and physically face to face what we’d shared online for so many months. It was exciting for both of us.
I made plane reservations……… made hotel reservations on the beach. Everything was arranged, and I was SO excited to finally meet this woman that I’d fallen so deeply in love AND lust with. It was perfect!
Well…….. the day before I was to come to her………. She told me that she’d changed her mind. That this was something that she couldn’t do. After a year of being together……… a year of daily talks and chats……… and months of planning for our time together…….. she changed her mind.
Well, I was devastated. The airline reservations were nonrefundable, so I went ahead and went anyway, hoping and praying that she’d somehow change her mind and see me. I traveled over 1,200 miles to see the woman that I loved.
But she didn’t change her mind. Instead (I found out later), she sat in the hotel lobby when I checked in, sat there and watched me. Watched me sit on the porch of the resort and stare at the ocean that she had wanted to show me and that I had wanted her to share with me.
Why didn’t I recognize her sitting there in the lobby????? Well, you can guess the answer to that. She had sent me a picture, but it wasn’t of her. It was one she had found online somewhere.
I knew where she worked, but she asked me not to come see her, and as difficult as it was, I honored her request. I drove by her office……….. sat outside, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. But I didn’t go in.

I had fallen in love and lust with what I thought was the most beautiful and wonderful woman, only to find out that she had deceived me.
To this day it still hurts when I think about it. My heart and spirit were broken into a million pieces. I’ll try not to fall like that again. I trusted…….. I loved…… I fell. Maybe some day I’ll heal and let another into my life as deeply as I let her into my heart.


angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
3/16/2006 11:30 am

Keystone...you dear, sweet man. What a sad story! And it is just as sad for her. If she could have just realized that you had fallen in love with her mind and spirit....and you probably didn't even really care what she looked like! Now I see why #26 on you list is even more important to you! Honesty is the best policy! Always. Sending long, soft ~hugs~ your way!


MWWwantsmore 52F

3/16/2006 3:07 pm

That is a sad story and I feel for you I just hope that writing this has helped you in some way. Being able to finally tell someone what you went through. But I have been there and I know how hard it is to be deceived and hurt!


MOfunNOWWOW 56F

3/19/2006 6:40 am

How awful. I am sorry that you had such a bitter pill to swallow. Better prepares for the next experience you need till we eventually get things right. That is the outlook that helps me best get through bad experiences. Hope the blogging helped. Hugs


MOMO
just a squirrel trying to get a nut


rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
3/21/2006 5:13 pm

Awwwww sweetie, I am glad you just found out before things got worse!

Purry {=}

Purry


HBowt2 60F

3/24/2006 12:10 am

such a sad lesson......but i liked the you i read about in this story...


TheOracle2006 106F

9/5/2006 5:44 pm

I know how the fantasy changes when reality sets in. We all get scared like a goddamn newlywed everytime we are going to meet a new lover. It is intense to know that you are going to give yourself willingly to a stranger. I wonder, will it be as we imagined or has our imagination got away with us. It happens quite often that before the prize is gained that, more often than not, we women back out. It is like putting your head in the lions mouth... we are weaker and vulnerable... what if the man hurts us? Then, more often than not, when I tell them of my fears they blow up at me. Testosterone poisoning sets in. I have talked about this at length on my blog.

Thanks for coming over to my blog and I hope to see you there often...

"Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow"

The Hollow Men
T. S. Eliot (1925)

"And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair..."

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
T. S. Eliot (1917)

L'Oracle de L'Amour

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