Bad Communications  

rm_KarmoHunny 56F
256 posts
6/21/2006 5:54 pm

Last Read:
8/23/2006 9:42 pm

Bad Communications

Well, I finally received a response from him. He said he was unable to connect with me on the instant messenger. He had been trying to no avail. I guess that's something. I don't feel as bad as I did when I posted the first post. I've been thinking and think we'll just remain platonic friends. Sex can complicate things and I'm not into drama.

I've been wondering, how can people just have sex without feeling anything but horny? Am I a throwback to the old days when sex meant something? When I've participated in "just" sex, it left me feeling rather cheap and bad about myself (that includes the night I spent with that guy). How does one overcome those feelings? What about the emotions tied to sex? What happens to those? Are we turning into a society where sex is just another run-of-the-mill activity? Please, somebody clue me in!

rm_Kallisti_5 37M
130 posts
6/21/2006 10:59 pm

You know, I think you might be in the wrong area here...

I don't think that our society is "changing", so much as the methodology. Sex has existed forever, and casual sex is no different. Even in the Victorian era, Houses of Ill Repute ruled the day. If you look at pictures of the frontier towns, all those Bars, Saloons, Cantinas, Motels, etc, were just whorehouses. Some say that the first medicines created where birth control substances.

The difference is that today, the ruling form is the Internet--privacy, a wide network of people, and easy to find sites that give you exactly what you are looking for. You just happen to have found one of the bathhouses of yore.

No one here would suggest that emotion is dead--it's not. We still all need emotional contact. We all need someone to support us, and we all still want that special kind of intimate encounter with longing stares, pillow talk, and all the like. But this site is not for that. It's for something more primal. The excitement of being with someone new. Sex on demand. This is not to say that it "means nothing". It simply means something else. It means sensuality. It means pleasure. It means knowing that you will only live once. A pick-up bar without the tab, smoke, or cab. The safety of staying at home.

If that kind of sexual activity doesn't appeal to you, then I suggest you don't engage in it. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, then don't do it. There's no judgement here--some people like green tea, others like Chai.

Best of luck to you!

rm_KarmoHunny replies on 6/21/2006 11:50 pm:
You know, I never thought of it that way. Maybe this is a primal sex site for hedonists. But believe it or not, I've come across quite a few people on this site who are looking for more than just sex. They want meaningful relationships. Are they barking up the wrong tree? I hope not for their sake because they will be greatly disappointed if they are.

No need to advise me about casual sex. I won't be going that way again. I guess I'm just not into the cyberspace meat market. Or, any other meat market as far as that goes. There's something cheap and impersonal about it. That's just my opinion.

Thanks for offering your view on my post.

crazygurl2xx 58F

6/22/2006 1:28 pm

sweetie...never compromise your desires... hold out for what you want.

personally, if it's real real good, casual sex is ok with me, but terrible casual sex is unacceptable.

and you aren't in the wrong place here. i know of several people who have found their lovers here, good relationships that give each person what they need -- and that group includes me and my man. don't think it can't happen. it can and does. in fact, so many people here are looking for love that anything less just seems like it has no value. that includes men. they are not immune to needing love. trust me on this, babe and...


rm_KarmoHunny replies on 6/22/2006 4:11 pm:
Thanks for your reply Sweetie! I didn't believe that everyone on this site is just looking for sex. I know a lot of them are though and are crass about it. I say more power to ya and practice safe sex!


JuicyBBW1001 55F

6/22/2006 9:55 pm

I am one of those women who is looking for the needle in the haystack. I tried the other sites and guess what some of those same men on eharmony and others are right here on AdultFriendFinder. At least being here they seem to let it all hang out so it makes it easier to shift through the toads and the frogs and the fakes.


rm_KarmoHunny replies on 6/22/2006 10:46 pm:
Being on eharmony and this site? That's really scary!

I hope you will be able to sift through the bullshit and find somebody that's right for you. To Hell with the frogs, toads and fakes!

SingleWarrior 53M

6/24/2006 3:09 am

Sometimes, with enough patience, you'll come accross guys here looking for the same thing.

Myself? I am not entirely sure what I want.

Somedays I long for just companionship of a female partner. Other days, I have that previously mention "primal drive".


rm_KarmoHunny replies on 6/25/2006 11:31 am:
Thanks for your response, Warrior. Hope you'll be able to find someone that is right for you for what you desire. You seem like a pretty nice guy.

florallei 100F

7/1/2006 9:56 pm

Hello Again,

Each of us are different and we have to reconcile within ourselves what is best for us and not what someone else dictates. I am of the camp where I can't seperate the sex and the love...the two must go hand in hand...I have had sex with someone where I had no deep feelings for and that relatiosnhip ended right away.
To be touched and loved can make an orgasm more heightened and beautiful. It is not to say that sex with someone you don't love can't be good. I just prefer sex with someone I really care for. It makes it more beautiful. That is my 2 cents worth darlin'...I like your honesty

rm_KarmoHunny replies on 7/1/2006 10:28 pm:
I agree with you! Sex and love was meant to go hand-in-hand. But that's just my opinion.

CanBavailible 57M

7/3/2006 2:40 am

girlfriend and boyfriend...
that used to be what they called 2 romantically involved people that weren't married.

rm_KarmoHunny replies on 7/3/2006 5:10 pm:
Yeah, I remember those days. But alas, it seems like a distant memory.

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