My Ex Wife  

rm_JohnMacLaine 51M
454 posts
4/8/2006 3:53 am

Last Read:
4/11/2006 1:11 pm

My Ex Wife

I met Jennifer in June of 1993, I was a member/director of a live cast and crew in SE Florida doing Rocky Horror. She was 17, I was 26. I was instantly attracted to her and she was an open flirt. I found myself thinking about her, fantasizing about her on a daily basis and although she was only 17, there was something about her that I couldnt put my finger on that drew me to her and I wanted to be with her.

Her mother was an alcoholic, so much so that she would go through a case of beer a night, and this caused an unsettling environment for Jen and her younger sister. Her step father was a kind man, and he did all he could to shelter the girls from their mother and her destructive behavior, but I could see where it was not a good situation for any of them.

Jen loved to dance, and she was very good at it. the moves, the grace, and the sexuality of how she performed turned me on to great lengths. I could tell there was a similar attraction in her to me, and we soon had the hots for each other. I knew the age difference was an issue, but as you know men, when hormones are racing in your mid 20's it is hard to turn down the pure sexuality of a woman you are attracted to.

July 4th weekend she comes to me at a show and asks if she could stay with me for a while. Her mother had become increasingly unstable and she was literally in fear of her life. I obliged and that weekend she moved in. About two months into the relationship I come home from work and she tells me to go into the bathroom and look on the sink. I go in there and on the counter sits a home pregnancy test. It is positive. This is September, and I immediately decide to do the right thing. she had proposed to me about a month prior and I was not sure how to take that, with it being so early in the relationship, but now I felt since she was pregnant, I needed to do the right thing.

So, being young and stupid at the time, I decided to marry her. We were married that Halloween, her being Wiccan, she wanted to be married on her favorite holiday. Her mother had moved to the St. Pete area by the time we were married, but she came over for the wedding and for the most part, behaved and did not cause any issues. The wedding was in our back yard, it was a simple JOP ceremony and we were happy with how things were going.

A couple of months later we were forced to move, mainly due to financial reasons, so we dedcided to move to St Pete, to be closer to her family. Her grandparensts were over here, her aunts, one of wich was a Dr, that being the main reason for wanting to move. Sharon is her favorite Aunt, and they had always been close to one another, so with Sharon being a doctor, and Jen worrying about the pregnancy, we thought it would be for the best. We stayed with her mother for a brief period of time, before finding a place of our own in Pinellis Park, which is a suburb of St Pete.

Alex was born in April, 2004 and we were a happy family for the most part, although money was always an issue, along with the fact I was so much older and she never had a chance to really enjoy a childhood, due to becoming pregnant so young. At the end of 1994, we had become a little more secure in our finances, and we decided to move back to SE Fl to be near our friends, and to raise our son. Things were tough, but we got through it somehow.

Unfortunately, by the middle of June that year things went sour, she was spending uncontrollably and we were going down the road to bankruptcy. We fought constantly, we argued over everything, not just money. One night it all came to a head and she left with my son to stay with a friend, that was the end of our marriage. In August she came to me and said she was having trouble and she didnt want to put Alex in danger by not being able to provide for him, so she asked me to take care of him for a while until she could get on her feet. Well I was in no position to take care of him on my own so I decided to move back home with my folks so that I could have a support group to help me with the baby.

In September of 95 I moved home, got a Job, and began to settle in as a single father, with a little help from my mom. In October, Jen asked to take Alex for a weekend, I was reluctant because I knew she was not yet stable and my mother was afraid she would run with him and I would never see him again. Anyway to make a long story short, I let her take him, and yes, she ran back to St Pete with my son and my mother had once again proven herself right.

I eventually got to see my son after about 3 months, we decided to settle all of our differences for the sake of Alex, and although there was mistrust, we felt it was best to try and work things out so that we could at least communicate with each other, her on one coast, me on the other.

I moved to Daytona through my job in the Summer of 96, and commuted about once a month to St Pete so that I could see my son. the divorce was final in the spring of 97, but Jen and I remained cordial, becoming close and friendly once again, for the sake of Alex. Finally in the summer of 98, I decided I had been away from my son long enough and moved here to Tampa, in order to be closer to him. Jen remarried about 5 or 6 years ago, and in the time that we had split, she had grown up, had another son, and was also raising her husbands's son as well.

