Stress Times Three.....  

rm_JohnMacLaine 51M
454 posts
5/1/2006 6:13 am

Last Read:
5/3/2006 10:31 am

Stress Times Three.....

I find myself going through a wide range of emotions lately. First, Jennifer is not getting better and it is putting a strain on my shoulders I have never had to bear. I am trying to be strong for her, I am trying to keep a level head, but the emotions are eating away at my sanity little by little each day. She is experiencing a lot of pain, confusion, and the prednisone is doing terrible things to her body, both mentally and physically. She has enlisted the help of Darren and I in keeping the household running smoothly, not to mention keeping the children focused on school, chores, and day to day activities. I can only hope the two of us can make it easier for her. She has to get better, and that should be her first priority. I have to be strong and able to handle the children for her, so that she can get the rest she so needs, and so she can take some stress off of her shoulders. This whole thing has had a lasting effect on my mind at work. For those that know about car sales, your mind must be sharp, and all outside influences must be put aside into the back of you head so not to interfere with selling. I have found that more and more difficult to do, and as a result, did not sell a car all weekend.

The second issue is Saturday I went to the old apartment to finish cleaning and to pack the last of my things and move them to the new house. I got to the apartment, opened the door and to my dismay, found that my ex.-roommate did nothing in the way of cleaning. He took all of his things, including all of the furniture and electronics that I had given him out of my own inventory, and did not clean a damn thing. The place was trashed. On top of all of that, he took my vacuum, which I did not say he could have. I spent the better part of six hours that day cleaning, packing, organizing and trying to make the place presentable to my landlord, but alas, I was only able to do so much, and was disappointed at the results. The fact that I had to do all of that work myself without so much as one shred of assistance from him, waned heavily on my already fragile stress level. I had hoped he would do the right thing, but I should have realized that he could not be depended on. I only charged him $50 per week to live with me, and in the last six weeks, since I knew I would be moving out, I did not ask for a dime from him so that he could save for a place of his own. He took advantage of my generosity, and thus put me in this financial situation I see myself in today. When he moved in, I was doing a favor for a friend. The guy was being thrown out of the place he was in and had no where else to go. Me being the kind person I am, allowed him to stay with me in this small one bedroom apartment, he slept on the couch, and he practically lived in my living room for a year. Now, I am not the best example of a perfect roommate, but I at least knew what my responsibilities are, and I have always tried to live up to them. He just didn’t give a shit, and as a result, should a time come where I am again out on my own, in my own place, I will never have a roommate, with the exception of a female partner.

The third issue I am trying to deal with is work itself. Yesterday was my last day at the old dealership, yet I have not heard from the new one since Thursday as to the results of the urinalysis. I am assuming all is well, since I know I am clean, but the waiting is the hardest part. One of my supervisors got wind of my plans to leave, and he took it upon himself to let me go yesterday. It was not a firing per-say, but it was worded as “we understand why you are doing this, and we support it if it is in the best interest of your family. (which it is) Therefore we are allowing you to move on as of today.” He explained to me that the separation was amicable, and should I ever need a reference, he would gladly provide one with good standing. So this morning I am a man without a job, until such time as I can contact the other dealership and get a yes or no as to whether I can start or not. I am confident that I will be fine, and I am confident that I will be successful; it is just that intermediate day or two of the unknown that has me a little stressed out. I hate not knowing what is going on, and I will be better once I know for sure what is next.

Today I will spend going through all of my belongings, sorting out what I will bring in the house, and what I will be throwing away. I eventually will need a day to myself, just so I can relive some of the stress that I have been experiencing these last few months. A nice long day at the beach, with a god book, a few tropical cocktails and a lounge chair with an umbrella sounds REAL good right about now. I want a clean slate, I want to move forward with my life, and once I am settled here, I can go on living my life, and enjoy in the grooming and molding of my son. He will be a teenager in a year, which is a frightening thought, as it only means I am getting older as well. He is growing so fast, I can hardly believe he is becoming a little man, and the child I once knew is disappearing on a daily basis. With God’s help, I will try and become the father to him that MY father never was to me.

Wish me luck….


"I can retain neither respect or affection for a government which has been moving from wrong to wrong in order to defend its own immorality" Mahatma Ghandi

softnlush 54F

5/1/2006 6:34 am

Believe it or not I have been where you are..with roomate situations in my past life..with stress from family and finances..but one day you will indeed laugh about all of this..this much I know is true..cause I am laughing all the time now..well,except since this accident..and NO I did not get a car Sunday..long story I will share with you sometime..but never take a prescription drug from a well meaning friend for a may cause your body to reject you entirely LOL LOL

clevergirl4U 59F

5/1/2006 7:49 am

Seems you have a LOT on your plate. Those times are really rough, but at least you can take comfort in knowing that it isn't a permanent condition. I hope that this week is a little less stressful

AltumHunksUnite 54M

5/1/2006 8:50 am

Wishing you luck, and strength too.

Stay strong.

Let me drive. I like the view

kelly402005 53F

5/1/2006 9:37 am

Good luck Scotty!
~~I would have helped you clean! You shoulda called!!!
Everything will "all good", quick fast and in a hurry.

Relax while you can. With the mental strength of an ox!!!
~ You'll be at work next week!

Have a relaxing, calm day okay,

aascrompn 43M
6444 posts
5/3/2006 9:51 am

Very sorry to hear about Jennifer! I hope that she apprciates all that you are trying to do for her.

The ass that lived with you. It amazes me, but I'll be you he didn't even think about helping you. I'll bet that he won't ever feel bad about it, b/c he doesn't realize that he screwed you.

Your job - Don't worry about anything you can't control. You said that you were clean, so the worrying is just anxiety over the other things that are happening to you right now.

Good luck, senior!

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