She got her GED, she went to college, got her Bachelor's degree, and is now working towards her PHD in Psycology. She is a different person now than she was when we were married, she has matured, she has become a strong person, a caring person, and her and I over the last few years of me living here in Tampa have become the best of friends. She has done a lot more with her life than I have over the lat 10 years, and I have learned to admire and respect her both as a person, and as a mother.

She home schools the boys, she handles the bills, she has a bi-polar husband, which is not really a big deal so long as he takes his meds. He is actually a pretty good husband to her and a father/Step-father to the boys. He is a computer programmer, is a rational guy, and has been Jen's rock over the last few years. I admire him for taking on the responsibility of not only supporting my son, but her other son as well. I pay my child support, but he is the bread winner of the household and I have a lot of respect for him as well.

There is point to this whole story and the history I have just shown is leading up to why I am writing all of this.

You see, Jen was diagnosed with Crohn's disease when she was 11 years old. She has not had a major flare up in a long time, until about two months ago. Her grandmother passed away and the combination of that along with the fighting amongst her family, her mother and one of her uncles to be exact, she has had a tremendous amount of stress on her shoulders the last couple of months and her Crohn's has flared up as a result.

For those of you that dont know the effects of crohn's on the human body, you should read up on it, as it is a nasty disease and can be fatal in some cases if not put in check. Yesteday, she had a colonoscopy, and the doctor told her that if she had waited a couple of more days for the procedure, she would have lost her colon. She is now bedridden for a while, she is on drugs that will cause her immune system to shut down for a while, and she is in a lot of pain.

There is only so much I can write in one posting to explain how stressed this has made me, both in concen for her, along with the concern of my son running the risk of losing his mother. Although Jen and I have our differences, I still love her bcause of the fact she is the mother of my child. I do not know what I would do if I lost her, she has become a source of inspriation to me, she has become a confidant, and she has become probably my best friend.

I ask that you all say a prayer for her, keep her in your thoughts, and hope that she comes through this troubling time healthy, happy, and gets to coninue to grow both as a mother and a person. Thnk you all for reading this, and for allowing me to bear my soul to try and cope with this tremendous burden.

Have a great weekend everyone...


I am going to submit this as my entry in The writers Challenge to maximize the exposure of this writing to get as many prayers out there as I can. This is not a fictional story it is true, and it is my life..

please read all entries here [post 290740]

"I can retain neither respect or affection for a government which has been moving from wrong to wrong in order to defend its own immorality" Mahatma Ghandi

rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
4/8/2006 5:48 am

That was amazing writing and I love it that you two have become best friends. My daughter's name is Alex and when I got pregnant I was 18 and he was 42, so trust me, your age difference really isnt much of one. I will pray for her, and both of you will stay in my thoughts.

rm_JohnMacLaine replies on 4/9/2006 6:54 am:
I know the age dfference is not much, but it did make a difference in our case. Thank you for the compliments, I enjoy your writings as well. becoming best friends with her has made things a lot easier for Alex, and he is growing up pretty normal at his age. My best to you and Alex as well.

bluegirl39 51F

4/8/2006 6:07 am

I'll be sure to ay a prayer for her

rm_JohnMacLaine replies on 4/9/2006 6:55 am:
Thank you!!

AltumHunksUnite 54M

4/8/2006 1:31 pm

A few more prayers from my direction too.

Let me drive. I like the view

rm_JohnMacLaine replies on 4/9/2006 6:57 am:
Thank you Cleavis, it was great seeing you again!

kelly402005 53F

4/8/2006 7:27 pm

First of all, Jen, your son and of course you are in my prayers. I prayed as soon as you asked for it.

It's wonderful that you feel obligated to be there for your son. Keep in mind that there are a hell of a lot of men that don't do that. ~~ I thank you for being that kind of man.

~~ Your post is wonderful! Good luck........


rm_JohnMacLaine replies on 4/9/2006 6:59 am:
Thank you for the prayers. I owe it to Alex to be there for him. I am trying to avoid the mistakes my father made with me, which is why it is very important to me to play an important role in his life.

aascrompn 43M
6444 posts
4/9/2006 7:41 pm

Of course I will pray for her and for you and your son!! I'm very sorry, my friend, to hear this news. If you need a shoulder, feel free to email me for my offline contact info.

rm_JohnMacLaine replies on 4/11/2006 5:56 am:
Thanks for the prayers Mike, should I need a shoulder, I will contact you. Thanks for the support. It's good to see you still hanging around. Keep your chin up.

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